


Culltown

by Violetscented



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Hook does touch Emma a bit until he gets what he deserves - it's all for the angst, Memory Loss, Romance, couple's therapy, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 15:35:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 48,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3615210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violetscented/pseuds/Violetscented
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loosely based on a prompt regarding one of the canon couples being in couple’s therapy ending up with a SwanQueen romance. It’s set it another realm, where Emma, Regina and Hook end up after chasing a character and falling through a portal. This world is a dark cityscape where the three of them have to battle amnesia and the wish to go home to a place they can’t quite remember. Most of all Emma and Regina have to figure out who they are really in love with. (Hook obviously has to be in this story but he's not around more than he has to be, this is a SQ fic and certainly not CS.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Storybrooke

**Author's Note:**

> Original prompt from an anonymous user on Tumblr was: Hi! I love ur fics! :) I dunno if your currently taking any prompts… but what about Archie recommending Regina and Robin (or Emma and Hook) to go to sex therapy, since their marriage isn't working out. Of course... they have a lovely female therapist. ;) Swanqueeeeen. and maybe angst/drama?  
> And my reply: Hi! Yes, I do take prompts. Sadly my brain doesn’t always convert them into regular fics though. I like to write urban fantasy stories normally and your prompt just made me think of that the different realms in OUAT (Neverland, Wonderland, EF, our world and wherever Frankenstein is supposed to be from) means that there are endless possibilities for worlds that the characters could end up in. So I’ve written the start of a fanfic with your prompt intact but on the premise that Regina, Emma and Hook chase a fairytale character back into his noir/urban fantasy world which I have made up. Add some amnesia and some counselling for Hook and Emma and soon we’ll have Emma seeing Regina in a new light. (If you don’t like my take on the prompt, obviously feel free to ask another writer to do a Storybrooke version.) Thanks for the prompt!

He was running fast as hell, Emma chased after him and did her usual marvelling-at-how-weird-my-life-is thing as she thought  _I'm chasing an magical rat that can change into a smelly dude with a jack-knife_   _because he threatened to kill my son, yep, must be Monday._

Behind her Emma could hear Killian's heavy footfalls and the clicking heels that unmistakably belonged to Regina. For the hundredth time Emma thought  _how the hell does she run so fast in those things?_

Emma was gaining on the scumbag now and she was almost close enough to grab on to his collar when he picked something up from his coat pocket and threw it on the ground. A round, growing swirl opened up and Emma had time to think that it must have been a portal-opening magic bean he threw before the vortex drew her in.

Killian had caught up with her and grabbed her arm as to pull her back, but it was too late and he got sucked in too. Regina stopped just by the vortex and her brain was just about to start coming up with smarter ideas than just jumping into a portal to god knows where and leaving Henry without either of his mothers. But then a thought that negated everything else entered her head,  _Emma is in there and she might need me._ Regina jumped in and heard the sounds of Mary Margaret and David screaming her and Emma's name as the vortex closed behind her.

Regina landed on what appeared to be a street corner in a busy city. It looked a bit like the big cities that Regina had seen in America but some things were different, the sky appeared to be more purple than blue and the city was darker and grimier. No colourful ads or lit up signs assaulted their senses, everything man-made was muted in colour but very loud in sound.

Emma grabbed Regina's arm. "Regina! Are you ok?"

Regina saw that the blonde was clutching her leg and that her foot seemed to be turned in a strange angle. "Better than you by the looks of it. Is your leg alright?"

"Painful as hell. When I get that rodent jerk I'll make him pay for this", Emma growled through gritted teeth.

"Not as much as I will, love", Hook added. "We'll find him and then make him spit out another of those beans and take us all back to Storybrooke."

"Well yes, but we will not be able to do anything like that until Emma has seen a medical professional about that leg. I'm no expert but her foot shouldn't be able to bend like that. Something is broken, probably her ankle. I can try to use my magic to heal it but if magic doesn't work in this realm we really do need to find some sort of hospital before doing anything else" Regina explained tersely.

But before Regina even had the chance to do more than rest her hand on Emma's ankle something that looked like a large wave of air distortion, sort of like the optical illusion created by hot air in the desert, rolled over them and threw them up in the air and back down behind a car. When they woke they stared at each other in confusion, complete strangers to each other and themselves.


	2. Welcome to Culltown

She ran her fingers through her thick, dark hair to make sure it was dry and checked her reflection in the mirror. All of a sudden rain started to hammer on the window and she rolled her eyes in the mirror and mumbled "great, guess it doesn't matter if it's dry then."

Regina wished she didn't have to go out in the now rainy and cold night but she had to go pick Emma and Killian up. After they had all realised that their long term memories weren't coming back anytime soon, there had been refresher courses on skills that would be easy to pick up again, skills that had muscle memory elements like riding a bike or driving a car for example and Regina had taken the driving class. Killian had showed no skill with driving a car and it was assumed that he had never known how to drive and Emma still had to wait until her leg had healed completely before she was allowed to take the class.

So Regina picked up her coat and umbrella and made her way out to the sleek, black car she had recently been provided with. The ruling powers of Culltown had given all the inhabitants effected by what turned out to be a freak accident in a nearby lab, generous compensation. No one knew who had been residents of the city and who were tourists unless addresses had been gaged from the victim's personal effects. When the pockets of Regina, Emma and Killian had been checked all that had been found was a pack of gum (Emma's), a lipstick (Regina's) and a photo of Emma and Killian cuddling close and smiling at each other in what looked like a diner (Killian's).

Luckily in the passing two weeks since the accident some facts that come back to them, like their names, that they were originally from somewhere else and that they had a pressing need to be in that place now – but where was it and what was the desperate rush they all felt?

Counsellors had been offered to anyone needing to talk and Emma had grudgingly agreed and so had Killian. Regina refused, she couldn't exactly say why but she had a feeling that she was not the type to go crying to some quack about her problems unless her life depended on it. But now she was going to the counsellor that was helping Emma and Killian to pick up the two lovebirds and drive them back to the three room apartment that had been supplied for them.

Regina's heels clicked on the wet sidewalk and she took in the large amount of traffic going by on the dimly lit streets. Regina winced at how busy and dark this place was, she thought that if she was in charge of this town she would have increased street lighting and added more roads around the town to at least stop some of the traffic which just powered through the city on their way somewhere else.

When she stopped the car in the crowded car park the  _sometimes_ happy couple was nowhere to be seen. Regina waited impatiently and checked her lipstick in the rear view mirror.

A bunch of teenage boys, with their faces adorned with the small blue tattoos that were popular amongst adolescents in Culltown sidled up to Regina's nice car and grinningly stared in through the front window. She wasn't sure if they were staring at the car or at her but she wasn't too fond of either idea. She held up her elegant hand and created a bright fireball in it, careful to not let the fireball come near anything flammable in the car.

The teenagers exclaimed something she couldn't hear and all took off in a walk that was too slow to be a panicked run but too fast to be anything but a let's-get-out-of-here-this-bitch-is-scary exit manoeuvre. Regina scoffed quietly with a jaded smirk and let the fire die in her hand.

This world had some magic, but it was rare and usually only found in the ruling classes. This was yet another reason why the three strangers had been treated well by Culltown, it only took a few days before Regina's magic made itself known and a day or two after that Emma's showed up as well. Killian however had so far shown himself to be utterly non-magical. Regina didn't know why, but that fact always made her smile.

Then she saw Emma storming out towards the car, while holding her still mending leg to ease the pain, and at first assumed the blonde was trying to avoid the rain but when she sat in the front and muttered "just go, leave the jackass to walk home" Regina realised that the rushing was more to do with Killian Hook than the rain.

"Good session then, dear?" Regina grinned at her and earned herself a death glare from the blonde.

"I'm not in the mood, Regina. It was awful, it turned into more of the couple's therapy crap that our therapist thinks we need. Apparently all the problems in our relationship is my fault", Emma replied bitterly.

At her last words Killian had gotten in to the car and sat down and muttered "that's not exactly what she said, love. Anyway, she's just trying to help."

He brushed some of the raindrops off his leather clothes and they sprayed all over the expensive seats. Regina hadn't paid for this car but she still frowned at how the guy with the hook was treating it. "You might want to look into buying more clothes, Killian. Ones that are actual fabric and don't smell of dead dog", Regina snarked at him and started the car.


	3. dinner and coffee

It was an hour later and Regina was cooking a late dinner for them. As she was the only one who had shown any culinary skill she had taken over that role and grudgingly agreed to feed the other two to keep them from living off breakfast cereal (in Emma's case) and the ginger-spiced sweet alcohol that Culltown was famous for (in Hook's case.)

To keep from being the victim of Emma's sulk, Killian was trying to help by making the sauce for the dinner of duck, boiled carrots and dauphinoise potatoes that Regina was making. Regina winced whenever he over-stirred it but didn't feel like adding to the tense mood by berating him more than necessary.

Dinner was a quiet and painfully awkward ordeal for all three of them. As Regina pondered leaving the two fighting lovers alone and going to a restaurant, she picked up a warm bread roll and gracefully ripped a bite sized piece off. She placed the rest of the bread on the side of her plate, careful as to not it get soggy by landing in any sauce, and ate the piece she had torn off. As she chewed it methodically she saw that Emma had been staring fixedly at her hands and that her gaze was still locked on the elegant hands with the fine mesh of barely visible veins on the backs.

Regina wondered if there was anything wrong with her hands or her fingers, had she spilled sauce on them maybe, and as soon as she had swallowed her bread she said "Emma. Can I help you?"

Emma awoke at the sound of the husky, rich voice that suddenly broke the silence and she stared at Regina like a deer in headlights. "Huh? What?"

"You keep staring at my hands, dear", Regina explained as her tongue darted out to discreetly grab what felt like a tiny breadcrumb on her lip.

"Uh, right. Sorry. I was just thinking", Emma said distractedly and looked everywhere but at Regina.

"Aye, she does that a lot, lately.  _Thinks_  while staring into space and ignoring everything you say or bloody well do", Killian added tersely and took a big gulp of wine.

"Alright, that's it!" Emma barked. "Can you stop playing the martyr for two seconds and stop making everything about you?"

 _Here we go again_ , Regina thought and for the hundred time these past weeks she considered getting her own place. But she didn't have the money and if she was honest she didn't want to be alone in this strange place without knowing completely who she was. At least when she was with Emma and Killian she was in company who knew how she felt.

Emma and Killian kept verbally swiping at each other, him complaining that she didn't show any interest in him and her telling him to stop being a clingy teenager and to let her breathe once in a while.

Regina finished her meal, cutting the pieces of food in small pieces and eating it calmly and methodically to the backdrop of the arguing lovers. When she put her fork down to take a sip of wine a splash of sauce nearly hit her plate. Killian had thrown his cutlery on his plate in rage and was now getting up while muttering that he needed fresh air. When he left he slammed the door so hard it made the doorframe tremble.

Emma got up to follow him but then sat back down. She put her face in her hands and quietly mumbled "I'm so sorry, Regina. It must be hell living with us."

"Well it would be nicer if the two of you stopped leaving pieces of clothing laying around everywhere, but I'll live", Regina calmly replied and put her wine glass down.

Emma pursed her lips and glared at the all too common dig about her charcoal leather jacket being thrown everywhere and never hung up on the hooks for coats and jackets.

"You know as well as I do that it's mainly Killian who leaves his stuff everywhere. I'm trying to apologize here. I don't know why we can't stop fighting! This therapy was supposed to be helping us get our memories back but it's turned into some kind of couple's therapy and I don't know if it's helping or hindering our relationship."

Regina nodded pensively and started to arrange the plates to take them to the sink as she asked "why did you say that everything was your fault when we were in the car?"

Emma sighed again and limped up to help Regina clear the table. "Killian and the therapist, who by the way is a gorgeous redhead that Killian can't stop staring at, seem to think that I am making myself emotionally and physically unavailable. But I mean come on! I've got memory loss and we all know we belong somewhere else and that we should be working to get back there! Not sit around talking about me  _prioritising Killian's needs_!"

"I agree. Getting home is what is most important, that's why I've been trying to work on my memory with brain exercises. I spoke to a doctor who said that any form of jogging the memory could shake loose some important hints. But so far, it's all been to no avail", Regina said in a bitter voice.

Emma nodded distractedly. "Well, I'm sure it's more useful than me sitting there hearing Killian bitch about me being cold in bed. I mean, I've got more important things on my mind than getting into his leather pants right now."

Regina shivered at the mental image and cleared her throat before saying "so, things aren't quite right in the bedroom?"

"Oh, there not quite right anywhere and I'm feeling tired of getting the blame for it. I'm doing my best you know", Emma said with a furrowed brow.

Regina put the plate she was about to rinse down in the sink and let her hand briefly rest on Emma's before saying "don't be so hard on yourself. We are all doing our best and just struggling on with an impossible situation. If I am brutally honest, dear… I sometimes feel like you and I want to get back home more than Killian does. I'm not saying he is comfortable staying here or that he is not trying, but he doesn't seem to feel the desperate need to get home that we do. The feeling that…"

"…someone there needs us", Emma finished her sentence.

"Exactly", Regina replied and stared into the sea-green eyes meeting hers. Once again she found herself wondering what her relationship with this woman was back in their home. Were they friends? Neighbours? Co-workers? Enemies? Family? They didn't look alike, they had very different skin tone, hair colour, facial features and even mannerisms but they could still be cousins, maybe?

"I don't know. It's all such a mess. I suppose I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that you are caught up in the middle of all of this. And I'm sorry you have to drive us to and from therapy, next time we should just take a taxi", Emma said guiltily.

"No. Taxis are impossibly expensive here and it's certainly too far to walk. Even for you and your incessant, and may I add leg-crushing, speed-walking”, Regina scoffed.

Emma had learned that Regina's little sarcasms and bitchy comments were usually not hostile, it was just the way she interacted with people. Emma didn't know if it was her imagination but she feel like she was the only one who was usually spared from the worst comments. Like Regina opened her mouth to say something cruel but then stopped when she realised it was Emma, or at least said something milder than first planned. But maybe that was all just in her head.

"Want some coffee?" Regina asked when the dishwasher was filled and safely humming away.

"Yeah, why not. I doubt I'll be able to sleep tonight anyway", Emma sighed and sat down at the table.

"Are you going to be moping like that all evening? If so I'll put something stronger in the coffee", Regina remarked coldly.

Emma glared at her and said "no. Get the chessboard out and you can beat me in that stupid game. It'll make you feel happy and it'll distract me."

When the doctors assessed the three seemingly foreign amnesia patients they suggested that the trio try to find objects and activities that seemed familiar and stick to them like glue.

About two days later Regina had spotted a familiar looking game in a store. The game was called Royal War but with slight differences to the look of the pieces it was almost identical to something that Regina remembered was called chess. When she described the rules both Emma and Killian had vague memories of it and as they bought it and began to play Emma had remembered more of this chess thing, mainly she remembered that she sucked at it.

Regina on the other hand was a brilliant chess player, always reading her opponent and planning ten steps ahead. She would become quite irate with Emma sometimes since the blonde clearly had the intelligence and logical brain to play the game but not the patience to plan her moves. Instead the blonde just made it up as she went along, this meant that if she was lucky she won one in five games and was thoroughly thrashed in the other four. Still, it felt nice to play the game and if Emma was honest, it was nice to see Regina so engaged and relaxed.

When they played the game neither of them was fretting about going home or their lost memories, it was a couple of hours respite from the torturous thoughts that filled their days and plenty of their sleepless nights.

Emma got the board ready as Regina poured them a large mug of coffee each, Emma's with a dash of milk and her own just black. Emma took her mug gratefully and slurped a sip of the steaming beverage immediately.

"Careful", Regina warned her.

"Yes, mom", Emma replied in a way that showed that this exact exchange took place often.

Emma sighed happily after her first sip and mumbled "damn, that is some good coffee. You always make better coffee than anyone else."

Regina gave a little chuckle and mused "I wonder if that's the case back home as well? I'm pretty sure we have coffee."

Emma slurped another sip and said "oh yeah, I know this stuff. I think I was pretty much raised on a diet of this stuff."

"That would explain a lot", Regina quipped but smiled at Emma to take the edge of her words.

Emma just rolled her eyes and looked down at the chess pieces, which in their guise of the game Royal War were in the colours of light grey versus dark grey.

Emma picked up a light grey pawn. "Okay, so I'll play light as usual?"

"As always", Regina said and braved a sip of her hot, black coffee.


	4. Distance at night but closeness in daylight

It was a loud banging against the wall that woke Regina. She sat up and was just about to scream at her flatmates to shut up or possibly just go in there and twist their heads off. But then she realised that they weren't fighting for once. They were having sex.

Regina scrunched up her nose in disgust and quietly muttered "I really don't understand that woman's taste."

The soft thuds against the wall continued and then there was a man's loud groan. Regina tried not to listen to any of it, but in the still of the night it was impossible not to. Everything went silent for a while, then Regina heard muted voices. Killian's sounded upset and almost angry but Emma's was strangely emotionless. Regina thought she could hear what sounded like "you could at least try to enjoy yourself, this was your idea, love".

Regina scrunched her nose up again as she assumed that a fight was breaking out. She wasn't going to stay for anymore of this nonsense. She got up from her warm bed and was happy that her newly purchased silk pyjamas was keeping the worst of the chill out, however she still picked up a black robe to put on top, Culltown always felt cold which somehow felt familiar. She went down to the kitchen and started making some apple tea. She drank it slowly and read today's newspaper for the second time that day.

After a while she got too tired and went to the bathroom before heading back to her bedroom, in the hope that the two quarrelling lovers were done with both the quarrelling and the lovemaking for tonight. As she left the bathroom she almost walked into Emma.

"Oh, sorry" the blonde said and tucked her hair behind her ears in a self-conscious gesture.

Regina glanced down at Emma's body which was just covered in a large black shirt, clearly Killian's. But as Killian Hook had a slender figure and wasn't that tall, the shirt was a lot more revealing than a man's shirt could be when worn by a woman. Regina felt a strange pull in her lower abdomen at the sight but when her gaze reached Emma's sad face she realised that what she  _actually wanted to do_  was hold the downcast woman who was now walking past her to get into the bathroom.

"Emma" Regina softly called after her.

Emma turned and looked at Regina, eyes still filled with hurt, confusion and guilt for her lack of erotic interest in her boyfriend.

Suddenly Regina realised she didn't know what she was going to say, she only knew that she wanted to make the blonde feel better. In the end she settled for "sweet dreams" and a faint smile.

She realised it was feeble and inwardly cursed herself for not knowing what to say to make things better. She could tell that she had never been the type who was comfortable chatting about emotions and sharing things. But then, Emma didn't strike her as that type either.

"Yeah. You too. I… um… hope we didn't wake you", Emma mumbled with her eyes focused on the ground.

There was a twinge in Regina's heart and she tried another faint smile as she lied "no, I just couldn't sleep in general."

"Okay", Emma replied and hovered by the bathroom door.

"You better hurry up before you get too cold" Regina said before she stopped herself. Why was she so protective of Emma? Could Emma be her employee back home or were they family after all? As Regina found her gaze lowering to see clearly hard nipples showing through Emma's shirt she felt an inner voice murmur  _definitely not family or you wouldn't like that so much_. She scolded herself for the thought as much for as looking at Emma's breasts, however briefly.

Emma interrupted her reverie by saying "yeah sure, thanks" and going into the bathroom.

Regina wanted to slap herself but settled for clenching her fists until her knuckles whitened.

None of them slept well that night. Killian and Emma laid on their sides, facing away from each other and fretted about what they felt for each other and what they could do to fix their situation. Killian felt helpless and Emma just felt guilty and lost.

In her bedroom Regina tossed and turned, disturbed by her reaction to Emma's body. Not just because the blonde had been upset and shouldn't have been objectified at all but because Regina hadn't considered that maybe she… was attracted to women. Now that thought wouldn't leave Regina's mind.

What if she was actually in love with Emma? Clearly they couldn't have been a couple back in their home, not just because of the picture that was found in Killian's pocket but because those two had both on some emotional level felt that they were in a relationship. Killian and Emma both said that kissing and touching felt familiar.

Alone in her bed with only the pale moonlight for company Regina wondered if Emma would find it  _familiar_  if she kissed her. The thought confused her and she wondered if maybe in the place they came from, she had been just as confused by her feelings for the beautiful blonde sleeping on the other side of the wall. She closed her eyes tight, willing the thoughts to go away. She knew that she was a strong person, she could bury these emotions and thoughts. She just had to get some sleep and luckily, soon she did.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Regina sat primly on the sofa reading a book. It was a novel about a very philosophical murderer who constantly analysed and dissected his actions while trying to stop himself from committing his heinous acts, it was actually quite good.

The book had been recommended to her by a neighbour she had met in the elevator. He had been out of town when the accident occurred and so his memories were intact, including his memories of good books. He would often mention what he was reading to Regina and lend her books, she suspected that he was going to ask her out to dinner soon to discuss the books and possibly try to get into her dress. Regina had contemplated telling him that she was into women if he did. Lately, with her feelings towards Emma, that was seeming like a very plausible idea.

Emma stormed into the room after her morning walk to buy the paper, her limp was worse than usual as she always insisted on taking the stairs. Killian had claimed that the elevator should be her best friend but Emma and her doctors said she needed to build up the muscles in the leg and most of all in the ankle again. Not wanting to use painkillers unless forced to, Emma would try to use her magic to minimise the pain in the leg and that was what she tried to do now.

Regina fixated doggedly on her book as to not get involved as the blonde took off her boot and sock and proceeded to pull up her trouser leg and hold her hand on the area where the pain was worst in an attempt to fix it herself. This very rarely worked and Regina waited for the blonde to ask her to use her own more powerful and more manageable magic.

A few more magic attempts from the blonde and a few more attempts to focus on the words on the page for Regina and then a deep sigh from Emma broke both their fruitless efforts. She limped over to Regina and placed her leg next to the brunette on the sofa.

"Yes, very nice, dear. I think they call those  _legs_ ", Regina drawled and kept reading.

Emma sighed again and tiredly whined "could you just fix it without any sarcasm or lectures about taking the elevator?"

Regina calmly placed her book in her lap and reached her hand out to rest on Emma's ankle as she asked "about here?"

"Yeah, round there and then a little higher too, closer to the knee" Emma said with a wince.

Regina let the magic flow out of her hand and focused her thoughts on pain relief. The magic created heat between their skin and Regina watched as her slightly darker skin rested against Emma's paleness.  _My hand looks good on her_ , she thought to herself and then panicked at the thought. She had to say something to break the tension she had just created in her own mind.

She cleared her throat quietly and said "I still say you should have let me try to heal these injuries with magic."

"So do I", Emma replied with a shrug. "But since the doctors were so sure that your magic would be unstable and that you would end up causing more damage than good, maybe it's not worth the risk?"

"Perhaps not", Regina agreed reluctantly.

She had finished with the ankle and slid her hand up Emma's lower leg while stating "say stop when I approach the right area". Emma's skin was so soft and the exertion of the walk up the many stairs meant that Emma's natural scent was more apparent on her heated skin than usual. Regina didn't know if she enjoyed the feel of the skin or the scent of the woman more, but she felt guilty for both.

Emma didn't just say stop, instead she put her hand over Regina's when it had moved into the next painful area and softly groaned "there". As her hand rested on the brunette's, she felt those slightly raised veins that she had been admiring the other day and for some reason Emma felt a strange tingling in her stomach. She ignored it and focused on the pain in her leg and the sensation of the ache slowly dissipating under Regina's hand.

When it was done Emma let go of Regina's hand and got her leg off the sofa. She pleasurably groaned "oh, man, that feels so much better! Thank you, Regina" and went to retrieve her sock and boot.

Regina swallowed hard and marvelled at how her hand felt cold and strangely abandoned without the heat of Emma's leg and hand. "You're very welcome, dear" she muttered and picked up her book to try and read again.

As Emma bent to pick up her boot she muttered "screw it" and threw the boot over towards the shoe rack. She took the other one off and threw it too and then walked back to the sofa.

"Change of plans?" Regina enquired and tried to sound uninterested as she kept her eyes fixed on the now seemingly nonsensical words in her book.

Emma sat down on the sofa and uncomfortably stretched her legs out in front of her. "Yeah, I was meant to meet Killian in town so we could buy him some clothes, you know, like you suggested after our last counselling session. After all, he can't keep slouching around in just those leather outfits all the time. But I'm tired so he can wait, we did say late morning and it's only 9.20 now so I've got some time to stretch my legs and rest before I go meet him."

"I see", Regina replied and continued pretending to read.

Emma tried to angle her long, slim legs to the side to stretch them further but it clearly wasn't working as she grimaced and muttered "Regina, do you mind if I lay down for a few minutes? I can't seem to stretch my calves properly while sitting down."

Regina was just going to ask if she expected her to leave the sofa and suggest that Emma went to her bed to stretch out instead. But then the blonde silenced her by laying down with her head in Regina's lap and her legs stretching out in the sofa and over the armrest.

Regina lifted her book to ensure it wasn't in the way as her lap unexpectedly filled with Emma's head and blonde locks which were now splayed out over Regina's black skirt and stocking clad thighs.

Regina pretended to keep reading but all she could think about was the weight and warmth of Emma in her lap and that scent of the blonde's skin which was fading but was still alluringly hinted in the air. Regina realised it smelled a little like cinnamon and wondered if Emma's lotion or soap was cinnamon-scented or if all that strange cinnamon-spiced hot chocolate the blonde had meant that the blonde now permanently smelled of the spice. Regina looked up as she realised that she somehow knew that their home had cinnamon too. Maybe their home wasn't too far away from here after all?

As Regina pondered this she noticed that the mainly sleepless night was having its toll on Emma. The blonde was asleep in Regina's lap now and she looked simply radiant. Her features were calm and soft and Regina allowed her gaze to wander from the high cheekbones to the cute little dip in the blonde's chin. She wondered how anyone could be so…  _truly beautiful_  as she resisted tracing the line of Emma's pink lips with her index finger.

Suddenly Emma's phone rang, the device was one of Culltown's most popular phone models, translucent with a low ringtone and a wake up alarm which gave its owner a tiny electric shock when it was time to wake up. Regina hated the things. It rang again and Emma shifted irately in her sleep and turned her head, this meant that her face was towards Regina now and her nose and lips brushed against the burgundy cashmere sweater that the brunette wore.

Suddenly the brunette realised that she had stopped breathing and exhaled, making her slender lower abdomen inch further out and add to the touch of her stomach and the lower part of Emma's face. Regina watched in shock as Emma nuzzled into the fabric and she felt like the contact gave her a pleasurable electric shock, shooting up through her torso and down between her legs to finish in a soft tingling in her sex.

The phone rang again and this time it woke Emma from her slumber, or was it her nuzzling that startled her out of sleep? Regina wasn't about to find out as the blonde sat up suddenly and gave herself a dizzying head rush. She scrambled for her phone but dropped it in Regina's lap in her confusion.

Regina sighed and grabbed the phone, she muttered "take a deep breath, I'll answer the call" and pressed the green icon on the screen. She snapped the words "Emma's phone" into the device with a frown.

A man's voice said "Regina?"

"Yes, Killian. Good deduction. Emma has just succeeded in making herself extremely dizzy but if she is mentis compos now she might be able to speak with you, please hold" Regina intoned and gave Emma a questioning look.

Emma was yawning but nodded and held her hand out for her phone. When she held it to her ear she muttered "yeah, sure. I'll get going soon, meet me by that coffee place with the amazing cream-covered syrapy thingies. Yeah, them. Stay there and I'll be there as soon as I can. Okay, sure. Um, yeah… missing you too. See you soon." Then she pressed the red icon on her screen and ran her hand over her face, nearly smudging her mascara.

Regina picked up her book and drawled "have fun, dear" before focusing her gaze back on the words on the page.

Emma looked at her for a while, face in full grumpy mode, and Regina fought hard not to look at her or acknowledge the pout the blonde was giving her.

Emma sighed theatrically and took Regina's book from her hands and threw it behind the sofa and said "oh look, you're done reading, now you can come shopping with us."

Regina tried not to smile at the petulant child in front of her and kept her face stern and her voice uninterested as she said "you just want a lift over there."

"Well yeah, that too. But mostly I want you to come with me to see these boots I saw last week. I'm not sure if they are too high for me and you are good with fashion stuff" Emma shrugged and ran her hand through her tangled locks.

"I'm _good with fashion stuff_?" Regina queried with a raised eyebrow.

"You know what I mean. Come with me! Please," Emma said and gave Regina her best puppy look.

And just like that Regina was going shopping with the quarrelling couple. She wanted to slap herself.


	5. Those boots and that little boy

"They are very attractive and I don't think they would be too high, however they do have a bit of a heel. What will that do to your leg and ankle?" Regina asked as she surveyed the expensive looking, coffee-coloured boots in the shop window.

"Well I wouldn't wear them until my leg was properly healed, obviously", Emma replied in a quickly thought up lie. The truth was that she hadn't even considered what the boots would be like to wear she just knew that she thought they were sexy and that they would be to Regina's taste.

As Emma was realising what clothes she liked and was comfortable in she was finding that her style was quite different from Regina's. The first time Emma had put on a flannel shirt Regina had just looked at her with raised eyebrows and clearly swallowed down an acerbic comment. But then last week Emma had bought a tight, knee-length black dress and Regina had immediately asked where she got it as she would like to buy one too.

Emma had felt a strange but nice feeling of connection with the other woman and had offered that Regina could borrow it anytime she liked. Regina had mumbled about them possibly not being the same size and Emma had just been about to argue that idea until she realised that the brunette was a little curvier but also had slimmer arms and legs than she did. Not that Emma minded having more muscle tone, in fact she was quite happy with her body and realised that she must have put effort in to achieve it, something she continued now with push ups, sit ups and her long walks. It was just the fact that she felt very  _strange_  when she spent too much time thinking about how Regina's body differed from her own.

"So, do we have a decision on the boots, ladies?" Killian asked, he was carrying a large shopping bag containing his new purchases in one hand and ate an apple he had skewered on his hook.

Regina looked at the apple and muttered something that sounded to Emma like "unhygienic".

"I don't know", Emma faltered as she looked at the boots. Damn they were pretty.

Suddenly Regina sighed and said "well, you clearly really want them and we do have a generous allowance from the Mayor of Culltown, one which might have thinned out by now if it wasn't for their awe of our magic, so why not splash out? At least it won't mean that Killian and I have to come here again with you to stare at  _footwear_."

Emma filtered out every bit of bitchyness in Regina's statement and only heard the words  _buy the boots, you clearly really want them_  and so she beamed and replied "yeah, I'm gonna try them on." She grabbed Regina's arm and started to enter the shop.

Regina considered asking why  _she_  had to come in but then it wasn't like she was doing anything else anyway, so she let herself be dragged over to the shelf with long boots and soon helped Emma find the right size.

Killian followed them in but walked over to look at black boots for men. There were a quite fetching pair with pewter buckles and he was just about to take one and bring it to Emma to ask her opinion when he heard something rare. Emma was laughing, not just a polite little laugh but a real, genuine from the heart laugh. It was a beautiful sound and it lit up Emma's face in a way that Killian hadn't seen. Well, maybe he had back where they came from but he certainly hadn't seen it the last two weeks here in Culltown.

Emma's laughter slowly rang out and Killian tried to determine what had made Emma laugh like that. Soon he saw that Regina was staring after a stylish, tall woman and making comments that clearly irked the stranger.

He put the boot back on the shelf and walked over to the women and enquired about what was happening.

Emma shook her head but was still smiling as she said "ah, it was pretty dumb actually. But this woman, the one over there, made some snide remarks about me not being the type to wear boots like these and especially not with my limp. Apparently these ones are the last in this size and she should have them instead of me because she can  _'make them pop'_ and I can't. Well Regina replied and made some really mean comments about what she would like to pop and you should have seen that chick's face. It was awesome!"

Regina was pretending to look at boots as Emma retold the story but Killian could see that something which looked a lot like a proud smile was ghosting at the brunette's crimson lips. Strangely Killian felt a pang of jealousy but he soon shook off the ridiculous sensation and revelled in the memory of Emma's charming laugh instead. He helped her up as soon as she had put her own sensible ankle boots on and they all went over to the counter to buy the boots.

* * *

Shopping done, they were walking back to Regina's car. Hook was explaining why his shopping was mainly made up of various leather garments once again and both Emma and Regina were only half-listening when it happened.

One second they were walking along the sidewalk and the next it was like a hand had grabbed both their hearts and squeezed them for a second. They both stopped dead and stared after  _him_ , that young dark-haired boy dressed in a dark coat and a long scarf. They didn't know him of course and the woman holding his hand looked at them strangely for their mad staring, but there was something about the boy's hair and outfit that felt so… familiar. So familiar and so painful.

They both looked at each other, trying to gage if the other woman had stopped and now looked haunted for the same reason as they did. There was panic in both of their eyes, something in their vanished memories was fighting to come through and it felt so very important.

Killian had kept walking and talking but now stopped as he realised that neither of the two women were with him. As he turned around he saw them standing on either side of the sidewalk, staring at each other as if they had both seen a ghost.

He hurried to them, put his hand on Emma's arm and as he looked from one woman to the other he asked "is everything alright? Has something happened?"

Emma stammered "t-that boy, did you see him Killian?"

"The lad with the scarf? Aye, what about him?"

"Didn't he… didn't he…", Emma broke off, unsure of how to continue.

"… remind you of someone? Someone important", Regina finished for her and now both women saw unshed tears in the other's eyes.

"Perhaps. Not much enough for me to really pay it any mind", Killian replied with a frown. It made him feel uncomfortable that Emma was sharing something with Regina for the second time today, something that didn't include him. Why didn't it include him?

Regina shook her head to try and clear it as soon as she noticed that people were starting to stare at them. She reached out a hand and briefly touched Emma's fingers as she quietly said "we should go home and discuss this, see if we can shake something loose in our memories, talk about that boy and who it might be we are remembering."

Still shell-shocked Emma just nodded at her and mechanically started to limp towards Regina's car with Killian's arm around her shoulders.

* * *

As soon as they got home they had all sat down with some coffee and discussed how they had felt and what they had thought as they saw the boy. Killian couldn't contribute much but as he didn't want to be left out and quite frankly, couldn't think of anything to do on his own, he stayed.

"I… kinda felt like I wanted to hug him. Like I wanted to pull him to me and just never let go, you know?" Emma mumbled as she wrapped her hands around her mug to warm them.

Regina slowly dipped her head in thoughtful agreement. "Yes, he made me want to protect him. To wrap that scarf up tighter so he wouldn't get cold. I haven't felt that way when I have seen children around Culltown before. I have felt a certain… longing to have children but never the pangs of true affection and worry that I felt when we saw that boy", Regina finished uncomfortably while she looked down at her hands that were resting on the table.

"So, um, are we in agreement that there must be a boy like him? You know, back home? Someone both of us clearly… love?" Emma asked with a furrowed brow.

"Yes", Regina replied simply. It seemed so obvious now that they had seen the boy. There was a boy back home. Someone they both loved, someone who belonged with them both. Suddenly Regina's heart skipped a beat. How could a child belong to them both unless they… unless they… had a child together?

She stared up at Emma with frightened eyes but the blonde wasn't looking, those expressive sea-green eyes were fixed on the half-filled coffee mug.

Killian on the other hand was looking at Emma, displeased once again that the blonde was acting like he wasn't in the room.

Regina didn't know what to say. She had to figure this out, she knew she was smart enough, she just had to figure it all out without any real information to go on and that was the problem. It doesn't matter how good you are at solving puzzles unless you have all of the puzzle pieces.

"Well, it's good that you ladies have something to go on. We can tell Sherlyn about it tonight, love? Maybe she'll have some insights into what this means?" Killian suggested as he smiled at Emma.

"Yeah, I guess", Emma said and seemed to be waking from her shocked state. "Yeah, we'll see if the therapist knows a way to keep jogging our memory about this. Regina, I know therapy isn't your thing but could you just come in for like ten minutes in tonight's session? Just to tell Sherlyn what you felt when we saw the kid?"

Regina just scrunched up her nose slightly at the suggestion so Emma spoke again. "Please? This could work and whoever this kid we both miss is, I think he's worth ten minutes of therapy, don't you?"

Regina had to agree with that. The way she felt when she saw that boy, that boy who reminded her so much of something so dear to her that it made her entire being tremble with emotion, that was worth  _ten years_  of therapy. She looked up at Emma's determined face and said "yes, I will come in for a little while to discuss this. But as soon as the topic drifts off to anything else I will wait in the car."

Emma smiled and looked relieved before replying "fine, just bring your book or something. We… um… usually have a lot of stuff to talk about."

From her tone of voice and the look on Emma's face Regina guessed that this translated to that  _Killian_  had a lot to talk about and she gave a subtle smile back at Emma to show that she understood her true meaning.

"So, anyone want more coffee or is alright if I drink the last of it", Killian asked as he obliviously watched the two women.


	6. Therapy and Thom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors note: Sorry that there hasn't been an update for a few days. I am away over Easter and good WiFi is scarce and time to write is even more so. Thank you for reading!

"Hi, I'm Sherlyn", said the redhead as she shook Regina's hand. "Hello, I'm Regina", replied the brunette as she tried hard not to stare at the beautiful heart-shaped face with its striking clear blue eyes. Emma and Killian hadn't been exaggerating when they said that their therapist was beautiful.

Sherlyn smiled warmly at Regina but otherwise her body language spoke of professionalism and clinical curiosity. "Welcome to our session. Did you change your mind about wanting to try therapy to deal with your memory loss?"

"No, Regina is just here to talk about something that we saw today", Emma replied hastily, frightened that the therapist might scare Regina off. It felt impossibly important to Emma that they discussed the boy they had seen.

If Sherlyn was surprised at this she hid it well. She merely adjusted her skirt and sat down in one of four armchairs surrounding an amber coffee table. Regina looked at the chairs and mused that this looked more like an expensive club lounge than a therapist's office, but she had to admit that it was relaxing. Anyway, the woman's demeanour and the many diplomas on the wall was enough to prove Doctor Sherlyn Brown's professionalism.

"I see. Please have a seat. You are welcome to stay as long as you wish, Regina. These sessions are paid for by the Mayor's office and includes all three of you", the redhead said while giving Regina an evaluating look.

Killian sat down first, choosing the chair next to Doctor Brown. Emma sat down, almost reluctantly, next to him and then Regina took the remaining chair, leaving her with the doctor on one side and Emma on the other.

"So, would you like to start by telling me what happened today or should we do an overall check of how everyone is feeling first?"

"What happened today", Emma and Regina said in chorus. Killian just glared at them, clearly he had wanted to talk about their general mood first.

It wasn't long until Emma had relayed what had occurred in town with the occasional agreeing nod from Regina. When she had finished, Sherlyn Brown looked at the wall behind them while gathering her thoughts.

"Normally I would suggest that you seek out whatever triggered your memories, or in this case the memories of your emotions, but as it was a random boy and you both agreed that just any child wouldn't have the same effect... things become more difficult. There is also the fact that staring at strangers children might seem a tad suspicious", Doctor Brown said as she tapped her French-manicured fingers against her leg in a pensive gesture.

The beautiful redhead pursed her lips thoughtfully and continued. "I suppose triggering the memories together in a more creative way might work. Has either of you shown any propensity for drawing? Trying to sketch this  _important boy_  might be a fruitful endeavour."

Emma and Regina looked at each other quizzically. Emma shrugged and Regina murmured "I haven't really had much reason to walk around sketching things here in Culltown, I've been quite busy with the amnesia and being a glorified taxi service."

Emma gave Regina one of her looks after the comment but didn't bother replying. Sherlyn took the helm and stated "then that is a technique you can pursue. Sit down together with pens and paper, maybe even watercolours if you feel like certain colours might help, for example the colour of the boy's hair. Think about what it was with that boy that caught your attention and try to draw that. It doesn't have to be an artistic masterpiece, it just has to get your minds working in the right direction. This boy might well be the key that unlocks all your lost memories."

"Aye, but what about me?" Killian Jones mumbled and Regina actually felt slightly sorry for him when she saw the pain and worry on his face and realised that they had all forgotten that he was there.

Sherlyn clearly felt the same way as she reached out a hand and patted Killian on the shoulder briefly before saying "if Emma and Regina get their memories back they can enlighten you about who you are and probably trigger your memories. But I understand how frustrating it must be that Regina and Emma have a lead and that it doesn't include you. Perhaps you would like to stay on and discuss your feelings and some possible methods of triggering your memories? I fear that we might have gotten sidetracked into discussing yours and Emma's relationship when you were both here. If it's only you we can delve deeper into what might work for you."

"That makes total sense. We can head home and start on the drawing and you can stay here and explore your own options, Killian," Emma burst out a little too enthusiastically and a little too relieved.

Regina hid a smile at the blonde's obvious dodging of yet another counselling session where she would get blamed for her emotional distance and lack of interest in Killian's needs.

Killian looked at her quizzically but as he moved his gaze to the therapist who seemed in such complete control he relaxed visibly and grudgingly agreed.

 

* * *

 

 

They were standing in the elevator now, on their way up to their apartment with a shopping bag filled with art supplies and Regina mumbling that this craft session was most likely a waste of time. Just as they were hitting the button to go up, a man stopped the elevator doors from closing and squeezed himself in through them. It turned out to be the bookworm neighbour with an interest in Regina. He was a tall man, broad shouldered and coldly handsome in an almost statuesque way.

He wore steelrimmed glasses and designer stubble and Emma thought he looked like he just stepped out of an ad for exclusive glasses. Emma frowned at the way he kept raking his eyes over Regina's body, granted the tight grey dress that Regina was wearing was very flattering and heavens knew that Emma had a hard time keeping her eyes of the brunette's body too, but there was a difference in an involuntary glance and then respectfully looking away and the obvious objectification that the man next to them was engaging in.

Clearly it was bothering Regina too as she put the coat that she had draped over her arm earlier back on and then very unambiguously sought eye contact and when she got it she said "oh hello, Thom. I thought it was you but I couldn't tell without your eyes meeting mine" in clipped tones. Emma grinned and enjoyed watching the man blush crimson while staring down at his hands.

He apologised and with a school boy smile, which Emma had to admit was quite cute in a studied way, he asked if Regina had liked the last book he leant her. She said she had and while they discussed the plot Emma tuned out. As the elevator was closing to their floor Emma snapped back into the conversation when she heard the words "maybe I can take you out to dinner tomorrow and we can discuss it further?"

Emma knew that Regina had no interest in this man, they had discussed him before and every time Emma teased Regina about her dating their neighbour she looked as if Emma had offered her a mouldy apple.

But Thom stared so eagerly and happily at Regina that it was obvious that a simple "no thank you" from the red lips would not end the discussion. Emma had no doubt that Regina could handle this man, nor any other man who might not want to take no for an answer. But the thing was that she didn't want Regina to have to. She felt this unreasonable need to save Regina from the bother of going through the obvious stages: kind first decline, more acerbic second decline and then either a biting and cruel comment or a well formed fireball to end the discussion for good. But Regina was tired and she shouldn't have to deal with this now, nor should she have to end their little book club chats in the elevator just because she was irresistible to men.

Before Emma had time to stop herself from doing something so incredibly stupid she said "no, she's with me".

Both Thom and Regina whipped their heads in Emma's direction and stared at her, he was staring open mouthed and Regina's eyes seemed to be screaming questions in Emma's direction. Still, Emma had started this and there was no going back now. She boldly continued, "she's not available for dates, so you might want to keep the book discussions to the odd meetings in the elevator, you know?"

He looked incredibly confused. "Oh. Um, I thought you were involved with that guy with a hook instead of a hand?"

Emma felt a cold tingle down her spine, what had she gotten herself into? She cast a quick glance at Regina to see if she was going to get any help from her but Regina just stared at her with an amused and challenging look, as if to say…  _go on, how are you going to get out of this?_

Emma felt her palms sweating a bit but the look from Regina had steeled her, she had something to prove now. She gave the man a cocky smile and said "yeah, he's mine too. They're both mine."

Regina stood up straighter and tensed visibly, she was bristling at not just being  _someone's_  but also supposedly sharing a lover with a leather-clad drunkard.

Emma had rustled her now and she felt her jaw clench. Emma had just been helping out, but saying that she  _belonged to her_  and indicating that she was merely a part of a very small and odd harem was a step too far. Regina would make her pay for that, and she knew just the trick.

Staring at Thom she smiled sweetly but seductively and in her most low, sensual voice she purred "that's right, I'm hers" while placing her hand on Emma's side and caressing it all the way up to her abdomen, stopping it just below Emma's right breast and holding it there firmly and possessively. This meant that she was behind Emma now, her front pushed tightly against the back of Emma's side. Regina was fully aware that Emma must feel her breasts pushing into her and decided to make the blonde even more uncomfortable by kissing her cheek tenderly and briefly nuzzling into her blonde hair. This was nearly a disastrous mistake as Emma's hair smelled fantastic and Regina now had to fight the urge to bury her face in it and sniff it.

Emma's body temperature was always higher than Regina's but the comparative chill of the brunette's hand wasn't what made Emma so acutely aware of the elegant hand on her body, it was how firmly Regina pressed it against her and that there seemed to be so much meaning in the touch. It felt so different to when Killian touched her and for a moment Emma forgot to breathe. Regina's touch always felt nice, soft and never intrusive, but right now it made Emma feel like she had a strangely wonderful fever. There was no actual magic involved but still the touch made her feel powerful and fully under Regina's control at the same time.

Regina leant in to nuzzle Emma's hair again and Emma froze in panic as she thought about how to respond. She could hear Thom swallow audibly and then the tell-tale  _BING_  of the elevator arriving on their floor. Unsure of what to do Thom just waved awkwardly at them and walked swiftly to his door. As soon as he was out of sight Regina removed her hand from Emma's chest and hissed "get inside so we can discuss why you are suddenly claiming that I am part of your staff of concubines!"


	7. A concubine, a drawing and a name

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: I'm back from my Easter trip now so I can finally reply to more reviews and start updating this fic at my usual tempo. Just please don't guilt trip me if I miss out on posting every single day. These chapters are longer than the ones in my other fics so I might not post more than three times a week or so. Thanks for reading!

Emma ran her hand through her blonde tresses, making them helplessly tangled in her frustration. "Look, I just wanted to help, ok?"

"Oh, so you doubted that I could handle a single  _non-magical_  man myself?" Regina asked with a quirk of her perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"Well no. I just didn't want you to  _have to_. So I thought I would step in and help. I just... hadn't thought about that he had obviously seen me with Killian", Emma replied in a whining voice.

"He is rather memorable with that hook and the daytime drinking, even in this place which seems to have lots of shady characters", Regina concluded with a shrug.

"Killian is not shady. He's just... different. You don't actually like him, do you?" Emma barked at the haughty brunette.

"Don't change the subject. I am still extraordinarily curious about why you found it acceptable to refer to me as  _yours_  and hint that you had a stable of, if not tall, then at least dark and handsome, lovers?", Regina snarled with a look that could just as easily been rage as the pretence of rage.

Emma furrowed her brow and took a deep breath as she wondered if the brunette was really angry or if she was toying with her.

"Well, um... you are mine in a way. As in that you're my friend", Emma tried in panic and added her best puppy eyes.

"Nice try, Miss Swan", Regina growled with an eye roll.

Emma blinked a couple of times. "Huh?"

"What? Why are you staring at me like that?" Regina snapped.

"You called me  _Miss Swan_ ", Emma replied quizzically.

"Oh. Yes, I suppose I did. Well then, we either know your last name or you and I have very strange nicknames for each other back home", Regina said with a pensive look.

"What? You think I call you Miss Goose? Or Miss Chicken"? Emma asked with a frown.

Regina glared daggers at her. "I think if you attempted to call me Miss Goose I would turn your skin inside out."

Emma looked at the fury in the chocolate-brown eyes and hastily nodded. "Yeah, I kinda think you would. Right... I guess my name is Emma Swan. You know that sounds really familiar! I'm surprised I remembered my first name but not my last name."

"I assume that it is connected with how often you hear your name. I wager that people call you Emma more than they call you Emma Swan. It is a bit peculiar though as I thought we were closer than calling each other by our titles and last names", Regina said and looked slightly crestfallen.

Something in Emma wanted to scream  _of course we are, do you have any idea how much you mean to me_? But she stopped herself as she had no idea what Regina did actually mean to her, in this place or any other.

Instead Emma cleared her throat and said "well, look at that. We're already making progress. I have a last name and we haven't even started to try to draw the kid!"

Regina dipped her head in acknowledgement and muttered "in light of that good news I will let the attempt to pass me off as some sort of  _sexual pet_  go but rest assured, Miss Swan, if you keep trying to  _help_  by claiming ownership of me I will have to take  _drastic measures_."

Regina walked over to the refrigerator and began to make sandwiches with some leftover chicken and some lettuce.

Emma looked puzzled. "What are you doing?"

"I am creating something called  _sandwiches_  by assembling bread and other food products in a sort of stack. With this I am hoping to achieve an Emma Swan who doesn't start whining that she's  _starving_  in about ten minutes. If you make coffee we can also avoid the headache I seem to be getting and then, while we eat this little feast, we can begin the probably pointless craft session", Regina replied acerbically.

Emma sighed at the sarcasm but as usual was not offended. Anyway, she had to admit that she could eat and yeah, coffee would be nice. Whoever this kid was, Regina had to be its parent, she was way too good at this mothering thing not to be.

_But if she is the mom, what does that make me?_  Emma wondered as she measured out the ground coffee. Suddenly distracted, she stared at the colour of the fragrant powder and mused that it was almost the same colour as Regina's hair. Emma frowned and thought,  _why the hell can't I think straight tonight? What's wrong with me?_

"Are you alright, dear?" Regina asked as she watched Emma stare at the coffee granules as if they kept some deep dark secret from her.

"Huh? Ah, yeah. I'm fine, just thinking about... hair colour", Emma replied distractedly.

Regina quirked an eyebrow at her and was just about to ask what that was supposed to mean when she noticed that Emma wasn't making eye contact but instead seemingly inspecting the hair that was tucked behind her own ear. Regina looked at the coffee powder and at Emma who seemed to be... was she... Blushing?

Regina felt her stomach filling with warmth as she realised that there was a big chance that Emma was thinking about her hair and that judging by that blush, the thoughts were in her own favour. She smiled to herself and made a point of running her delicate fingers through her brunette tresses as obviously as she could.

Emma looked away with a frown and continued making coffee and suddenly Regina felt unsure of Emma's thoughts again. Maybe Emma's comparison with her hair and the coffee hadn't been favourable? Or maybe it had just been a neutral observation. But then why the blush? Regina banished the unsolvable thoughts from her mind and continued with the sandwiches.

A while later they were seated at the table. The sandwiches were eaten and most of the coffee drunk. Emma was sloshing around the remaining drops in her mug and staring at the empty white paper in front of her. Regina was busy drawing with a pencil on her own piece of paper.

Emma looked over to see how much progress the brunette was making and soon saw that Regina was actually quite good at this, as appearing from the tip of the serious woman's pencil was the figure of a boy somewhere between childhood and teen. Emma squinted at the upside down drawing and mumbled "his nose is wrong". She got up and walked over to Regina to peer at the drawing from the right direction. Leaning over the brunette she repeated "the nose is wrong, I think it's too small?"

Regina turned around slowly and glared at Emma. "I don't see you making any more progress over there, Miss Blank Paper."

Emma held up her hands and snapped "hey, don't be so touchy. I just want to help!"

"Yes, we both know how well things turn out when you  _help_ ", Regina muttered and returned to her drawing.

Normally very good with dealing with Regina's comments, Emma couldn't quite swallow this one. The truth was that she was feeling frustrated with her lack of progress at drawing but also the lack of memories being triggered. Sure, she had a feeling that Regina got the boy's nose wrong, but so far that was all she had. So she did what she knew she shouldn't do... she lashed out.

"Look, I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of me getting that guy off your back? Surely it's better that some chisel-chinned bookworm thinks I'm screwing you  _and_  Killian than that he keeps trying to get between your legs?!"

Regina glared at her, eyes glittering with rage and nostrils opening slightly, and suddenly Emma got a quick image of Regina storming towards her on a lawn next to a tree. In the memory Regina had shorter hair and was wearing a grey dress but it was the same look of fury and... some kind of thrill at being challenged, maybe? Just as soon as the image had appeared, it was gone.

"What does or does not happen between my legs is none of your business,  _Miss Swan_. Unless this is your clumsy way of telling me that you want it to be your business? Because if this is your idea of wooing a woman I can tell you that it is horrendously substandard!" Regina hissed.

Emma experienced the smallest pang of fear at the dangerous look in Regina's eyes but then she felt her heart strengthen and the blood sing in her veins as she barked back, "you wish! I've got someone to go between  _my_   _legs_ , remember? I'm not the one sleeping in a cold, lonely single bed every night!"

"Rather a single bed than one that contains that smelly, alcohol-drenched man-child, who from the sounds of things doesn't even do a very good job at keeping you satisfied", Regina snarled as she stood up to come face to face with Emma.

Emma stepped closer so that she was right in Regina's personal space and growled "oh yeah? What the hell do you know about keeping me satisfied, sister?"

Regina huffed incredulously as she forced her body to not respond to the feel of Emma's sweet breath on her face. "Oh trust me, I'd know enough to keep you glued to those sheets and screaming my name,  _dear_ ", Regina said with a superior smirk which bordered on a snarl.

Emma opened her mouth to reply just as there was the sound of a key in the door. Killian was home. Regina growled in anger and picked up her drawing, crumpled it into a ball and stormed off to her bedroom in swift but measured steps.

Just as Killian came in through the door, Emma picked up the crumpled piece of paper and squeezed it in her hand. She felt so confused and strangely, she found herself wanting to run after Regina to talk about it and not to her boyfriend who was walking towards her with a loving smile.

* * *

It was a few hours later and Emma and Killian had just gone to bed. Killian had been happy but tired ever since he came home from his session with Sherlyn. Emma knew she should ask him how it went but she was too busy brooding over what had happened with Regina and the failed attempts at triggering their memories. As he kissed her goodnight and turned over to fall asleep, her thoughts were not in that room. Instead they flitted between Regina in the room next to them and the crumpled drawing of the boy that Emma had un-crumpled and left by the coffee maker for Regina to find tomorrow morning.

As Emma closed her eyes and hoped for sleep, the drawing appeared in her mind and surprisingly she found that she could recall every single pencil stroke. She kept tracing the drawing with her mind and then it came to her, one single fact. One fact that was crystal clear and that seemed to mean  _everything_. Her eyes opened immediately and she scrambled out of bed and hurried over to Regina's door to quietly knock.

A collected and instant reply from within the room showed that Regina hadn't been sleeping either. "If you are here to apologise, Emma… I suggest you save it for tomorrow."

Emma didn't bother correcting Regina's assumption but just barged into the room instead. She rushed over to Regina's bed and sat on the edge of it. The reading light and the opened book which lay in Regina's lap showed that the brunette had been sitting up and reading since retiring to her bedroom after the argument. Clearly she had prepared for bed though as she was without makeup and dressed in a burgundy silk pyjamas.

Regina merely stared surprised at Emma as the blonde sat down on the edge of the bed. Emma looked straight into the chocolate-brown eyes and quietly said "I remembered his name. His name is Henry."

Speechless, Regina looked back at Emma's sea-green eyes, which were brimming with wetness but opened wide, for a few seconds before trying the name out. "Henry", Regina whispered, tasting the name and feeling it cause a familiar warmth in her chest. She looked deeply into Emma's emotion-filled eyes and reflexively put her hand on the blonde's cheek as she whispered it again with a smile, "Henry."


	8. Legwork and the wrong neighbourhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Have you guys heard of the SwanQueen convention which was recently announced for August 2016? If not, check out SQCon2016 on Twitter or Swan Queen Convention on facebook for more information. I'm not involved with the organisation but I really hope to attend and to see many of you there!

Emma was taking her usual morning walk to try to stretch and strengthen her leg. As her feet hit the cold, dark pavement on the foggy morning she was thinking about last night, about the name coming to her and about Regina's cool hand on her own overheated cheek. Obviously she had left the room shortly thereafter, mainly because Killian woke up and came looking for her but also because there wasn't really much more to say.

She didn't know why really, but she felt so damn guilty. She felt guilty for the touch of Regina's hand on her cheek, she felt guilty for the odd incident with them and Thom in the elevator and she felt guilty for wanting to talk to Regina just as much as she wanted to avoid Killian these days. In general she just felt guilty for how she was treating Killian, she never meant to exclude him but somehow she always ended up doing it.

She had to treat him better she decided, she had to make more of an effort to make their relationship work. While pondering it, she walked too fast and much too far and suddenly found herself in a strange and quite rough-looking neighbourhood. She looked at the nondescript tall buildings, all glass and grey stone, and tried to judge from what direction she had come. It all looked the same to her and she placed her hand on her forehead in a gesture of frustration at her own carelessness.

The fog was slowly lifting around her and revealing the morning sky in its shades of blue and purple. Emma considered getting her phone out of the pocket of her brown leatherjacket to call Regina and admit that she had gotten lost but then she stayed her hand. No, having Regina as her go-to-solution for everything was just what she should be stopping, no matter how easy it was to cling to the capable brunette in this confused mess of memory loss and a foreign place.

Suddenly a young woman in a tatty black coat walked around the street corner and stopped to study Emma. The woman cocked her head to the side and grinned predatorily at Emma before speaking. "Well now, what have we here? You're not from around here, are ya, sweetcheeks? No one here would have those fancy boots or that sexy jacket, real leather isn't it? I bet you have some money on you, precious. Why don't you hand it over?"

"No thanks. I'm kinda using it myself", Emma said and looked at the woman without challenging her but still showing with her body language that she was no easy target.

The young woman laughed and Emma could see that her eyes looked strangely translucent, an effect that was increased by the blue facial tattoos that lay like a mask around the girl's upper face. She wondered if the stranger was high on something.

"Look, lady… I don't want to ruin your day here but the fact is that I have a knife and you have money. In this part of the town that means you hand over the currency and I let you keep your blood on the inside of that cute body. 'kay?"

Emma shook her head, more out of annoyance at the situation than as a response to the woman in front of her. Shaking her hands out Emma warned "Actually, I've got magic, so I suggest you go home and we pretend this never happened. If not, I will knock you out before you have time to reach that knife and then I'll wait here until the cops come to take you away…  _'Kay?_ "

The woman in the ragged black coat stared at Emma, evaluating the threat of the beautiful blonde. Then she grinned again and reached for a long, slim knife sticking up from her boot. But Emma was faster and shot out a magic volley of white light that knocked the young woman far way and down on the cold pavement. The only thing that didn't go to plan was that the fall didn't knock her assailant out and so the girl got up while screaming in pain and annoyance and took off running back around the corner she had come from.

Something in Emma's instincts made her start chasing the young woman and it wasn't until they had rushed down three fog-covered streets that Emma finally listened to her damaged leg which was throbbing with pain and treating to give out under her.  _Shit, I've really messed this damn leg up_ , Emma thought as she sank to the ground next to a large white mailbox. Now she had to ring Regina.

Grimacing at the scolding she was about to get she picked up her phone and found Regina under the last dialled numbers. Only two rings went through until Regina picked up and then it was time for Emma to swallow her pride and ask Regina to come pick her up.

* * *

She was sitting in the backseat now, next to Killian who was holding her and kissing her hair. Regina looked at them in the rear view mirror until Emma looked back and locked eyes with the clearly worried driver. "Why didn't you just call the police? They could have picked you up and taken you to the station to hear your story and then driven you back home!"

Emma didn't know what to say. That was obviously what she should have done.

"I-I just… didn't want all the fuss. I'll have something to drink and a short rest when we get back to the apartment and then I'll call them", Emma muttered.

Regina gave her a long worried glance before sighing and starting the car to drive them home. Through the pain and the humiliation Emma had time to wonder at that Regina hadn't told her off for being stupid.

* * *

When they were back home Killian insisted on carrying Emma into the elevator and then holding her in a fireman's grip as they rode up to their floor. Emma looked straight ahead and made eye contact with Regina and found the enigmatic brown eyes filled with worry and affection. It hit her heart more heavily than Killian's gentlemanly carrying her around and once again she felt guilty that her heart and mind seemed to pull her more towards the attractive dark-haired woman than the attractive dark-haired man.

The elevator doors opened and before they had time to step out they could see Thom watching them from the doors. He took in Killian carrying Emma and Regina and Emma looking at each other soulfully and decided to wait until they had left the elevator before getting in.

Ignoring him, the three of them walked into their apartment. As Killian placed Emma on the sofa the blonde gave a loud, desperate groan at the pain in her leg. It was pulsating even worse now and she knew that no painkillers would dull it enough to make it even mildly bearable.

Regina rushed towards her but stopped just before she made contact. She placed her hands safely behind her back to keep from caressing Emma's hair or holding her hand as she mumbled "let me know if there is anything I can do to help."

"Aye, that goes for me too, love", Killian added as he crouched down next to the sofa and looked pitifully at Emma.

Emma sighed. "Actually there is."

"Really? Name it!" Killian boomed proudly.

"Um, no… Thanks, but I meant Regina", Emma had to admit with that by now familiar pang of guilt and a sad smile at Killian.

Emma looked down and grimaced. "Could you… I mean, would you mind just healing the damn thing?" Emma asked without making eye contact with the brunette.

"Are you sure that is wise? The doctors warned us against trying that, we don't know how stable my magic is after the memory loss or what damage it might cause if I fail, remember", Regina warned with pursed lips and a furrowed brow.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. But I trust you and let's face it… you seem to be more in control of your magic than anyone here in Culltown is. Just try it and if you completely mess it up I bet it won't be much worse than it is right now" Emma replied through gritted teeth. The pain just kept on getting worse and by now she was really fighting not to scream.

Regina took in how pale Emma was and how her beautiful features were contorted in pain and quickly agreed. "Alright, if you are willing to risk it, we will try it. Pull up your trouser leg."

"I can't", Emma replied with a wince. "These jeans are too tight, I'd have to take them completely off and that would hurt like hell. Just, you know… make them magically disappear off me like you did with that scarf I borrowed from you without asking last week."

Regina tried to hide her shock at the idea of magically removing Emma's trousers and just dumbly nodded before waving her hand to suddenly reveal large expanses of Emma's creamy skin and a pair of skimpy grey panties with lace trim. Regina couldn't help but stare and after a while even Killian seemed to notice and cleared his throat demonstratively. Regina shook herself out of her inappropriate drooling and excused it by muttering "sorry, it's just that I think those are mine" while pointing in the general direction of the underwear. Killian just nodded, relieved that there was a simple explanation but Emma looked quizzically at Regina and might have braved a smug smirk at the obvious lie if she wasn't racked with pain.

Regina went over and hesitated for a moment before putting her hands on the parts of Emma's legs that she knew was the root of the problem. Emma watched the delicate hands resting just above her skin and saw that they were trembling slightly, the sight of it distracted her from her pain for a moment and she found herself wanting to take those hands in her own and tell Regina that everything was ok but then her leg gave another chilling burst of pain and all other sensations and thoughts left Emma's head.

Regina saw the blonde's agony and ignored her own hesitation. She placed her cool and still slightly trembling hands on the heated skin and focused her magic on deep healing. It took a long time as the injury was so extensive and based in two different locations. Regina made a concerted effort to not touch Emma more than she had to, she couldn't stand the idea of taking advantage of Emma even though the soft, warm skin was extremely tempting.

Emma's laboured breathing calmed more and more as the treatment went on and Killian went to get her some cold water to drink while Regina worked on her leg. Soon the pain was near gone and Emma had to drag her gaze away from Regina's beautiful features arranged in concentration and say "that's feeling a lot better, thanks."

Regina looked up at her, taking her time so that her eyes could rake over the naked thighs and the grey panties before traveling up to the sea-green eyes. "Try to move it", she said with her husky voice lower than usual.

Emma straightened her naked leg and it brushed past Regina's arm where she sat crouched down on the floor in front of the sofa.

"Sorry", Emma apologized at the accidental touch.

Regina had flinched at the touch and she was now trying to control her suddenly increased heartbeat. "That's fine, Miss Swan. Just focus on trying out the leg", she muttered so low that Killian couldn't hear it. For some strange reason neither of them had wanted to mention to Killian that they had discovered Emma's last name.

"It seems fine", Emma breathed with an impressed look on her face.

Killian hurried over to help Emma up and with his aid she managed to stand. Emma chuckled and muttered "how about that. It's a bit sore but other than that it feels totally healed!"

"Look like we shouldn't have listened to the doctors", Killian mumbled as he watched Emma's calf and thigh muscles engage and flex where she stood.

Regina on the other hand was watching Emma's face which was lit up with joy and relief at the lack of pain. Emma looked back at her and trilled "thank you!"

Her bliss was infectious and soon all three of them were smiling. Regina felt a tug in her heart as she realised that she wanted to step forwards and embrace Emma but couldn't. Instead she tried to convey all her care in her tone of voice as she quietly said "you're most welcome."


	9. Hands on the gear stick and a poignant question

They were in the car once more, this time returning from the police station where Emma had given her statement and reported the attempted robbery.

The mood in the car was tense and the silence hung heavy and menacing. Emma and Killian had just had another fight, this time about that Emma had attempted to chase the knife-wielding assailant and the fact that she had waited to contact the police. This last point had been brought up as the gum-chewing officer they spoke to admitted that there was very little they could do as the girl had probably skipped town or at least altered her appearance, as Culltown-criminals tended to do when spotted, by now.

Regina had to admit that Killian did have a point but she also knew that Emma had reacted on instinct and didn't really need to be scolded about it, she wished she could suggest that Killian allowed Emma to be an independent adult who could deal with the consequences of her own mistakes, but she knew she had to stay out of this.

Suddenly Emma broke the silence and when she did she very clearly directed her words at Regina and not Killian. "You know, now that my leg is fixed I could take the test to get my Culltown driver's license. The instructor at the centre did say that I showed signs of having driven cars before."

Regina tensed her grip on the wheel slightly and avoided looking at the blonde who was sitting in the seat next to her, her first thought was that Emma wouldn't need her as much anymore if she could drive.

"Of course. I'm sure it will be a relief to not have me drive you everywhere," Regina replied with a pinched, faked smile and changed gears.

"Yeah. Well, I mean that it will be a relief that you don't HAVE TO drive me. I'm sure I'll miss having such a safe driver as my private chauffeur", Emma said with a smirk.

Regina started slightly at the compliment but felt her lips arrange into a smile without her being able to stop them. The surprise she had felt at the kind comment was nothing to the shock of what happened next, suddenly she felt Emma's warm hand on top of her own on the gear stick as Emma mumbled "no really, I'm grateful for all the times you have driven us to therapy and all the times you've driven us to go shopping or just picked us up from wherever. Thanks."

"Yes, thank you Regina. Maybe you shouldn't be so quick to try and use that leg though, Emma love? I'm sure Regina doesn't mind driving us until you make sure that it has healed properly", Killian added from the backseat.

His words grated on Regina who once again wished that he would let Emma make her own decisions. "Actually, if Emma wants to use her leg then that is probably just good for it. She needs to use the muscles to regain full strength in them, and after all, she would only be driving a car, not running a marathon."

Emma stifled a snicker at the annoyance in Regina's voice and gave the brunette's hand a quick squeeze on top of the gear stick before removing her hand. While she felt deprived at its removal, Regina had to admit that Emma's hand had lingered a little too long for it to be normal for two friends who usually weren't so physical.

The brunette couldn't stop herself from casting a glance at the warm hand which now rested in the blonde's own lap and wonder what it would feel like to hold that hand in hers. Then she cursed herself for this ridiculous behaviour, she was a grown woman and not some lovesick young girl. In her usual measured tones Regina said, "we can have some reminding-driving lessons before you contact an official instructor if you'd like."

Emma watched her and gave a sincere smile before saying, "I'd like that. I mean they say it's all muscle memory, and they did decide that your grasp of what was or was not allowed in traffic coincided with Culltown regulations, so I'm sure practising with you would help."

Killian snorted. "Are you two sure that is a good idea? You might have some sort of misunderstanding and start sniping at one another."

"What, like you and me?" Emma asked coldly.

Silence filled the car again. Finally Regina discreetly cleared her throat and said "we can go out for a test drive tomorrow night if you'd like, Emma. I believe you don't have a therapy session tomorrow?"

Emma smiled at her again and it tugged at Regina's heart. "No, we have one tonight but not tomorrow. Yeah, I'd like that a lot."

Killian snorted quietly but didn't comment any further and so the rest of the ride home was silent.

* * *

Killian and Emma were in their therapy session now and Emma had just finished telling Doctor Brown about Regina's drawing and that it had managed to shake loose the name of the boy in her mind.

"I don't know. It's strange, it's like I almost remember him. It's like when you are trying to think of a word and it feels like it's on the tip of your tongue but you just can't get to it! Regina feels the same and it's driving us both crazy", Emma said with a frown.

Sherlyn Brown nodded pensively. "Well with retrograde amnesia patients often don't recover their memories, as I have mentioned before, so the fact that you have unearthed this much so quickly is a good sign. Just keep trying to prod that part of your mind, try the drawing technique again perhaps? Or just continue to discuss the boy, this Henry, with Regina as much as you can."

Emma nodded. "Oh, yeah... actually I did have another memory. When I was arguing with Regina I remembered that we had argued like that before. We were on a lawn next to a tree and she came walking really quickly towards me in a really nice grey dress, then she got right into my personal space and we fought. Is it a good sign that I am remembering stuff like that? I mean, it wasn't a very useful memory."

Sherlyn looked at her quietly for a while. "Are you sure that it wasn't a… as you say useful… memory? It seems like it was significant to you."

"How do you mean?" Emma asked.

Sherlyn looked from Emma to Killian and then back again. "Maybe you can stay behind for a minute or so after the session and we can discuss it? Right now I think we need to see if Killian has made any progress?" Sherlyn said in her professional voice as she gave Killian a brief smile.

"I… I don't really have that much progress to speak of, alas. I tried changing my diet like we discussed. Less alcohol and more fish, spinach, blueberries and avocados which Regina has been putting in our dinners and on the upcoming shopping lists", Killian trailed off.

He looked down at his hook before continuing. "I've tried to remember what happened to my hand like you suggested, but nothing has surfaced. It's like my memories are all on the bottom of the sea and I can't dive down to fetch them."

Suddenly Emma felt that horrible rush of deep guilt again. She should have asked him how he was getting on and she should have been helping him recover his memories but he… just felt so distant to her, even when he slept right next to her or held her in his arms.

She chewed the inside of her cheek and then something came to her. "…the bottom of the sea. Killian! Do you realise that you talk about the sea and ships a lot? Whenever you describe something you mention stuff like that. What if you're a sailor or a fisherman or something?"

Killian looked sceptically at her and then quizzically at Sherlyn who drummed her fingertip on the bottom of her chin and murmured "she does have a point. Either that or you might have nautical interests or hobbies, or perhaps you grew up in an environment where the sea was often spoken of. I would suggest that you try to think about it, perhaps read books and watch movies with nautical themes. It could be a dead end of course but it is worth a try."

Killian gave a faint smile. "Aye, that it is. I think I'll take your advice. Oh, speaking of advice… Doctor Brown, Emma is considering trying to get a Culltown driver's license. Do you think that is wise?"

Sherlyn turned to Emma. "I don't see why not. Your implicit memory seems quite intact so you should be able to get back into driving again. Just be careful with your newly healed leg and listen to your instructor."

"Sure, but before I go to an instructor I am going to practice a bit with Regina. Just, you know, in an abandoned car park or something", Emma beamed.

Sherlyn cocked her head to the side and then gave Emma an enigmatic look. "I see. Well, I think that should be all for today. Emma, if you don't mind staying behind for just a moment and then you can both be on your way home before it starts raining again."

Killian got up to leave with a long gaze and a smile at Doctor Brown. As he walked out she called after him "remember, you'll want to add lots of B12, vitamin E and folate to your diet to help your brain."

"Aye, Doctor. I remember. Thank you", Killian replied with a little bow in her direction.

When he was gone Emma smiled nervously at the redhead. "So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about? I hope it won't take too long, Regina is waiting downstairs in the car."

Sherlyn Brown sighed slightly. "Yes, and that is partly what I wanted to talk to you about. Or should I say  _whom_ I wanted to talk to you about. Regina."

Emma's brow furrowed. "What about her?"

"When she joined our session I couldn't help noticing certain looks and body language that passed between you. That in combination with how much you talk about her and how your memories seem to be intertwined… I can't help but wonder what your feelings are for her?"

"My, um, feelings?"

"Yes", Sherlyn replied simply and crossed her legs.

"She's… well, she's a friend I think. I mean me, Regina and Killian have become quite close because we live together and we are all that we have, you know? We're kinda castaways here and the only connection we have to our old lives is each other."

"I'm hearing a lot about all three of you, but I am more concerned about you and Regina in particular. You are in a relationship with Killian and yet, you seem so much closer and more concerned about Regina. Have you thought about that?"

Emma thought about when she admired Regina's coffee-coloured hair, about their passionate fight and about this boy, Henry, that they seemed to share. She also remembered that when she needed someone, Regina was always the first thought in her head.

"I… I really don't know", Emma whispered and closed her eyes for a moment, suddenly a little dizzy.

"Well, I would recommend that you think about it. Killian feels very alone in your relationship and I am starting to wonder if that might be because your heart is somewhere else. Just remember, if it is with Regina… same-sex relationships are still frowned upon in some circles here in Culltown. You will have to tread carefully if you do discover that you and she have feelings for each other."

Emma stared at her wide-eyed and felt her heart thud hard in her chest. Could she really have those kind of feelings for Regina? And if she did, what did Regina feel?

Suddenly struck dumb, Emma just nodded gravely at Sherlyn and dazedly got up to leave the room.

Doctor Brown saw her out and as she closed the door behind the blonde she reminded her of the time of their next session and told Emma to be careful while practising her driving. Emma felt too shell-shocked to even reply as her fancy new boots drummed out her slow descent down to the car park where Killian and Regina were waiting for her.


	10. Sacrifice and safety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: Brace yourselves, this will be emotional.

Regina's brow furrowed, a muscle in her jaw twitched and her lips pinched together in a gesture of fear. She would never allow her face to show such obvious weakness if she had been awake, but she wasn't. She was deep in dreams and her hand was gripping a fistful of her pillow in an attempt to deal with this dream.

In the dream she was in a small town that she knew well. It was chilly and windy in the air but that felt familiar and to be expected. There were people everywhere and that was the problem, because as she walked down the street she could see them all staring at her. Hating her. She somehow knew that she had hurt them and disappointed them and that she could never atone for her crimes, that she could never truly make them forget what she had done or ever trust her.

In the middle of the road ahead of her Regina could see a big dark hole in the ground. It gaped ominously, like it was trying to swallow the entire town, but no one seemed to notice. They were all staring at her, judging her, fearing her. Mesmerised, she stared at the large chasm ahead and thought about leaping into it. If she just walked straight ahead she would fall in. No one would ever have to fear her and maybe the dark hole only wanted one sacrifice, maybe if she stepped into it, the hole would close and leave her town alone.

Suddenly it felt so right. Naturally she should sacrifice herself, they couldn't fear her then and it would bring her peace. The pain and the physical discomfort waiting in that pit, maybe even death, would sooth her aching soul. Being hurt would set her free, allowing her to sacrifice herself for the others would make the pain and confusion stop.

Then there was a sound, it was her name being called out by a distant voice. It was asking her to stay away from the hole, to wait until they could get to her. It was shouting that they wouldn't let her sacrifice herself.

Regina couldn't tell where the voice was coming from nor who it was. The voice was scrambled by the distance and the wind. It sounded higher in pitch than a man's though, so it was either a woman or a child. Regina wanted to listen to that voice, she wanted to stay and hear someone say that she could make them all love her in another way than pain and death. She wanted to be pulled back from the dark crevice so near her feet now, she wanted to be held and accepted. But her feet kept moving.

The chasm was so close now that Regina could feel the icy draft from it pulling at her and still she couldn't stop herself. The air was whirring with the sound from the black hole and Regina couldn't hear that distant voice anymore. She kept walking, her high heeled shoes nearing the edge of the hole but just as her first step down into the abyss was before her, she felt a slim hand on her stomach, pulling her back with a jolting movement.

The movement woke her as she had that feeling of falling that humans sometimes experience in their sleep. With a loud gasp she raised herself on her elbows and realised that her breathing was shallow and that her heart was pounding painfully in her chest. She felt dread, self-loathing and a feeling of absolute certainty in one thing, wherever her real home was – the people there hated and feared her. She had done violent and horrible things and no matter how she tried to atone, she could never shake her past.

She felt like something was gripping her chest, like a vice was squeezing her ribs tighter so she couldn't breathe and so her heart couldn't beat properly. What was she? Some sort of monster? A killer? Did they all really hate her?

She pulled herself up to sitting position, she had to calm herself before her heart palpitations had serious consequences. She stumbled out of the bed, getting her leg tangled in the duvet in her panic and nearly falling forwards towards the wall. She managed to steady herself and take a deep breath, when she had she asked herself the important questions…  _where are you going? Where can you possibly get away from this? Where can you find solace?_ Her heart seemed to answer for her as it filled her mind with the imagined scent of Emma's skin and the feel of the blonde's soft, warm skin. She wanted Emma. She wanted Emma to hold her and make some stupid joke which would make it all seem less… dreadful. Less real. Less insurmountable.

She sat back down on the bed and couldn't stop herself from crying. She cried from the shock of realising that who she really was, no matter the details, was someone dangerous and horrible and she cried because the only person who could make it feel bearable, at least for tonight, was out of her reach. The blonde was there, just on the other side of the wall, sleeping peacefully in her beloved's arms. Emma was safe, calm, loved and heterosexual… all the things that Regina now knew for certain that she was not. And so she cried with hopelessness and loneliness and she felt like she would cry herself into oblivion, muffling her ugly sobs by pressing her hands to her tear-stained face.

* * *

Regina was wrong. Emma wasn't sleeping, she had spent the entire evening doing what Doctor Brown had requested and thought about her feelings for Regina. She had watched the brunette in the car on the way back and then throughout their usual evening routines, dinner, cleaning up, some television and then when Killian nodded off to sleep on the sofa, a game of chess.

Throughout all of it she had found herself being able to just sit there and happily watch the flawless brunette. Every gesture Regina did seem interesting and important and so did every word out of her mouth. Emma kept wondering what the other woman was thinking and feeling and as she did her hands scrunched into fists as she fought the voice in the back of her mind which was screaming  _isn't that what love is? The whole world is in monotone for you but this one person is in technicolour, isn't that love? What is this? Hero-worship? Friendship? A sick game your brain is playing? Or… love? What… what… what?_

In the end Emma had to force herself to look away, but even then she could feel Regina's presence, like a magnetic pull. A magnetic pull that effected her in ways that Killian never had, it frightened her now. Now that she had begun realising that it was there. Had it always been there? Had she been in love with this woman back were they belonged? What if it turned out that they were related or something?

When she had gone to bed and kissed Killian goodnight she had still felt her heart racing and her mind doing the same, she had realised that she couldn't trust or understand her emotions and she closed her eyes and quietly counted to 50. This was too much, she couldn't handle this. Suddenly Killian felt like a safe option, she didn't know what exactly she felt for him either but she knew that it never made her blood sing or her mind flame with fire like her confusing feelings for Regina did. She could  _handle_  being with Killian and so she decided that she had to give that a real chance.

She had to talk to him, lay all the cards on the table and show him that she was choosing him. She clenched her jaw and tried not to wonder if that was even possible, did she actually have a choice or was that magnetic pull choosing for her?

Earlier that night, after Regina had excused herself to go to bed and read her book, Emma had woken Killian up from his nap on the sofa and asked him to sit down and then she had begun the painful and awkward ordeal of quietly explaining her possible attraction to their flatmate. Killian had kept shaking his head, like a child refusing to believe his parents when they said that his goldfish had died.

In whispered tones she had tried to explain her confusion and her uncertainty of what her feelings were and what they meant. For some reason that had calmed the handsome man sitting opposite her, he had smiled sincerely and said "well, that's it. You just like lasses and let's be honest here, love, who doesn't? That's ok, as long as you like me too. I fact, I've got an idea on how we can test that theory! I'll keep it as a nice surprise for you!"

Emma should have listened to the warning bells going off at that but she felt that she had to try for his sake. She had hurt him so much with her inability to love him properly and they were all alone in this confusing place and she had been of no help to him, she owed it to him to give this relationship one last try. But inwardly she promised herself that if this unknown idea of his didn't work, she would end their relationship, even if it meant turning their shared apartment into purgatory with all the guilt and hurt feelings floating around 24/7.

So there she was. Killian was snoring next to her and Regina was probably sleeping in the other room and she was left alone with her conflicting feelings and a sense of dread. The last thing that she heard before finally drifting off into fitful sleep was a muffled sound from next door, she realised that it had been going on for a while but so quietly that she hadn't really registered it. She couldn't make out what it was and disregarded it as general noises that Regina was making in her sleep. Soon shallow sleep swallowed Emma and kept her until the sunrise woke her the next day.


	11. Strong coffee and Killian's solution

When Emma got up next morning, Regina was already sitting by the kitchen table. The brunette was listlessly drawing something on a piece of paper while finishing her black coffee.

"Morning", Emma greeted her.

"Yes, yes it is, Emma. Well deduced", was the acerbic response.

Emma glared at the other woman for her usual rudeness but her gaze changed when she took in the tired look on Regina's face and the unusual raspyness of the brunette's voice this morning.

Emma frowned. "Hey, are you ok?"

Regina looked like she was going to ask Emma to mind her own business but then she looked at the sea-green eyes meeting hers and was struck by the tenderness in them.

"Yes. Well, no. I had… nightmares", Regina replied in her usual clipped tones but still in that oddly broken, raspy voice.

Emma nodded, unsure of what to say, and poured herself some of the coffee Regina had made. She added some milk and watched it swirl into the pitch black liquid before stirring it and taking her first sip.

Emma coughed loudly and looked incredulously at Regina. "Christ, woman! How strong did you make this stuff? I've got milk in it and it's still stinging like acid."

Regina sighed anxiously and as she answered her voice broke slightly. "Sorry, as I said, I had nightmares and therefore not much sleep. I thought some extra strong coffee might manage to keep me functioning through the day. Just pour more milk into it! Or make some more yourself." The last words were spoken in anger but Emma soon realised that the older woman was desperately trying to hide that she was upset.

"Regina? Are you… are you ok?"

The brunette gave a mirthless laugh. "Does it matter? What would you do if I wasn't?"

"I… I… would try to help", Emma said feebly.

Regina looked up and her eyes were brimming with unshed tears. Emma felt like everything stood still for a moment. Regina crying? But she was the strong one, the collected and controlled one. What the hell could have made Regina this upset?

Emma walked over and crouched down next to Regina's chair, with no idea what she was going to do. This felt so awkward, Emma suddenly realised that she must not be all that used to physical contact or comforting sad people. She felt useless and wished that someone more nurturing was at hand, she realised that right now… nothing in the world mattered as much to her as making Regina feel better.

Emma made her voice soft and warm and put her hand over Regina's which was holding the pencil but had stopped drawing. "So…um… what are you drawing?"

Regina gave a tired smile. "The boy, that is to say  _Henry_. Look at his smile, does it remind you of something, or rather  _someone_?"

Emma craned her neck up and looked at the drawing with a concentrated frown. "Yeah, maybe."

Regina cleared her throat and tried to keep her tone light and neutral as she said "it's yours. I mean the smile looks identical to yours. First when I noticed that fact I thought my memory was playing tricks on me and that I was getting distracted from drawing  _him_  and drawing parts of  _you_  instead. But the longer I look at it, the more right it looks. I believe Henry has your smile."

Emma thought about the smile that she had spotted in the mirror once or twice and had to agree. "Yeah, it does look a bit like mine. Do you think I'm related to him?"

Regina brought her free hand over to Emma's face and cupped the blonde's chin to turn her face towards her own. "Emma, I think he's your son."

Emma couldn't help grinning proudly. Could that be true? Could she have a son?

Finally the blonde shook her head, but she made sure not to do it too much so that she lost the gentle touch of Regina's fingers. "No, I think he's yours. I thought about that the other day. You're so caring and good at being in charge, I think you're his mom."

Regina echoed Emma's proud grin but quickly hid it as if she was ashamed of her moment of joy. Emma wanted to coax the smile back and get rid of the deep sadness in the chocolate-brown eyes, so she added "and that kid is actually lucky to have you as his mom. You're kinda…  _great_." The last word came out as an embarrassed sigh followed by an almost apologetic smile, and it wound its way into Regina's chest and thawed some of the icy dread that had lodged there ever since the brunette had awoken from that horrible dream.

Regina couldn't help herself, she let the fingers under Emma's chin move slightly, caressing Emma's warm, soft skin under her perfectly sculpted jaw. Regina looked from the kind, green eyes down to the dimple just a couple of inches away from her fingers. She had seen that cute little dimple in Emma's chin before but now she had the strongest urge to kiss it that she had ever experienced. She wanted to be close to Emma, she needed it and so far the blonde wasn't stopping her.

Emma watched Regina's face as the brunette gazed tenderly at her features and finally focussed on her chin. Unconsciously Emma licked her lips, as if her brain was urging Regina to pay attention to them instead. It worked. Regina's gaze drew up to the pink lips which now glistened with moisture.

A sound so quiet that Emma wasn't sure if she had imagined it escaped from Regina's mouth. It sounded like a faint moan and it made Emma's heart race. Those elegant fingers were still caressing the skin under her chin and Emma wished they would travel lower and explore her neck and then her… chest.

Suddenly Emma panicked. This felt so good but so frightening, she once again had that sensation of a million thoughts and emotions crowding her brain. She couldn't tell which emotions for Regina stemmed from their real life and which ones stemmed from their existence here in Culltown. It was all too much too soon!

Regina saw the fear in Emma's eyes and worried that she had gone too far, she retracted her hand and quickly fastened it on her coffee mug to casually take another sip.

Emma stood up swiftly and cleared her throat before putting her hands in the back pockets of her jeans and then speaking.

"Um, so, about the driving lesson. Killian had something he wanted to do with me today but after that I'm all yours… I mean, I'll be free, I mean I can go out driving", Emma spluttered with her cheeks blushing crimson.

That wasn't lost on Regina and not for the first time the brunette wondered if Emma's uneasiness was due to her finding her attention uncomfortable or quite  _comfortable_. She couldn't stop herself from hoping that it was the latter with every fibre of her being.

"Of course. Just let me know when you are available and we'll start the process of getting you back behind the wheel someday. I hope that you realise that you won't be driving tonight though, Miss Swan?"

"Oh come on! Why not?" Emma whined loudly.

Regina suppressed a smile at Emma's childish impatience. "Because you don't have your license. I'll drive and I'll go through the different techniques and equipment and that way you will be more prepared when it comes to seeing an actual instructor. Culltown is very strict with its rules, you know that."

Emma pursed her lips and groaned "fine."

Then she picked up her coffee mug to go pour more milk in it. When she returned and sat down at the table Killian joined them. He was wearing his leather trousers but no top and Regina grumbled "would you please attempt to at least clothe yourself properly before stumbling around my clean kitchen like a hairy zombie?"

"Sorry, your Majesty. I didn't know there was a dress code", the bearded man said and headed for the cupboard containing mugs.

Regina looked up from her drawing and stared confusedly at Killian. Emma caught the look and asked Regina what was wrong.

Regina looked back at her with a stunned expression and mumbled "he called me  _your Majesty_."

"Yeah, pretty sure he meant that you were being a royal pain in the butt", Emma added nonchalantly.

But Killian stood like frozen with his hand on the cupboard handle. "No, love. I think I meant it, somehow. I… I think I used to call her that."

Emma gave a chuckle, shook her head and took a sip of her coffee, which was now 30% milk. "Ok, so are we saying that Regina was some kind of Queen back home?"

Regina sat still like a statue but Killian shook his head and laughed it off too. "No, of course not. I'll bet you anything she's an unyielding merchant's wife or a superior lady of a grand mansion or some such."

Emma stared at him and got a feeling she often did when speaking to Killian. "Are we speaking the same language here?  _An unyielding merchant's wife?_  I mean, if I were to guess I would use actual  _modern_  words like, you know, a lawyer or a CEO."

Regina furrowed her brow and muttered "now that you mention it, you do have a point, Emma. It does seem like the three of us have very varied vernaculars. Maybe we were raised in very different settings? For example, I am pretty sure that I was raised in a household where you would put clothes on to avoid showing your nipples to people trying to enjoy their morning coffee."

Emma laughed so hard she almost spat out the sip of coffee she had just taken. Killian on the other hand made a grimace at the brunette and grumbled "fine, as shielding my nakedness is more important to you than discovering who we are, I shall take my coffee back to the bedroom." As he walked off he picked up a bottle of alcohol and clearly that was the other part of his breakfast.

Emma had recovered from her laughing and now listened to the increasingly loud rumble of her stomach instead. Without the blonde needing to say anything Regina, who had returned to her drawing when Killian left, said "I baked some wholegrain bread this morning and put it in the bread bin. It's nothing extravagant but it should stop your stomach from making that infernal noise."

At the idea of Regina's freshly made bread, Emma jumped up and scurried over to the bread bin. Sneaking a stealthy look, Regina glanced up from her drawing and tried to contain her smile at Emma's enthusiasm. Once again the blonde had made her feel better, just by her mere presence.

* * *

Killian was striding down the street and Emma was walking next to him, she favoured the side where he still had his human hand ever since she had cut herself on the tip of his sharp hook when reaching for his hand on a late night walk.

Despite her long legs, Emma was just barely keeping up with Killian who seemed very eager for them to arrive at their destination. This worried Emma, she had good reason to mistrust his judgement in what she would or would not like after a few disastrous outings in the drug-fuelled, and sometimes quite morally bankrupt, Culltown. She still shuddered whenever she remembered that cinema he took her to that only showed porn movies and had plastic sheeting on the floors where the seats were.

"Killian, where are we going?"

"Well, as it is the middle of the day I know of only one place around here where we can find some good hunting ground", Killian grinned and looked for all the world like a little boy hurrying to show her his new toy.

Emma felt her stomach clench slightly at this, that feeling of dread just wouldn't leave her alone. "Hunting ground?"

Killian stopped and turned to face Emma, still with a proud smile on his face. "I've figured out how to see if you really do like lasses or if it is just you being confused. There's this bar just a block away which has a good turnout of women even in daytime. I go there sometimes when you are busy, just for a drink of course, and I have seen scores of fair lasses. A lot of them come in for a sandwich and a few drinks around early lunch time and most of them seem open to a little courting. Now, a blonde bombshell like you will sweep them off their feet in no time!"

Emma stared at him with fury blazing in her green eyes. "What? Are you out of your mind!?"

Killian looked puzzled. "Don't look so irate, love. I'm not suggesting that you find a female companion for the  _both of us_ , I mean for you to find a wench you like the look of and bed her. There's a bed and breakfast just two doors down from the pub. I'll wait in the pub for you and when you come back we can discuss whether it was your cup of tea or not!"

"How… what? WHAT!? Firstly Killian, I don't like that you know so much about where there are  _pretty lasses_  and nearby bed and breakfasts. Secondly, what made you think that I would just go pick up some random woman and seduce her to see if it is  _my cup of tea_? I'm in a relationship with you!"

Killian looked hurt and still quite puzzled. "But I wouldn't mind, it wouldn't  _mean_  anything, love. It's not like I'm suggesting you sleep with someone we know, like Regina, or even another man. It would just be purely carnal with a stranger of your own sex, just to see how your loins are girded."

Emma loudly exhaled and shook her head incredulously. She had to control her temper to keep from shouting at him that while she didn't remember specific details of their life before, she did knew that this wasn't behaviour that belonged in a healthy relationship. At least not unless it was something that both parties had agreed on from the onset of the relationship, Emma had nothing against the idea of open relationships or polyamorous ones, but that wasn't what  _this_  was.  _This_  just felt…. sordid somehow, it felt like Killian thought that another woman, especially one that Emma didn't know, wasn't a threat to him or their monogamous relationship, and THAT was pissing Emma off.

Killian noticed that the rage still flared in his girlfriend's eyes and he desperately tried to fix whatever problem they had stumbled upon this time. "Look, love. I did briefly consider taking you to Bottom's Up but after the last time I mentioned it and you spent thirty minutes talking about why strip clubs are problematic I haven't gone anywhere near the place!"

Emma snorted derisively. "Oh, how noble of you."

"Oh come now, love. You can see I'm trying, can't you? Let's go in and have a drink and you can have a look at the wenches in there and see how you feel. It's not healthy that you only spend time with me and Regina. That is probably why you think you might have feelings for her, because she is the only company besides me you have!"

Emma bit back the retort that he had even less friends as he didn't even have Regina. Then she thought about his knowledge about the bars around town, maybe he did meet more people than she did after all? Then she sighed to herself as she realised that he probably only went to the bars because he was lonely, because she kept freezing him out. Against her better judgement she nodded.

"Okay, I'll go in and look at some women and we'll have  _one_  drink. I make no other promises", she muttered and continued walking down the street. Killian smiled after her and thought that this would work.  _This will take her mind off that brooding, meddling Ms Perfect back at the flat,_ he thought to himself as he followed Emma and put his arm around her shoulders.

* * *

Back in the apartment, Regina was still drawing. She had finished the drawing of Henry and put it aside, planning to show it to Emma when the blonde returned home. Now she was drawing something else, something a lot less pleasant. She had allowed her hand total freedom and simultaneously occupied her mind with planning who did the housework this week and  _this_  was the result of it – a scruffy looking man drawn twice, first as a regular human and then as a human morphing into a rat. In the second drawing he was running towards a large swirling vortex and behind him was a neon sign, a sign that said  _Granny's diner_.


	12. The bar and the therapy

Killian pushed open the metal door of the bar and stood aside to let Emma in and with defiant strides Emma walked into the smoky room. She could see that Killian had been right, there was quite a lot of people in the bar despite the early hour.

In the background a song was playing, it was pounding with a loud bass, screeching guitars and a woman singing about someone setting her body free in a hoarse voice. The room smelled of alcohol and the strange perfume that Emma had noticed a lot of women in Culltown wore. Emma had asked Regina what the smell reminded her of when they had been out shopping and noticed the scent on many of the women around them. Regina had scrunched her nose up a little and then muttered "fennel or perhaps aniseed. It's an assault on the senses, I would stick with your usual lily perfume, dear."

Emma remembered being surprised as she had bought something lily-scented that she wore most days, but it wasn't perfume, it was her lotion. Sure, she did also use it as hand cream but still… it was a lot more subtle than perfume and Regina would have either had to get very close or really pay attention to pick up on the scent. She had just shaken it off at the time but now the idea of Regina paying so much attention to her scent captivated her.

"Love? Are you listening to me?" Killian asked with a concerned look.

"Oh sorry, I kinda zoned out there for a minute", Emma said uneasily and put her hands in the back pockets of her tight black jeans.

"Aye, I noticed. I was asking what you would like to drink?"

"Um, I dunno. I haven't really drunk anything else than wine and beer here. What about that ginger-spiced sugary stuff you always drink?"

"That kind of spirit is called _bite_  and it comes in different levels of sweetness. The one I favour is called Captain Morrison's sweetbite. Would you like a glass of that?" Killian asked as he perused the bottles lined up behind the bartender to ensure they had the brand in question.

Emma on the other hand was surveying the room and just mumbled "yeah, sure" in response.

Killian went over to the barkeep to order their drinks and Emma looked down on her clothes to judge if she was dressed correctly for this place. In her leather jacket, fitted plaid shirt and skin-tight black jeans she gauged that she looked casual enough considering the early hour but not like a total slob, and she had a strange feeling that she had used plaid shirts to try and pick women up before but then that could just as well have been a dream as a barely remembered fact from her old home.

Killian walked over with two thick-glassed tumblers filled with amber liquid and handed one to Emma. "Thanks", Emma mumbled and took a large gulp of her drink and felt it sting all the way down to her stomach and leave a cloying sweetness in its wake. It felt like a bad idea to drink this early in the day but if she was going to try this ridiculous idea of Killian's, she sure as hell wasn't going to do it sober.

"So, see anything you like?" Killian drawled with a smirk.

" _Anything_? Don't you mean  _anyone_? These are human beings, not leather jackets", Emma growled bad-temperedly.

Killian held out his hands in an apologetic gesture and did actually look contrite. "Of course! Do you see any lasses you like the look of?"

Emma took another gulp of her drink and continued looking around. There was a beautiful dark-skinned woman on the other side of the bar, she had one of the usual Culltown blue facial tattoos but unlike most others, this one was quite subtle and framed her face nicely. Emma watched her move and talk to the bartender and then frowned, that wasn't right, the woman moved too jerkily and clumsily.

Emma's gaze moved over to a blonde woman standing by the wall and talking to a red-headed friend, they both looked pretty and interesting but Emma guiltily realised that she wished they had fuller lips and more vibrant eyes.

Her gaze moved on again, like a searchlight desperately searching for its target, and it landed on a brunette just walking out from the bathroom.  _Now this is more like it_ , Emma thought and stood up a bit straighter. The brunette was wearing high heels, stockings and a pencil skirt topped with a fitted shirt and a tailored suit jacket. This woman was clearly working today and had come in for a sandwich and a relaxing glass of wine, she looked out of place in the setting but seemed comfortable enough.

Emma watched her walk over and felt the little hair on her arms and on the back of her neck stand up but then her heart sank. This woman wasn't right either, she had a lethargic, pale face which didn't interest Emma at all. Just as Emma sighed and prepared to force herself to keep looking, it hit her. She was looking for someone, just like she was meant to, but she wasn't looking for a stranger to test out her sexuality on.  _She was looking for Regina._

She gasped quietly and gripped her half-full tumbler tightly. As her brow knitted and her breathing grew rapidly hard and fast she backed up to the bar to steady herself.

"Love? Are you alright?" Killian's worried voice asked.

Emma looked at him confused and then shakily put her tumbler on the bar and stormed out into the fresh air and light. He drained his glass and put the empty tumbler next to hers and hurried after her. When he joined her outside her found her taking large gulps of air and looking slightly queasy.

"Hey, are you okay?" Killian asked tenderly as he put her hand on her shoulder.

"No. No, Killian… I'm not! Your little experiment failed", she burst out.

"Failed? You mean you didn't find any of the lasses attractive? Don't worry about that, there was only a few ladies in there. If we come back tonight it'll be packed and I'm sure you'll find someone to your taste", he soothed in a calm voice. This however just upset Emma more.

"No! You don't get it! You don't know what I did in there! I looked at all of them and I judged them for not being like… being like…  _her_ ", Emma groaned.

"Her?" Killian asked, knowing exactly who Emma must be referring to but refusing to acknowledge it.

" _Regina_ ", Emma breathed out reluctantly and took another desperate gulp of air.

Killian scrunched his hand into a fist, tightening it so much that his knuckles grew white and he clenched his jaw so tight that Emma thought she could hear his teeth creak against each other. When she looked at him she saw that his eyes were wet with tears but the words coming out of his mouth weren't furious insults or sad guilt-trips, he merely hissed "I'll be at Doctor Brown's. Sherlyn warned me that this might happen and said that if it did, I should come see her and not do anything rash."

Emma just nodded dumbly. She was angry at Killian for making her go hunting for girls but she was more angry at herself, she had been given this relationship that clearly  _the real her,_  the Emma back home, enjoyed and she had failed to keep it alive. She was meant to be a good person and to do the right thing but here… she hadn't managed it. Her love had been fickle and moved object somehow, moved to Regina with such power that no matter how Emma tried to not see it or feel it, it was always right there, pulsing in her blood. She felt disgusted by herself and strangely disappointed but she could almost hear a voice in her mind, a deep, rich voice telling her that she was being too hard on herself and that she was only human.

As she watched Killian storm off towards the part of town where Sherlyn Brown's office was she realised how much she wanted to hear that deep, rich voice in real life, she turned towards their apartment and let the longing for Regina speed her steps up.

* * *

When Emma threw open the door and hurried inside she realised that she had no idea what she was going to say to Regina, just that she needed to be with her. It didn't matter right now though as she couldn't see the brunette anywhere. She felt a brief chill in her chest at the idea that Regina might be out, she needed her company now and couldn't stand it if Regina was talking to Thom or even just out shopping.

It was on the sofa that she finally found the brunette, clearly Regina had been taking a nap and the sound of Emma coming in had begun to rouse the older woman from her rest. Laying gracefully on the sofa Regina stretched and reminded Emma of a cat. As the blonde thought about it, that image seemed to stick. There certainly was something feline about the elegant and poised woman in front of her. And like a cat Regina needed space, would not take orders and only showed affection on her own terms.  _Yep, definitely a cat_ , Emma thought and smiled. Suddenly a large amount of inappropriate jokes about pussycats entered her mind and she had to bury the thoughts to keep them from taking hold in her mind.

"Hey", she said softly to the gradually awakening woman.

Regina cleared her throat and seemed embarrassed to have been caught sleeping in the middle of the day. "Oh hello, sorry I thought you and Killian would be out for quite a while and so I thought I'd make up for my lack of sleep by closing my eyes for a few moments."

At the mention of Regina's eyes Emma couldn't help but look at them. Regina was blinking away sleep and adjusting her chocolate-browns to the daylight and Emma felt butterflies in her stomach when she noticed the sunlight painting amber flecks in the dark brown irises.  _Get a hold of yourself, Swan! No matter what emotions you have discovered, you can't just go jumping into this woman's arms, she might not feel the same_ , Emma's mind warned her.

Emma pulled her hand through her curled blonde tresses to give herself something to do and murmured "yeah, we had a change of plans. Well actually, he… rushed off to an emergency therapy session."

Regina looked at her with drowsy confusion and her sleep-hoarse voice asked " _emergency therapy_? What did you do to him? Did you finally tell him that moulding leather and stale alcohol doesn't count as cologne?"

Emma grimaced at her. "Pull your claws in, Regina. I… I kinda broke his heart."

Regina took in the devastated look on Emma's face and softly patted the seat next to her on the sofa while quietly saying "it looks like he is not the only one in need of an emergency chat, then. Sit down and tell me what happened?"

Emma nodded with a knitted brow and took the seat next to Regina. The sun shining in on the sofa had warmed Regina's skin and being so close Emma could smell Regina's perfume, warm spices and dark cherries filled the air around the golden skin and Emma had to fight the urge to lean in for a sweetly-scented hug.

"I don't really know where to begin and I don't know how much I can tell you about my reasons for messing this relationship up. At least… not until I know how things stand. So I guess all that I can tell you is that it became very clear to me today that I can't force myself to love him. I mean, I really tried! I can see what I liked about him back home, he is so fascinated by me and he does have this bad boy charm… but… it's just not enough. He just felt like a placeholder, as a safe choice that I settled for", Emma trailed off as the words ran dry and looked down on her hands in her lap.

Regina followed her gaze and tentatively put her own hand on top of Emma's pale hands. Despite Regina's nap in the sun the hand still felt cool against Emma's skin and that felt so familiar and right that Emma almost exchanged her look of sadness for a brief smile. But just almost.

They were silent for a few seconds before Regina spoke, the deep and dulcet tones hitting Emma's ears and commanding her full attention as always. "Emma, do you know that Culltown wasn't always called that?"

Emma felt confused at the change of topic but trusted that Regina was going somewhere with this.

"Um, no?"

Regina let her hand gently caress Emma's entwined fingers underneath it. "It used to be called Coaltown back in the day. Thom told me that this place used to be a small coalminer's town with a meagre population. Then the railroad went through here and made it a connecting point between many bigger towns, people moved here because it was so easy to transport themselves to all these places and soon Coaltown had grown into a much bigger place than the towns the railroad connected it to. People with different accents lived here now and spoke about Coaltown, so after a few generations the name had morphed into Culltown and the town had sprawled into a busy city. Looking around now and seeing the skyscrapers, the industrial factories and the high-class shopping centres it is impossible to see this place as a small coalminer's town, isn't it?"

Emma still looked as confused and just said "yeah, 'spose so."

Regina smiled at Emma's baffled expression and added "I'm trying to say that things evolve. They start out as one thing and it is obvious to everyone that THIS is the way it's supposed to be, but then it grows and alters. A certain change, like the railroad or a  _memory loss_  means that it can't remain the same. That is not the town's fault nor is it yours. So you just don't have any other choice than to adapt and give up fighting the change, do you see what I am getting at, Miss Swan?"

Emma smiled and gently took the hand caressing hers and held it between her hands, reverently but firmly. "Yeah, I think I do."

It pained Regina to say her next words. She wanted to keep Emma here, with her. Not to seduce or woo the wounded blonde, but to comfort her and make sure the reckless woman didn't do anything rash. But she knew that she had to do the right thing or Emma would never have peace of mind.

"Emma, you should probably join Killian and Doctor Brown. Talk to them about what happened and what you are feeling. It isn't just his emotions and future at stake here, it's yours as well. And we  _all_  have to find a way to move on and live with each other here in our castaway existence."

Reluctantly Emma nodded but made no indication of getting up.

Regina gave a wry smile and said "and if I drive you there right away you might be able to enter the room before Killian completely paints you as a cold-hearted, villainous she-wolf out to devour his poor innocent heart for breakfast. Wouldn't that be nice?"

Emma tried not to laugh at the comment considering the severity of the situation but when she saw the devilish glint in Regina's eyes she couldn't help a smirk forming on her lips. "You're awful, Regina", she said with laughter ghosting in her tone.

"Your mouth says  _awful_  but your smile says  _amusing_ , dear" Regina sing-songed and put her black high-heeled shoes on.

* * *

Regina dropped her off outside Doctor Sherlyn Brown's office and said that she was going to a nearby café for some coffee and a salad. "Call me when you and leatherboy have spilled all your innermost secrets and  _feelings_  to the leggy therapist", she said acidly.

Despite her morose mood Emma couldn't help sticking her head back into the car and cooing "oh, _leggy_  is she? I'd never pegged you for a leg-girl."

Regina glared at her and grumbled "I suppose that is something I picked up while living with you" and proceeded to lecherously rake her eyes up Emma's jeans-clad legs before reaching over and closing the door to then drive off.

Emma felt a buzz in her stomach and a quickening of her heartbeat at the comment. But as Regina drove off it quickly dissipated and her feelings of inadequacy, sadness and guilt returned in full force. She walked like a woman on the way to her execution towards the front door and reluctantly wrenched it open.

As she walked slowly up the steps to the door to the exclusive office she took her time, mulling over what she could say to explain her feelings and actions. When she reached the door she still hadn't decided, but she opened it reluctantly while hoping that Sherlyn's questions would prod her thoughts and feelings into words as normally was the case. However, as she hesitantly creeped into the office she realised that the redhead wouldn't be prodding her at all as she seemed busy prodding her tongue into Killian's mouth!

Emma made a noise, halfway between a shriek and a growl and interrupted the kissing between Killian, who was seated in one of the lounge chairs, and Sherlyn, who was straddling him and had one hand on his neck and the other clamped against his chest.

"Emma", Sherlyn panted and tried to compose herself. "Now, don't overreact to this. What is happening here isn't as bad as it looks."

"Really? Well as you clearly just found out, I don't care anymore. You can keep him", Emma hissed through gritted teeth before turning on her heel and storming out, banging the door behind her so loud that she remotely wondered if the hinges would ever be the same again.


	13. The disappointed waitress and a sky sugared with stars

Regina was sitting at a small, wobbly table in the corner of the café. A waitress brought over her salad and coffee and Regina thanked her without noticing the lascivious and slightly pining look the young be-spectacled woman gave her.

Emma rushed in, looked around wildly and then finally spotted Regina who was pensively picking up what looked to Emma like a lime-green cherry tomato and gracefully putting it into her mouth. Emma found herself staring, just for the blink of an eye, as the green little orb passed the full, red lips and disappeared into Regina's mouth. Then she rushed over and clumsily sat down in the chair opposite Regina.

The brunette quickly chewed and swallowed. "Emma? My, that was quick. Let me guess, you couldn't take Killian blaming you for everything under the sun and stormed out?"

"Not exactly", Emma muttered and faced Regina, showing her furrowed brow and wet eyes to the other woman.

Regina slowly put her fork down and placed her hand over Emma's on the table as she lowered her voice to ask "what's wrong?"

"Well, let's just say that Doctor Brown is helping Killian cope with losing me. By wrapping those long legs you admired around him and sticking her tongue down his throat."

"What!? That is both unprofessional and unethical! You should report her," Regina barked with her features set in disbelief and anger.

Emma just blew out breath and used her free hand to rub over her face, being careful not to smudge her mascara. "You know, I just don't care enough to bother with that. I know that I should be angry because they were all over each other two seconds after I finished things with Killian and because I get a feeling that Sherlyn planned this from the moment she saw that I was…", Emma stopped herself as she realised that she was about to say  _most likely in love with you_.

Regina looked at her searchingly, waiting to hear the rest.

And so Emma finished her sentence with "… not really in love with Killian. But I just want to ignore the whole thing. It's over and I don't have to worry about it  _or him_  anymore."

Regina nodded slowly and looked down on her hand covering Emma's before answering. "Well, it's up to you, dear. I wouldn't have been as forgiving, but then if some of my returning memories are true… I think you might be a better person than I."

Emma looked fixedly at Regina. "You're remembering things about yourself?"

Regina tensed in her seat. "Not really  _remembering_. I just got glimpses of the kind of person I am and what people think of me through… those bad dreams I had."

Emma seemed to forget about her ex-boyfriend and her ex-therapist as she looked at Regina's tormented features. "Hey… whatever you were back there, you clearly weren't that bad because I came into this memory loss-fog with huge amounts of admiration and well, love, for you. I don't think I'm the kind of person who would whole-heartedly believe in someone unless they had a good heart. I mean, look at Killian, I never fully connected with him and now I know why – he's a scumsucking perv-toad."

Regina looked at Emma in shock for a moment before breaking into laughter. "Excuse me? He's a  _what_?"

"You heard me", Emma said and picked up a long leaf from Regina's salad to pop in her mouth and chew with an expression showing her thoughts on the virtue of salad.

Regina looked at the still tear-filled green eyes and realised that Emma was deliberately suppressing her emotions about the entire Killian-debacle. That could be dangerous further down the line, but then, if that was how Emma wanted to handle it… that was up to her. Right now Regina had to admit that she was more curious about the blonde's feelings for herself. But how to broach the subject without being tactless or risking their friendship? It would have to wait.

"Would you like to order lunch here as well or do you want to go home?" Regina asked.

Emma swallowed hard and her pretend-sunny demeanour faltered for a second. "I… don't really want to be in public more than I have to. Silly, I know, but I feel kinda…", she trailed off, searching for the word.

"…exposed? Vulnerable?" Regina asked softly.

Emma gave a faint smile. "Yeah, one of them."

Regina made eye contact with the waitress in the glasses and the smitten girl scurried over. As the waitress approached the table she saw Regina's hand on top of Emma's and took in the newly arrived and angelically beautiful blonde and made a face as if to say  _damn, now I know I don't stand a chance_.

"Excuse me, could I have this salad and coffee to go instead, please? And can I add a grilled cheese sandwich, a coffee with hot milk and one of those apple pastries to that as well?" Regina asked as she grudgingly removed her hand from Emma's. She remembered all too well hearing that Culltown wasn't very open to any  _same-sex interaction_ , at least not in public.

The waitress looked at her mournfully and replied "sure, will that be all in one bag?"

Regina said yes and handed the girl her salad and still-piping hot coffee to be packed up. The be-spectacled girl looked Emma over once again and as she walked away to prepare their order she quietly muttered "dammit, why are the hot ones always together?"

* * *

Back in the apartment they had finished their lunch, decided against the driving practice tonight, discussed that they had no idea what to do about living arrangements with Killian and then played a game of Royal War, or as they still thought of it – chess. All that and still no word from Killian, not a phone call or even a text. Just silence. It grated on Emma but at the same time it was strangely soothing knowing that it was just her and Regina.

They sat down on the sofa with the coffee that Regina had just made them and without thinking about it, Emma leaned her head on Regina's shoulder as she said "maybe he just won't come back?"

"Well, that would be a relief to us all", Regina muttered and tried to control her heartbeat at the feel of Emma's head resting on her. After a moment's deliberation she braved putting her hand on Emma's lower arm and softly stroking it before letting her hand rest there.

They sat like that for a while, both enjoying the closeness of the other woman with pounding hearts and awakened senses but terrified to take it any further in case it freaked the other one out.

* * *

Suddenly Emma startled awake. She had clearly fallen asleep with her head on Regina's shoulder and what was worse than that, before she startled she had distinctly felt soft skin against her face. In horror she realised that she must have nuzzled into Regina's neck.

"Good morning, or rather  _good evening_ ", Regina said without looking up and Emma noticed that the brunette had managed to pick up a book and her little book light that clipped on to the page, without waking her.

"Sorry, I must have fallen asleep", Emma croaked and felt her cheeks heat up as she thought about the feeling of the perfume smelling skin against her face.

"Yes, you did, dear. I thought you might need the sleep after your busy day of break-ups and adulterous displays, so I let you sleep for a while", Regina said casually and turned the page.

"It's so dark in here. How long did I sleep?" Emma said and stifled a yawn.

"Long enough for it to almost be dinner time but not long enough for Killian to make any form of contact", Regina muttered tersely.

Emma could feel Regina's resentment towards Killian come off the older woman like heat and felt her heart thump. Regina was dangerously beautiful when angry. Emma stopped herself from cuddling back into Regina and purring at the sexy ire by stretching heartily and then slowly standing up.

Watching her, Regina put her book and book light down and joined her by giving herself a much more lady-like stretch and standing up next to Emma. Then she flicked the light switch on the standing lamp next to them and illuminated the room in soft, orange light.

"So, are you ready for dinner? I thought I might make something with pasta?" Regina asked while smoothing down her black knee-length dress and putting her high-heeled shoes back on.

Emma looked out the window and saw that the sun had set and painted the purple sky pitch black. Suddenly she longed for some fresh air.

"You know what? I'm not hungry yet, but I do really need some air. Should we risk that rickety balcony tonight?" Emma asked, really wishing that Regina would say yes.

Regina looked at the locked door leading to the old balcony, it was obviously as old as the building but unlike the building it hadn't been renovated or checked by Culltown's building control. The landlord had warned them that the thing hadn't passed any safety checks and advised them to leave it alone, and so they had. Until now.

"Why not? Let's live dangerously", Regina said and walked over to fiddle with the old lock.

Watching her, Emma wondered about their safety. They shouldn't both fall of a crumbling balcony just because she was an emotional state today. She frowned and voiced her concerns, "actually, maybe not? I mean what do we do if it's not safe?"

Regina smiled at her and Emma could have sworn that the room got a bit brighter. " _Emma_. If the balcony crumbles I will hold it up with magic", Regina said softly before extending her hand to the still drowsy blonde and adding "you must know that  _I would never let you fall_."

Emma swallowed hard and felt a strange feeling in her stomach as she took Regina's outstretched hand and joined her on the ancient balcony.

After a long breath of fresh air Emma looked up and saw some stars twinkle dimly through the evening clouds and light pollution. She thought about the night sky and faint memories ran though her mind.

"You know, I can remember seeing a lot of bright stars. Standing on a small main road and seeing stars in the sky and thinking that back when I lived in the city I never realised that there were so many of 'em or that they could be so clearly visible", Emma mused

Regina smiled. "I know, I think about that often. My recollections are slightly different though. I can remember being in a small town and seeing more stars than this, yes, but I can also remember standing at what feels like a balcony of a grand palace? And seeing a multitude of stars there, like a sky sugared with bright stars."

Emma noticed that Regina was shivering in the evening chill and took off her flannel shirt, leaving herself in only a white tank top, and placed the shirt over Regina's shoulders. Regina opened her mouth to argue that Emma should keep her shirt but after seeing the shy but earnest look of tenderness that Emma gave her, Regina decided to keep it and placed it more firmly over her shoulders, enjoying the faint lily smell on the fabric.

Then there was a noise from inside and they both knew that it was Emma's phone. Now they would know what Killian had to say. Emma squeezed Regina's hand and braved reaching over to plant a chaste peck on the other woman's cheek before going into check her phone.


	14. The phone call and shared sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: As three of my usual readers have now asked if I'm ok as I haven't replied to reviews or left author's notes lately I thought I would try to do both. (I don't always have time to reply to reviews and sometimes getting a response from me can take a while.) I'm ok and most of all, I am very grateful and humbled that some of you noticed my silence and took the time to check up on me. I'm lucky to have such lovely readers (and maybe even friends?). Here comes another quite sweet chapter, for those of you who don't like that… next chapter will be more action and darkness.

Regina watched Emma answering the call with some trepidation. Despite her instincts telling her that Emma was not the type to try and salvage a long dead relationship with a man who didn't deserve her, she still felt fear blooming in her stomach and spreading its cold tendrils through her. There was a slender ray of hope shining inside Regina, a hope nurtured by how natural it felt for them to be close to each other now. The last thing she wanted was that hope flickering out because of Killian.

For a moment Regina had even considered confessing her attraction out there on the balcony, perhaps it was a good thing that she hadn't. After all, Emma had only been single for a few hours, what kind of monster would try to romance her now while she was still vulnerable? Then Regina remembered the looks on people's face in her dream and thought that maybe she was a monster. She shook the painful thoughts off and walked inside. As she turned to close the balcony door she heard Emma say "yeah, I think that's probably best. So, um, do you want me to pack up your stuff?"

Regina felt her heart beat an extra time.

Emma put her hair behind her ear and closed her eyes as she spoke again. "Ok, yeah. I'll go out tomorrow and buy some bags and I'll pack your clothes and toiletries in that. But, uh, Killian… would you mind if I'm not here when you pick it up? Regina can open the door for you and take your keys and stuff. You should probably leave some contact details too in case we need to reach you."

There was a long pause while Killian answered. Regina strained her ears to hear what was being said on the other line but failed, she knew she shouldn't eavesdrop but this call would influence all their lives.

"No, I don't want you to apologize anymore! I just want you to give me some space, ok? Don't worry about me _, I_  broke up with  _you_ , remember? Anyway, I'm not all alone, I have Regina", Emma said and slumped down on the sofa.

Regina sat down next to her. She removed Emma's shirt from her slim shoulders and draped it around Emma's more sculpted shoulders instead, then she picked up her book and pretended to read.

"No, I didn't mean that I have Regina  _like that_. I just meant that I have a… friend. Look, I don't think my love life is really any of your business anymore, Killian! Just butt out and go screw Sherlyn while you discuss your  _manpain_ , ok?" Emma snapped and pushed the hang-up button so hard that Regina worried she'd break the touchscreen.

They sat in silence for a while. Emma was still seething and trying to calm down and Regina was still pretending to read her book.

After a few seconds Emma muttered "Killian is going to move in with Doctor Brown until he finds his own place. He said he thinks he's found real love and that he isn't that interested in returning back to our old life anymore. He suggested… well a lot of things, but mainly that we forget our past and move on here in Culltown."

Regina slowly put her book down and gently placed her hand on Emma's shoulder before quietly saying "that's because he doesn't have Henry to return to. We do."

Emma turned to Regina with distress plastered all over her delicate features but as she took in Regina's calm tenderness she smiled slightly. "Yeah, you're right. We have Henry."

Regina gathered up her courage and tentatively caressed Emma's hair as she murmured "you've had a long day. Maybe you should try to get some rest?"

Emma was reminded of what that tugging, fading feeling was and realised that she was exhausted. "Yeah, I think I will. Are you going to bed too?"

Regina shook her head with a little smile. "No, dear. I have too much on my mind. I think I'll try drawing some more. I seem to have fleeting images of a woman with pale skin and short dark hair who is talking to a parrot or something. Actually, it might be a blue jay. I don't know what kind of bird she is talking to or why anyone would waste their time talking to birds, but I thought I would attempt to draw her anyway."

Emma nodded with a forced, sad smile and mumbled "ok, well goodnight then."

She got up, suddenly feeling much older than she was, and turned back to Regina. What she did after that was pure instinct, she leant forward and planted a kiss in the soft, thick coffee-coloured hair before leaving. As Emma walked out of the room a panicked voice inside her head screamed  _what did you just do? Did you just kiss her hair? This woman is all you've got and you risk pushing her away like that?_

However, if Emma had turned around she would have seen Regina sitting still as a statue on the sofa staring after her with such intense longing and love that it nearly burnt a hole in Emma's back.

* * *

Emma couldn't sleep. She felt so physically exhausted that her muscles thrummed with the need for sleep, but her mind was having none of it. She tossed and turned for a long time and then gave up. Her legs were starting to tingle and she knew that this was a sign that she hadn't gotten enough exercise lately.

She got up, wrapping her duvet around herself as she always slept naked, and looked through the window down at the street below. She could see a few young guys running around and one of them threw the other one something that looked mysteriously like a gun. Emma shook her head, magic or no magic, going out for a run right at night in Culltown would be too dangerous.

She threw the duvet back on the bed, did a few lunges, squats and stretches and then went to the chair by her bed, on it were her discarded clothes. She put on her white panties and her equally white tanktop and went out to the kitchen to get a glass of milk.

Considering the late hour she had assumed that Regina would be asleep but clearly she was wrong. As she saw the brunette sitting by the kitchen table and drawing with a cup of herbal tea by her elbow, Emma was glad that she had put on the tanktop and panties. Although she wondered if Regina would react as badly to her exposed nipples being around as she drank her tea as she had been when Killian's had been around while she drank her morning coffee.

Thinking about her nipples, and Regina seeing them, was clearly a mistake as the two little nubs responded by growing slightly taut against the evening chill in the kitchen. Emma crossed her arms over her chest just as Regina looked up from her drawing.

"Emma. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just… couldn't sleep."

"I suppose that is to be expected", Regina conceded with a dip of her head. "Would you like some herbal tea? It is supposed to help you fall asleep. It contains camomile, lavender and some strange herb called  _crowned sleep_."

Emma frowned slightly. "Would I like it?"

"Try it and find out", Regina replied, meaning that she would make some and Emma could try it.

However, Emma misunderstood her words and walked over to Regina's cup and took a sip from it. The intimacy of the gesture struck Regina hard and when that had opened the floodgates of her feelings for Emma, she allowed herself to marvel at the sight of Emma so scantily clad. All that warm, soft, pale skin so close and so… available. Stopping herself, Regina clenched her hands into fists on the table and berated herself for staring at Emma in the blonde's sensitive and exposed state. She was just so breath-takingly beautiful and she just made Regina's heart… sing.

Emma put the cup back down on the table. "Not bad, I mean it's not like your amazing coffee but if this stuff makes me sleep I'll gladly gulp down a whole pot of it."

Regina got up quickly, happy to have something to distract her with. She put the water back to boil and retrieved the teabags from the cupboard.

Emma was looking at what Regina had been drawing. "Hey, this is really good! Your drawing skills are just getting better and better. I'm pretty sure I know this woman too. She's kind… but a little naïve, I think. But brave."

"And annoying", Regina spat out without thinking.

Emma stared at her, surprised at the brunette's vehemence.

"Sorry, it's just that when I drew her I had this feeling of caring about this woman but against my will, as if she was a puppy that my child had brought home and that I did not wish to keep but also couldn't get rid of", Regina said and placed her hand on her stomach in a gesture of unease and inexplicable inner turmoil.

"Okay, I'm not sure I follow you there but then we probably have different relationships with this woman", Emma commented and sat down.

Over her shoulder Regina said, "somewhere under that drawing are two drawings on one piece of paper that I did when you and Killian were out on your adventure. It's of a man who seems to be turning into a rat, which is even stranger than the woman talking to birds. Perhaps we shouldn't give my drawings too much credit, it does all seem quite farfetched."

Emma ruffled around in the pile of papers until she found the one Regina was talking about. She could see a scruffy looking man drawn in his human form first and then as a human seemingly turning into a rat. In the second one there was a large swirling vortex too and a sign that said  _Granny's diner_.

"No, I think you are on to something here. I definitely remember that Diner sign and I remember this guy as well. I remember being really pissed off at him for something."

Regina nodded in agreement. "Yes, me too. Drawing him made me feel… angry, vengeful and laced with remnants of fear. I think he hurt someone dear to me, or at least threatened to."

"Henry, maybe?" Emma asked as she still inspected the drawing. Then before Regina could answer Emma said "I remember Henry getting into trouble all the time back in Storybrooke."

Regina froze as she was pouring Emma's tea into a big red mug. "Excuse me?"

"Huh?" Emma asked, still preoccupied by staring at the rat guy, the vortex and the sign.

"You said Storybrooke. That sounds exceedingly… right. Do you think that is what our home is called?"

Emma looked up, suddenly realising what she had said. "Oh shit. Um, yeah actually. I think it might be! Storybrooke! Where did that come from?"

"It was probably looking at the familiar things in the drawing. Doctor Brown might be a man-eating tramp but she did come up with a good idea here", Regina conceded.

"Hey, don't give her all the credit. If you hadn't been so brilliant at drawing we never would have recognized and remembered anything. I mean, the best I could manage was stick figures and a drawing of a big white house that looked like a four year old drew it", Emma said with an embarrassed shrug.

Regina smiled at that and handed Emma her mug of tea. Emma took it and deliberately let her fingertips touch Regina's. As soon as she had made her cocky little flirty gesture she recoiled, terrified that Regina would notice that it wasn't an accident. But Regina just batted her long eyelashes at her, almost shyly, and sat down.

The fear in Emma's heart died down quickly. She could never be completely frightened in Regina's presence, there was just something so right about them being together that it was impossible not to feel at least a little bit comfortable.

Emma smiled before asking "so, do you think this tea will make me sleepy?"

"It would appear to be working for me at least. I'm feeling quite exhausted", Regina replied and rolled her tired shoulders a few times.

Emma blew on her tea but then remembered that Regina usually put some cold water into her hot drinks so she wouldn't scold her mouth. She tried a tiny sip and found the beverage just drinkable. She sipped at it for a while and watched Regina cast furtive glances at her across the table.

"What are you thinking?" Emma asked.

Regina hesitated. "Just… that you are probably not accustomed to sleeping alone."

Emma scoffed. "Are you calling me a slut?"

"No! Of course not, I'm just saying that I can't imagine that a woman like you would ever have to be alone. And well, ever since we came here and probably before then, you've had Killian next to you. Sharing your sleep with someone is a very potent thing and you don't really know how much it matters to you until you no longer do it", Regina said quietly.

Emma looked a little confused. "What, you mean sharing a bed?"

"Well, yes,  _that is where we often sleep_ , Miss Swan", Regina replied sarcastically before continuing in a softer voice, "but it is more than that, it is the intimacy and trust in being able to sleep next to someone. To both be in that very vulnerable state of sleeping, completely unconscious and unaware of your surroundings, together. Usually both in less clothing and make-up than normally, as well. It's a very intimate and comforting thing and when you don't have it…. You miss it. I just thought that  _this_ , coupled with today's events, might be why you can't sleep."

Emma reached out her hand, warmed from having been on her hot cup, and placed it over Regina's. "Are you offering to sleep next to me tonight to make sure I can sleep?"

Regina blinked. That was exactly what she was getting at, but she had assumed she would have to explain her trail of thought and phrase her words just right to ensure it all made sense. But Emma didn't seem to think it was odd or that Regina was trying to seduce her, the blonde had seen her exact meaning without Regina even having to explain it. How did she do that?

"Well… yes, I suppose that was what I was offering. Although, I was also making a general observation", Regina said and stiffened visibly as she spoke, fear of rejection pulsing up her spine.

Emma's green eyes seemed to almost glow as she they peered into Regina's brown ones. She let her warm hand caress Regina's colder one and in a gentle tone she replied, "I would like that very much. Would you mind if we go to bed soon? I would like to try to get a few hours' sleep before we have to get up to go bag shopping for Killian's stuff."

Regina nodded as she swallowed hard. Then remembering that this would require some logistics she cleared her throat quietly and said, "yes, if you finish your tea and then make your way back to your bedroom I will be in as soon as I have prepared for sleep."

"Sure!" Emma said and gave Regina a huge happy-puppy smile that made Regina's stomach tingle as if it was filled with champagne bubbles.

* * *

Regina felt increasingly nervous as she removed her makeup, washed, flossed and brushed her teeth. What was she doing? Was she really going to crawl into bed with a woman she clearly was highly attracted to? A woman who had just had a bad breakup and needed a supportive friend more than she did an aroused and love-sick suitor. She sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. Yes, yes she was.

She checked her resolve to ensure that she would be there for Emma and do nothing more than sleep chastely next to her. She would not sniff the faint lily scent on Emma's skin, she would not watch the blonde's beautiful features in sleep, she would not pretend to accidentally roll up and then spend the night with her body pressed up against Emma's and she would not, absolutely not, whisper  _I think I'm in love with you_  before they fell asleep. She watched her reflection in the mirror and saw the brow creasing up and the mouth setting in a sad but determined way. She would take care of Emma and bury her own feelings.

She walked out, now dressed in a emerald green silk pyjamas, and knocked on the door of what used to be Emma's and Killian's bedroom.

"Come in", a sleepy voice replied.

Regina opened the door and saw that Emma was laying on her side of the bed, luckily still wearing her tanktop and panties by the looks of it. Regina felt her hands give a slight tremble as she turned off the ceiling light and then walked towards the bed.

She got in under the covers and immediately felt the warmth radiating off Emma's body. She closed her eyes and just enjoyed it for a second but then inhaled and opened her eyes with a start and an annoyed blowing out of breath.

"What is it", Emma asked drowsily.

"This pillow smells of Killian. I'll have to go retrieve my own pillow", Regina griped.

"No, I was just drifting off to sleep! Just throw his pillow away and move closer to me and share my pillow instead", Emma whined.

Regina swallowed hard in the dark and then warily threw Killian's pillow off the bed. She moved close to Emma and gingerly placed her head on the edge of the blonde's pillow. Emma was facing the other way and Regina could not only feel the outline of Emma's body, with her bottom being the closest bit to Regina and almost touching her groin area, but she could also feel that she was laying not just on Emma's pillow but also on a few strands of Emma's hair. The blonde didn't seem to mind that though as she was already making little noises that were just on the cute side of snoring.

_She's already asleep_ , Regina thought.  _I only had to be in bed next to her and she fell asleep._  Regina felt a proud smile tugging at the corners of her mouth and allowed herself a celebratory quick sniff of Emma's hair. She moved in further, still not touching Emma, but now more securely placed on the pillow and closed her own eyes to gently drift off into a dreamless, deep sleep.

* * *

It was still dark when Regina started awake. It took her still half-sleeping brain a few seconds to realise where she was and what it was that had woken her. It was Emma, deep in sleep, closing the tiny gap between their bodies by backing up and then reaching back to grab Regina's arm and placing it around her waist.

Regina's hand could now feel Emma's warm stomach through the fabric of the tanktop, Emma's scent permeated Regina's every breath and the blonde's soft hair tickled pleasantly against the older woman's face. Regina smiled hugely and realised that she couldn't remember when she last felt this happy and safe.

Carefully she pressed her body against Emma's, still too half-buried in sleep to worry about consequences, and was lulled back asleep by the feel of Emma's taut stomach gently lifting and retreating with her calm breathing.


	15. No Evil Queen mode allowed but possibly requited love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: As this chapter got too long I had to divide it up in two and I will probably finish and post the next part tomorrow as chapter 16. Which means the action-filled chapter I promised you will be the next one. This one will be dealing with them waking up together, Killian saying his goodbye and a shower scene.

That noise was annoying her. She was drowsy and very comfortable, everything was warm and soft and she realised this was not just because of the bed and the deep sleep, it was also due to the soft, supple body pressed against her and fitting into her every angle and curve as if they were melding together.

Emma's eyes pinged open. Regina. Regina was holding her, Regina was sleeping pressed up against her, Regina had her hand on her stomach… suddenly Emma became too aware of how she was breathing, she felt the slender, elegant hand on her stomach and as she focused on it she thought too much about how big or small breaths she should take to not wake Regina and make her remove her hand. Because certainly this cuddle must be involuntary?

There was that annoying noise again.  _Oh, it's your phone you god damn idiot,_  Emma thought and carefully reached her hand out to grab the device from her bedside table.

As she picked up the phone, saw that it was Killian ringing and pushed the answer button she noticed that Regina gently withdrew her hand and moved away. The sudden loss of the soft warmth against Emma's skin felt cruel and Emma was more than ready to shout Killian's ears off.

"What do you want?" Emma growled down the phone.

"No need to bite my head off, love. I just wanted to ask when would be a good time to come over and fetch my things?" Killian asked in a placating voice.

Out of the corner of her eye Emma could see Regina get up and walk towards the bathroom, somehow Emma was sure that the brunette wasn't coming back to bed.

Emma rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand. "Um, I don't know. What time is it now?"

"It's about 8.30, love. I thought I could ring you now because I know Regina always gets up at 7 and her noise in the kitchen usually means you're up by 8", Killian said apologetically.

Emma looked out in the hallway, towards the bathroom door and sighed. "We were up pretty late last night. I guess Regina must have overslept or something. Why don't you come by before lunch?"

"Alright, I'll be arriving just before twelve then."

Emma didn't even try to sound enthusiastic. "Great. We'll put your stuff by the door and Regina will take your keys and new address."

"Aye. Oh and Emma…. Just let me say this once more, I really am sorry for how things turned out. I never planned this", he croaked.

"Yeah, well, whatever. Just pick up your stuff and go, 'kay?"

"Aye. Tell Regina I'll see her just before twelve. Look after yourself, Swan", Killian said and hung up.

Emma stared at the phone and mused,  _he called me Swan?_ Yeah, that rang a bell actually. Not that it would be happening anymore, Killian was gone now and he took her guilt and worry about her possible inability to love with him.

"I'm assuming that was Killian", a calm and measured voice said from the door way.

Emma looked up and saw Regina standing there, impeccably dressed in black trousers and a white shirt and remarkably with her full make-up on already, magic was probably involved in that. Regina was buttoning the buttons on her left shirt sleeve and looked like absolutely nothing out of the ordinary had happened last night.

_Oh, so that's how we're playing this, we're pretending it never happened_ , Emma thought bitterly.

"Yeah, it was him. He's coming over just before noon. I said you'd be there to meet him and take his keys, I hope that's ok? I just can't face him right now."

Regina dropped her cool demeanour and gave Emma a look of sincere empathy.

"Of course, I'll hand him his large collection of every piece of leather clothing that has ever been made and then resist setting his goatee on fire", Regina finished in her usual acerbic tone.

Emma smiled up at her and soon saw the controlled woman become flustered and leave the room muttering about making coffee.

"I think I'll go have a shower before breakfast", Emma shouted after her.

"Fine, just don't become  _difficult_  when your low blood sugar sets in, Miss Swan", came the response from the hallway.

Emma smiled to herself and secretly dared to hope that Regina did actually feel the same way she did.

* * *

When she had drunk her pitch-black coffee and eaten a single slice of wholegrain toast with butter Regina couldn't stand just sitting there anymore. She got up and began to pace back and forth in the kitchen. She was haunted by the feeling of Emma in her arms and the worry about what their bodies entangled in sleep last night meant.

Did Emma want to be with her after all? And if that was the case, would she still want that when they returned to this Storybrooke where apparently everyone hated her.

Regina looked towards the hallway where the door to the bathroom, which right now contained Emma Swan, was. Oh how she wished that it all just turned out to be a dream, maybe she wasn't so despised and feared after all? Maybe she lived in peace and harmony with Emma and Henry in this small town with the diner sign and the clear night sky? But no, she knew deep in her heart that she had a past full of darkness and more sins than she could ever atone for.

Her pacing was growing frantic now and her heart was pounding hard. If she didn't break this trail of thought she would give herself some sort of panic attack. She tried to think of something nicer, something that would soothe and ground her. Emma. The beautiful blonde with her strength, her honesty and her annoying but sweet little quirks. The woman who was in the shower, having one of her usual scorching hot showers. Naked. Wet. Her toned body covered in droplets of water, foaming soap and the steam in the air. This was not slowing Regina's heart beat down but it  _was_  succeeding in a new way of driving her crazy.

It was driving her crazy enough to allow a grin to appear on her face, a feral but regal grin that had never adorned her face unless she was wearing an expansive dress with corset, elaborate hairdo and fierce makeup. Regina was fighting the  _evil_  thoughts about striding right into the bathroom and closely inspecting every single inch of what she wanted to see. And if the object of her desire didn't balk at this, maybe inspecting wasn't all she would do.

Fevered by the idea and somehow feeling entitled to take what she wanted, Regina strode over to the bathroom door and opened it. The steam rushed towards her and blinded her, it caused her to pause for a second and then she came to her senses. She shook her head, frightened at her own impulse and buried the idea. She didn't do things like that, not anymore at least, and especially not to Emma who she admired and respected above all else despite the woman being a clumsy, tasteless, bumbling  _child_  sometimes.

Shamefaced and confused at her own behaviour Regina went to her own bed, still pristine as no one had slept in it, and sat down on the edge of it and fidgeted with her shirt sleeves.

Soon Emma came out, wearing only a towel and a smug smile. She stared right at Regina and snickered, "did you want anything Regina?"

"Excuse me?" Regina said in faked nonchalant tones as she stood up and walked into the hallway to get to the kitchen and escape this conversation.

"Well I noticed that someone wrenched the door open but then just disappeared again", Emma said in faux-innocence and stood so that she was in Regina's way.

"Oh, y-yes I went in to brush my teeth and forgot that you were having a shower. As soon as I realised you were in there I closed the door", Regina replied with a barely concealed stutter and an angry, embarrassed look.

Emma took in the petulant look on Regina's face and the fact that the older woman refused to make eye contact and she just couldn't resist continuing the game.

"So, you didn't walk in and accidentally see me naked then?"

"No, of course not", the brunette quickly replied in a flustered tone.

"… and you weren't tempted to? Not even for a quick peek?" Emma teased and gave a very suggestive smile that Regina could feel tingling all the way down to her toes.

Regina pursed her lips as if the conversation annoyed her and muttered "naturally not, I would never degrade us both in that manner and anyway, you are not as irresistible as you seem to think,  _Miss Swan_."

Emma exchanged her smug grin for a coy smile as she quietly said "that's a shame" and walked past Regina, treating the older woman's sense of smell to the scent of her shampoo and soap.

Regina took a deep breath and tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach by reminding herself that she is a refined, wise, measured woman with poise and self-control. Too bad that her heart and libido always seemed to forget that when Emma Swan was around.

* * *

When Emma was dressed they walked down to a small second hand shop just down the road. Regina had decided that they were neither going to spend money nor time on buying nice luggage to stuff Killian's things in. In fact she had suggested that they just put it all into a large sheet and handed it over like an overstuffed sack, tempted as Emma had been to agree to this, she had suggested the compromise of buying Killian a second hand bag or suitcase from the nearby shop and just be done with it.

Regina had preferred not going into a shop which she said only sold  _things that people had died in_  and waited outside. Emma had rolled her eyes at this latest sign of Regina's apparent snobbery and gone in alone. She picked out a hefty, leather duffel bag and a big ex-military rucksack and bought them with their monthly allowance from the Mayor of Culltown. As the blonde walked out with her purchases and leftover money she mused that they had better find their way back to Storybrooke before the Mayor's generosity and guilt over the amnesia-causing accident ran out.

Regina didn't even look at the purchases but just nodded her head impatiently and snapped "let's go home. It's freezing out here."

Emma glared at her. "You didn't have to come with me, I told you I could easily do this alone."

"I wanted to come with you because…" Regina trailed off.

Emma grinned the same smug grin she had when she got out of the shower. "Because you like being with me?"

"…because you need constant supervision to ensure you don't cause trouble! Like chasing down a stoned, knife-wielding criminal while still nursing a damaged leg!" Regina snarled back.

"Well you fixed that for me, didn't you? My legs are perfectly usable now. I'll take off my jeans and show you when we get upstairs if you like," Emma flirted smugly.

"No, I think you should focus on getting the drunkard's things packed so I can hoist them at him when he arrives", Regina muttered and ended the conversation as she stormed back to the apartment with an amused Emma in tow.

* * *

They had just placed his bags in the hallway and decided on just sandwiches for lunch when there was a knock on the door.

"That will be Mr Therapy-lover. Why don't you go into my bedroom and close the door, there is no way he'll find an excuse to go in there", Regina said quietly as she surveyed the bags to ensure they had closed all the zips.

Emma just nodded nervously and rushed to Regina's bedroom. When she had closed the door she looked around and realised that this would be a perfect time to snoop around the brunette's room, but the second she heard Killian's voice outside she let go of that idea and threw herself on Regina's bed and buried her face deep in Regina's pillow.

The soft pillow smelled of Regina and suddenly Emma forgot her discomfort and stress for a brief moment and just breathed in the scent, she realised that it made her chest tighten with affection and a tingling feeling appear between her legs and took another deep breath, now  _this_  was really effective therapy.

"Hi Regina. How are you?"

"Oh you know, a little tired after being up most of the night looking after the perfect specimen of womanhood that you mistreated", Regina said coldly with a raised eyebrow at Killian.

Killian looked down at his boots. "Aye, that I did. But I will remind you that I did do everything I could to make her happy while we were together. It was only when she threw me aside that I and Sherlyn allowed our attraction to take root. I never meant to hurt Emma, it's just that she and I don't make sense together. I think she has… buried feelings for someone else."

"You would think that, wouldn't you? It would never occur to you that a woman might leave you unless it was because someone else  _stole_  her away", Regina snapped viciously.

"Look, let's just put away our swords here and I'll give you my keys and take my bags", Killian mumbled with a pained grimace.

"Fine, there are your bags", Regina pointed at the duffel bag and the large rucksack with an air that made it very clear that she was not going to lift a finger to help him.

Killian just nodded and handed over his keys and a slip of paper with an address for Doctor Sherlyn Brown and then picked up the rucksack and placed it on his back and then took the duffel bag in his hand.

He saluted Regina with his hook and said "goodbye Regina. Let me know if you get any closer to finding out our pasts and possible ways to return home. But don't break your backs trying to find it, Culltown is a nice place and it will make a good home for all of us."

Regina scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "More for you than us, I think. You seem to fit in here better than we do and to be quite honest… I and Emma know we have loved ones waiting for us back home. Storybrooke is the name of the place by the way, we remembered it yesterday."

Killian winced at the words  _we remembered_  but then just mumbled "alas, that doesn't ring a bell to me but if you research it and it is close by I might take a taxi ride over there and have a look at it."

Regina raised a perfectly maintained eyebrow at him and drawled "well, it's hardly that close by or we wouldn't be as different as the people here, now would we?"

Killian looked at her with disdain and growled "why do you always have to be so difficult? I pity Emma having to be stuck with you…  _your Majesty_! I just hope you'll take care of her and learn to deserve her love."

Regina gave a superior laugh and cooed "oh, I'm sure I can do a better job than you, dear. I'll just treat her like a person, let her make her own decisions, listen to her and try to really get to know her and you know… not upset her by sleeping with her therapist." Hearing what her words seemed to convey she quickly added "not that I and Emma have the same sort of relationship as you two did, of course."

Killian scoffed and gave a mirthless laugh. "Really? Well the physical side might not be there but as someone who has been forced to watch you for weeks now I can tell you that you have everything else. Now I am done with both you haughty witches and I am going to a real woman who will appreciate me." With that he stormed out and down the stairs before Regina had time to reply.

She might have had time to get in a final barb if it wasn't for the fact that she was frozen in place by his words.  _Well the physical side might not be there but as someone who has been forced to watch you for weeks now I can tell you that you have everything else._ Was he saying that he had seen her hidden love for Emma or that he thought that they both had romantic feelings for each other?

"He's gone, right?" Emma's pinched face looked out from behind Regina's door in alarm.

"Yes dear, he's gone", Regina said softly and showed Emma the keys and slip of paper in her hand.

Emma walked out of the room and placed her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. "Good. Can we… can we just have lunch now and then do something to take my mind off things? I really don't want to talk about him or even think about him."

"Well I can certainly understand that sentiment. How about we have some lunch and then we go shopping for some new scarves and gloves as it is getting cold out there? Then tonight we can go out for that introductory driving practice you wanted?"

Emma gave Regina a grateful smile. "Yeah, that sounds perfect. As long as you don't spend the entire afternoon making fun of my choices in scarves and gloves!"

Regina raised both eyebrows before saying " _Emma_ …. there is categorically no way I can promise that."

Emma shrugged and beamed. "Nah, I guess it was a dumb thing to ask for."


	16. Drive

They got down into the underground car park and walked over to Regina's black, sleek and expensive car. Emma reached out a hand and caressed the side of the vehicle and Regina realised that she had never been jealous of a car before.

"You know, part of me wishes that it wasn't illegal to transport via magic in this town, just because it would make things easier for you and me, but then I look at cars like this beauty and suddenly I just want to drive all night", Emma said as she admired the elegant curves of the expensive vehicle.

"I'm glad it's to your liking. You do seem to have a fondness for the dark and sultry type", Regina quipped but then quickly looked away as she regretted her words.

Emma was more than happy to play though and smirked slightly as she replied "yep, like you said when we argued about the whole Thom and the elevator thing, I want a stable of tall, dark and handsome types but you know what…. I'll budge on the tall bit for you", she said and waited until Regina looked at her with pursed lips before she added "shorty".

She quickly got in the car before Regina could explode and saw the woman in question get into the driver's seat in lightning speed and hiss "I'm not that much shorter than you,  _Miss Swan."_

"Whoa, I wasn't saying that it's a bad thing. I like that you are a little shorter than me, it makes me feel like I can scoop you up and protect you. Even though I'm sure it would actually be the other way around if danger came knocking."

Regina tried to find her fury again but found that it was melting fast in the face of Emma's kind, earnest expression. She scoffed loudly and pointedly picked up the keys and showed them to Emma.

"These are car keys. Does your mossy brain remember them or is it too busy thinking about your  _type_?" Regina said icily.

Emma let her eyes wander up Regina's body and then scan her perfect facial features before braving the words "not so much thinking about my type as staring right at it."

Regina looked uncomfortable and for a moment Emma's heart froze in fear as she worried that she had taken their playful banter too far and creeped her friend out.

What she didn't know was that Regina's discomfort wasn't due to any aversion to the flirting but rather the fact that she was enjoying it a little too much. The heat between her legs was impossible to ignore and the brunette was using all her willpower to make it go away. She took off the leather gloves that she and Emma had bought a few hours ago as she grumbled "if you are not going to concentrate then we might as well call this off."

"No, no! Let's do it now. I don't want to spend the evening pretending to watch TV while I'm actually just analysing what happened with Killian. Just keep going, I'll be a good girl", Emma promised solemnly.

Regina peered at her, wondering if the good girl comment was another flirtation, but if it was then Emma had a better poker face than she would have expected.

With a curt nod of the head, Regina replied "as you wish. Right, this is the ignition and…"

Emma interrupted her. "Yeah, yeah, that's where the keys go. I watched you drive us to the shopping mall earlier today and I could name everything you touched and remember what it did. Can we just go for a drive? You said once that Culltown allows you to drive faster than you instinctively thought you should? Well, I wanna drive fast tonight and if I can't do it,  _you_  can at least drive me fast, right?"

Regina looked at Emma for only a few seconds before acquiescing. If this would help Emma then this what they were going to do. Regina drove them out of the parking garage and chose one of the bigger roads that led to a highway leading out of the city and into one of the spacious suburban areas.

When Regina was given the car, or lent it was probably a more correct term, she had taken it out for a spin and explored all the routes out of town, just in case they needed to leave for some reason. The way they were going now was less crowded than the others and offered up a long expanse of wide road to speed onto.

Soon they were moving fast across the quiet highway, meeting only a few other cars which were doing the same speed. Regina was monitoring her speed to keep to Culltown's ridiculously high speed limits but certainly not go above it. She wanted to help distract Emma and make her feel better but she would under no circumstances endanger them.

As they felt the car move with the ease and swiftness that only a new, expensive car could, Emma closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of speed. She realised that this made her feel free, traveling away from her problems and moving towards new destinations. It did feel a bit weird right now though, she felt that she should be the one driving and that the car should clunk and forcefully drag itself over the miles, not glide effortlessly like Regina's new car did. But still, she was  _moving_  and the road to Culltown was disappearing behind them.

Emma watched the landscape rush by as they drove and said "so, when you were buying those gloves today I checked the maps on my phone. Storybrooke isn't anywhere on 'em."

Regina sighed slightly. "Well, that was to be expected. We both felt that wherever we come from isn't… local. We can do some more looking into it when all this Killian business has settled down but I doubt we'll find it around  _here_. I think it's quite far away."

Emma leaned her head back on the neck-rest and turned her gaze back to Regina. "Do you think we'll ever get back there?"

"Yes. If there is one thing I do remember about myself it's that I don't give up. We are going back to Storybrooke and we are going to find Henry", Regina stated confidently.

"Yes,  _Madam Mayor_ ", Emma said obediently and then chuckled.

Regina quickly spun her head to look at Emma. "Excuse me?"

Emma looked back at her and then mirrored Regina's surprised face. As Regina turned her attention back to the road she muttered, "well, that sounded familiar."

Emma sucked in breath through her teeth. "Yeah… it did. Do you think it's a nickname or your actual title? You're kinda bossy so I guess it could be either".

" _A nickname_? That is as ridiculous as when you thought that  _Miss Swan_  might just be a term of endearment. I am either the Mayor or you have moronic nicknames for people, I prefer to believe the first option", Regina sniped.

"Fine. I guess you're the Mayor of Storybrooke then. Congratulations! Now if we just find you a last name, the rest of your memories and a way to get back to  _your town_ , you'll be doing great", Emma said cynically.

Regina just scoffed and silence fell in the car.

After a while Emma turned her head to watch Regina drive and she took in the look of calm determination on Regina's face.  _God, she is so painfully beautiful. How the hell does anyone look like that?_  Emma wondered to herself.

"Regina?"

"Yes, dear?"

Emma hesitated before asking, "were you… beautiful when you were younger?"

Regina gave her a quick glare before turning her face back to the road and snarled "you mean unlike now when I am hideous?"

"God no! You're freakin' perfect and you know it. There is no way you'd act the way you do if you didn't know that you look like a damn Greek goddess or something", Emma grunted.

Regina gave a laugh. "I wouldn't go as far as using the word goddess, but yes, I am aware that I do turn some heads, just like you do. There is hardly a man who doesn't go all starry-eyed when he sees you, neither here in Culltown or back home."

"Oh you remember that, huh?" Emma grinned.

Regina gave her another glare before fixing her eyes back on the road. "I know that we are both perceived as attractive people, but I also know that superficial beauty is a minor part of a person and not all that important for anyone in the long run. I'm sure our looks have helped us a lot in our lives, but I'm also sure that it has gotten us into trouble a few times. Good looks will only get you so far."

"Yeah, that's true. But you didn't answer my question."

Regina let out a breath and a wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows as she thought about Emma's question. "I… I suppose that I was. I was probably attractive enough to draw the attention of men at least. I think I can remember suitors and… a husband. However, if my emotional response to the marriage is anything to go by, it wasn't a happy union. Why do you ask?"

"I just wondered. For someone so collected, intelligent, skilful and well, attractive you seem kinda… insecure. I mean, I sense that you hesitate to take what you want, you know? Like you feel you don't deserve it or that you can't have it? I wondered if maybe you didn't grow up this… perfect", Emma said hesitantly and shrugged.

"Stop bandying that word about! I am certainly not  _perfect_ , no one is", Regina snapped and then was quiet for a while before continuing, "I suppose you do have a point, but my reluctance to act to get what I want isn't rooted in insecurity of my looks. It's more my personality or to be precise,  _my history_. I… I believe I was filled with pain and anger and it caused me to do horrible things. When you carry that realisation around, it is hard to feel that you deserve anything… good."

Emma gave her a searching look. "Is that why you haven't flirted with anyone since we got here? Or even talked to anyone, well except that Thom guy but you only spoke to him because he wouldn't leave you alone."

"Men! They so rarely understand the fine art of taking no for an answer", Regina snarled and checked the review mirror to see a pickup truck speeding up behind them.

"Don't change the topic, Regina. You are a good person, I can see that in you. So whatever you did, it isn't who you are now. You should reach out for what you want and take it, because you deserve it", Emma said, still hesitantly as if she was walking very close to the edge of a precipice. Did Regina know that she meant herself? If the brunette had no idea what she was talking about then she must have been wrong and Regina wasn't interested in her at all.

Regina hummed her response distractedly as she took another look at the truck which was now getting very close to them. She sped up slightly but they just sped up to match her.

"I wish those brats would just overtake us.  _Cull_ town really needs to  _cull_  its young or at least give them something meaningful to do, the amount of out of work teenagers and twentysomethings that litter the streets is ridiculous. All scrawny, drugged up to the eyes and looking for trouble", Regina grumbled.

"Yeah, their system doesn't seem to be working. There's way too much crime and too many deprived, jaded kids. It makes you sad", Emma agreed and turned to look through the back window to see a beat-up pickup filled with kids around their early twenties. Music was blaring out of the open windows and there seemed to be a party going on in the back. Emma's security alarm pinged and she felt a sudden need to sit these kids down and talk to them.

"Anyway", Regina continued, annoyed at the interruption and determined not to let the unruly youths know they had disturbed her. "Is there any way we can go back to you giving me compliments or is my psychological baggage the only topic available to me?"

Emma tore her gaze away from the kids and looked at Regina with a smirk. "You want compliments, huh?"

"Well, not just from anyone but I have to admit that it is… nice to see that your taste is improving, exchanging your last  _dark and sultry_  model to one that is sober and actually washes", Regina said as she tried to keep herself from being disgusted at placing herself in a sexual fantasy/physical type category. The things she was ready to do to find out if Emma had feelings for her was downright frightening to the proud woman.

"You not only wash, you generally smell incredible", Emma said flirtatiously, with hope of this actually  _meaning something_  singing in her blood.

Regina stopped the smug smirk that was playing at the corners of her mouth and pretended to be very focussed on the road as she replied, "I'm glad you like my perfume."

"Oh, it's not just your perfume,  _Madam Mayor_. Your natural scent is even better." Emma said as she tried to figure out if she was just giving Regina an even bigger ego or actually romancing the older woman.

Regina gave a chuckle. "And what would you know about my natural scent?"

Emma looked defiant. "Well, you did sleep next to me last night… damn  _closely_ , I might add. Then there is the fact that your pillow smells amazing."

Regina ignored the comment about sleeping so close and rounded on the last comment. "My pillow? But we slept on  _your_  pillow in  _your_  bed."

 _Damn_ , Emma thought.  _I walked straight into that one_. "Um, well, I might have smelled your pillow when I was in your room. You know, when Killian picked up his stuff." Emma knew she was blushing, she knew that she was blushing like hell.

Regina turned to Emma with a huge, heartfelt smile and opened her mouth to reply. However, Emma never got the chance to find out what Regina was going to say as this was when the pickup truck hit them.

Luckily for them the truck full of young, disappointed-in-life thugs didn't hit them with full force, no they had known what they were doing, they hit the left side of the expensive car with their bumper just lightly enough not to properly collide but hard enough to set the car reeling off to the side and into the ditch.

Regina tried to counteract the movement the entire way but it was to no avail, she was just about to use her magic to steer the car back correctly when they swerved off the road completely and plunged into the dark ditch.

The first thing that Emma felt when she woke up was that she felt a bit dizzy and that her chest and shoulder really hurt where her seatbelt was. She realised that she had been really lucky and thanked her seatbelt that she didn't have a head full of windshield. She groaned and tried to open her eyes, as she managed it she turned towards the driver's seat with a shouted "Regina!" She saw the brunette sitting unresponsive with her head flopped towards the window. Emma quickly unsnapped her seatbelt and moved over to her.

"Dammit, Regina answer me! Wake up", she whined and felt Regina's pulse on her soft neck. It was beating normally and Emma took a breath of relief. She reached into the pocket of her leather jacket and got her phone out, she quickly rang 191 and as soon as she heard a voice on the line she alerted emergency service about what had happened and roughly where they were. When they had promised that they were sending an ambulance she put the phone back and returned to checking up on Regina.

She very gently turned Regina's head towards her own and carefully patted the brunette's cheek and whispered "come on, beautiful…. wake up". When that didn't work she closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Regina's and tried to keep tears back as she mumbled "just wake up, please. We were getting so close, I was almost at the point where I could tell you what you mean to me. Wake up so I can flirt with you and annoy you and… and…. tell you that I love you. Please don't leave me, I…"

Suddenly there were soft, full lips against her own and a nose bumping against hers. Emma startled at the touch and her first thought was to break away and ask what was going on but then those lips, those lips felt so good against her own, so soft and so supple and she gave up everything and surrendered herself to the feel of those lips.

They couldn't stop. It was like floodgates had opened and now the kisses kept coming, they kissed in every configuration possible, upper and lower lips being sucked in between lips and faces turning to try to get even closer, to get more and more of the fevered and suddenly deathly important kisses.

It wasn't long until that wasn't enough, Emma whimpered with the urge to be closer to Regina and to have more of this while it lasted. She pressed against Regina's lips with her tongue and soon the lips parted to allow Emma access.

Regina's mouth was warm and welcoming and the blonde explored it greedily, Emma's heart pounded painfully in her chest and she felt unshed tears crowding in her eyes. They both clung on to each other as if they were keeping each other from drowning and the world around them was an insignificant, cruel thing that had to be kept at bay with more kisses and more touches. Their hands struggled against layers of clothes and bruises from the impact and yet they found small parts of skin to touch.

They broke apart painfully at the sound of nearing sirens and stared at each other, amazed at the feelings which now had stopped simmering under the surface to boil in everything that they were. Their lips were bruised from the forceful kissing, their clothes were tugged out of place and Regina's dark plum lipstick had smeared around Emma's mouth. Regina quickly gave a magical flick of her hand and they were presentable again, just as a paramedic knocked on the window and shouted "are you ok?"


	17. Purples, blues and dark crimsons leading to cream, gold and deliciously pink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Here we go, kittens. I know you all waited patiently for Hook to be gone and the ladies to get together physically, despite memory loss and insecurities, and here is the reward for all of us (or at least the start of it). NSFW.

After endless tests at the hospital, all showing good health except for a few bruises and bumps, they were taken to the police station to tell their story and describe the pickup truck and the people in it.

The police officer who took their statements started off with getting a physical description of the vehicle, the driver and the passengers. Then he looked at a few pieces of paper in front of him and muttered "I see you have run into trouble with some of our delinquents before" with a glance at Emma.

"Yeah, although I'd guess that she was a little older than the kids who ran us off the road tonight and I think she was a bit more dangerous too", Emma said grimly.

The officer wrote some notes on a pad. "I see. So you both believe that these kids weren't trying to cause serious damage?"

"I'd say that what they did to my car was pretty serious", Regina snapped and then clenched her jaw in fury.

Emma gave her a calming look and then turned back to the officer. "I don't think they were trying to hurt us or kill us if that's what you mean. They slowed down and made sure they just tapped the side of the car. I think they might have been drunk or high and saw an expensive car and well… got pissed off and decided to teach us a lesson."

"However, that does not mean that you shouldn't find these delinquents and make sure they are  _severely punished_ ", Regina grumbled.

The officer turned to her and patiently replied "Of course not. We will do everything in our power to find the truck and the kids and then make sure that justice is served. My superior informed me that you will probably be receiving a call from the Mayor's office regarding the car soon."

Regina gave a nod and then there was only a few formalities to clear up before they were sent home.

* * *

After they had been given a ride back to the apartment they had a tense and quiet elevator ride up to their floor. Neither of them knew how to talk about the kiss nor Emma's panicked admittance of her feelings.

Regina was watching the ceiling and stood very still with her hand on the rail that ran across the back of the elevator wall. Emma watched her as closely as she dared, wondering if it had been the shock or confusion that had made Regina kiss her, but then no one kissed like that unless they  _meant it_.

Emma stood back, closer to Regina, and placed her hand next to Regina's on the railing. Then as the elevator passed floor after floor and neared theirs, she slowly moved her hand so that her fingers brushed over Regina's and rested on top of the brunette's knuckles. Emma watched Regina's face, not breathing from the worry of how the older woman would react, and saw the brunette give a small wary smile at the touch.

_Bingo_ , Emma thought and grinned hugely as she let her whole hand cover Regina's. The elevator stopped at their floor with a familiar  _ding_  and the door opened. Without looking at the blonde, Regina purred "don't look so smug, Miss Swan. It doesn't suit you" and sauntered out towards their door while searching out her keys in her handbag. Emma couldn't be sure but she thought that Regina was swaying her hips a little extra as she walked.  _Double bingo._

When Emma closed the front door behind her she winced at the pain in her shoulder. She had experienced much worse pain than this, or at least she vaguely seemed to remember that she had, but that didn't mean that the ugly multi-coloured bruising from the belt didn't still sting like hell. She realised that it must be worse for Regina though, as she had the same bruising but also a bump on the side of her head where it had connected with the car window as they landed in the ditch.

Regina put her handbag down and turned to Emma. "Alright, now, remove your clothes."

Half in shock and half impressed Emma just breathed "Regina!"

Regina rolled her eyes. "I mean take your clothes off where you have been hurt so I can heal you."

"Oh, well that's disappointing", Emma muttered as she stripped down to just her jeans and bra. She walked into Regina's bedroom, for some reason she felt more comfortable there than in the room she used to share with Killian, and sat down on the bed.

"Ok, Madame Mayor. Do your thing!"

Regina stared at Emma's almost bared torso, taking in the just visible six pack on the slender stomach and the petite breasts still held tightly in the white bra, but mostly she looked at the giant bruise running over the pale skin. It looked so horrible to see this painful thing marring the otherwise flawless skin of the wonderful woman in front of her. Regina wondered if she had ever wanted to fix something as much as she wanted to fix this.

"Lay down", she croaked in a voice low with empathy and a small tint of arousal.

Emma felt her body respond to that low voice and those words with hardening nipples and goosebumps. She slowly laid down and watched as Regina walked over to her to then sit down next to her on the bed.

Regina looked into Emma's sea-green eyes and her voice came out as a whisper as she said "let me know if this hurts." Emma nodded and gave a faint smile.

Regina gently placed her hand on Emma's skin, just below the bruising as to not start off too rough. The blonde gave a faint moan as the slightly cooler hand laid against her warm skin. In a small voice Emma muttered "is there any way I can get away with pretending that noise was due to pain?"

Regina gave a little laugh, but it was a laugh filled with warmth and not a drop of her usual sarcasm. "Actually, I was rather hoping that the sound would be due to anything  _but_  pain. I'm going to start on the damage now", Regina replied softly as she once again gazed into the green eyes for clearance to start.

Emma gave another shy little nod and then realised that she was barely breathing. She forced herself to take a deep breath and was happily surprised when she saw how her expanding chest drew Regina's gaze to her breasts.

Regina quickly looked away and cleared her throat discreetly. Her hand slowly slid across the bruised skin, making the purples, blues and dark crimsons turn back into Emma's creamy skin tone under her palm. Then she got to the bra and with a hoarse voice she asked "would you like to take that off so I can continue or will you heal this part yourself later on?"

Emma looked up at her and tried to hide how breathless she was as she answered "I… I can do that? Heal it myself?"

Regina cleared her throat again. "Yes, it is slightly harder to heal oneself but it is certainly possible."

"Um, no, I should probably save my magic for when I heal you", Emma replied and tried not to think about Regina taking her clothes off for her.

Then she sat up, quickly unclasped her bra and placed it on the bed next to her. Suddenly self-conscious and a little nervous Emma laid back down.

Regina could hear the loud thrum of her pulse in her ears and found her breath catching slightly. She tried so hard to only focus on the belt mark of crimson, purple and blue between the petite mounds but after a while she failed and her eyes darted over to a peach-coloured nipple on a soft little breast.

Emma saw the terrified look on Regina's face and it gave her a smidgeon of extra confidence to say, "you… you can look if you want?"

Suddenly Regina looked like she might faint from embarrassment and the normally so dignified woman seemed flustered and unsure of how to behave. Without answering she continued healing the damaged muscles and skin until Emma's torso looked pristine.

Just as Emma was about to thank her and get dressed again, all while hiding her feeling of rejection, Regina gave a strangled little whimper and gazed longingly at the soft little mounds.

All of a sudden, Emma had a feeling that she must have more experience with this kind of thing than Regina and so she gently took hold of the brunette's right hand, admiring once again the feel of the soft veins adorning the back of it, and placed it over her nearest breast. Regina noisily sucked in breath at the feel of the breast now cupped in her hand and gave it a very gentle little squeeze, this made Emma moan and Regina stared at her as if to see if she had done something wrong.

The sudden innocence and fear on Regina's perfect features tugged at Emma's heart and she gave the older woman a reassuring smile. Regina gave a faint smile back and gave the breast another squeeze. It felt so much like the Regina was trying out a strange new toy that Emma couldn't help but laugh and after a reproachful look at the giggling blonde, Regina gave a quick laugh too.

Almost sadly Regina let go of the breast and stood up. Slowly and surprisingly shyly, the brunette undressed. She took off all of her clothes, which she certainly didn't have to do for healing purposes, but Emma certainly wasn't going to complain.

Then she was gloriously naked. This fully grown, normally quite daunting woman stood naked in front of Emma like a frightened virgin. Emma rushed up from the bed and pulled the brunette into a comforting embrace and kissed her deeply.

Regina's bruises hurt like hell when Emma's body collided with hers but she didn't care. The feel of Emma's strong, slim arms around her and the supple, half-naked body against her own was all that mattered. The kiss that they shared contained so much tenderness and pent up love that it almost made Regina feel dizzy, because of that it was a relief when Emma turned her around and guided her back to the bed where she herself had laid before.

When Regina was laid out on the bed, a little more comfortable with being naked in front of Emma now but still insecure, Emma couldn't help but allow her eyes to wander over the golden-skinned body in complete awe. Every curve and line of Regina was perfect in her eyes and she ached to rid Regina of the painful mark across her chest to return the beautiful body to its normal state.

She sat down next to Regina and licked her dry lips instinctively before whispering "how do I…. how do I do this?"

Regina gave a small smirk at Emma's big eyes and licked lips, clearly the blonde liked what she saw and that made Regina's heart give a leap in her aching chest. She rested herself on her elbows so she could look Emma in the eyes as she explained.

"You place your hand just a whisper over the skin, so that you can still feel it but that you won't hurt me, and then you move your hand along over the damaged tissue as you focus on trying to mend or  _heal_ , if you will. Imagine what it is supposed to do and the magic will do it."

Emma still looked unsure and more than a little confused.

Regina sighed patiently and tried to rephrase, although it was hard as all her blood seemed to be flowing to other parts than her brain right now. "Just think thoughts about mending things, fixing broken items and returning things to normal and the magic will do the actual surgical bits inside the tissue. You only need the correct intention and the magic does the rest."

Emma shrugged unconvinced. "Ok, I'll try it. Just let me know if I move your ribs into your lungs or something."

Regina just scoffed and laid back down. Emma placed her hand above Regina's hip and tried to conjure images of mending things or returning them to their normal state. Images flashed through her mind and she saw herself mending a fence to keep a Dalmatian from running away through a gap in it, combing her fingers through short dark tousled hair on a boy's head and of finding a lost book of fairytales and wiping the dust and muddy water off it to present it to an overjoyed Henry.

Suddenly she heard Regina's voice. "Now,  _that_ , Miss Swan was impressive for a first time. Well, a first time since you lost your memory at least."

Emma opened her eyes and found that her hand had moved as far as up to Regina's solar plexus and all the skin below it looked perfectly mended. Emma wondered why Regina had chosen to speak now and not just let her concentrate until she finished the whole stretch but then she realised that her hand was now very close to Regina's breasts. Was the older woman hoping she would take a break in the healing to cop a feel? The idea felt as silly as it did arousing and Emma decided that even if that hadn't been Regina's motive for interrupting her focus, it was what she was going to do.

She closed her eyes again and pretended that she was attempting to do magic, but instead she moved her hand over to ghost over the skin of Regina's breast. The brunette gasped as Emma's hand closed around the supple mound and Emma, in a detached way, mused that Regina's breast was slightly larger than her own and more firm, if Henry was Regina's son then she doubted that the brunette had given birth to and breastfed the boy. Then the detached thoughts were pushed away by ones of pure lust as the nipple adorning the breast in her hand hardened noticeably against her palm.

Emma gave an involuntary, feral growl that emanated from the very depth of her chest and Regina gasped softly in response. Emma could feel a wet heat burning in her sex and suddenly she wanted nothing more than to take Regina  _hard_.

Regina panted, "that is not healing my bruise, Miss Swan."

"No, but I think it might just be making us both feel a lot better", Emma mumbled, lost in her arousal.

Regina gave a little laugh, one that sounded much more lascivious and confident than Emma had ever heard it, and then took Emma's hand to place it above her bruise back on her chest. "Don't lose focus,  _Miss Swan_. Finish what you started."

Emma whimpered but tried to focus on mending damage again. It was so damn hard now though. All her mind wanted to conjure was images of Regina bucking against her in lust, Regina suckling softly on her breasts, Regina's face as her fingers slipped inside her and… with a desperate groan she gave up.

She looked at Regina with her brow furrowed and her mouth turned down in a disappointed way as she panted, "I'm sorry, I can't focus. All I can think about now is making love to you. I'm so sorry Regina."

Regina smiled and gave a tinkling laugh in her rich, dulcet tones. "Now that might just be my favourite compliment from you", she said and sat up to kiss Emma briefly.

Then she placed her own hand above the remainder of the bruise and closed her eyes. It didn't take her long to heal herself until the skin was its true colours once more. The second she was done Emma launched forwards and clasped her mouth to a dusky rose nipple. Regina gave a girlish gasp at the warm mouth engulfing her sensitive nipple so suddenly, but then smirked and let her fingers nestle in Emma's blonde tresses to keep her head in place.

Slowly they sank back down on the bed together and Emma continued to alternate between letting her tongue flick over the hard nub and sucking on it gently. Regina moaned and unconsciously spread her legs below Emma.

Emma felt like she was drunk all of a sudden, she had never felt anything like this arousal with Killian. Right now it was like she had waited a lifetime to devour the woman underneath her and now finally, she had permission. Regina's nipple left her mouth with a wet pop as Emma lifted her head to stare dazedly into Regina's eyes. The near-intoxicated lust was just as present in the chocolate-brown eyes meeting hers as in her own green ones and she knew how much they both needed this.

Emma began to place frenzied, wet kisses all over Regina's stomach and down to her pelvis. She just couldn't get enough and was quite convinced that she couldn't possibly desire Regina more, but she was wrong, because the second she smelled the heady scent of Regina's wetness she knew that she wanted her in an almost animal way. She had to  _have_  the source of that scent and without consciously deciding to, she placed her mouth on the needy, wet velvet.

Regina nearly screamed with want as she felt Emma's warm mouth between her legs. Suddenly she could feel soft lips, nibbling teeth and of course an eager tongue devouring her sensitive folds and focussing largely on her achingly hard clit. Regina didn't know if it had just been too long since she last made love or if her desire for Emma was just  _that_  strong but it only took her a minute or two before she was coming against Emma's wild mouth.

She moaned Emma's name and took a painfully hard grip on Emma's hair as she bucked her sex against Emma's hungry mouth and just came and came until she saw bright colours behind her closed eyelids.

Then she relaxed down onto the bed, completely spent and hoarsely moaned "oh Emma."

Emma still felt her adrenaline rushing through her and her blood pumping desire through every inch of her body, she couldn't stop now, not even to give Regina the well-deserved rest she needed. She hobbled to her feet, woozy with desire, and yanked her jeans, panties and socks off in one painfully clumsy manoeuvre. She knew that she had probably scratched her skin doing that, but she really couldn't care less. She just had to have more of this. More of Regina. Right now.

Acting purely on instinct at this point she raised Regina's leg until the brunette's thigh was lifted slightly off the bed and then she straddled it. When her shaved sex landed hotly on Regina's slender thigh the older woman groaned her approval and spurred Emma on. Roughly and desperately Emma began to ride Regina's thigh, giving lustful little cries of need as she rubbed her swollen clit against the taut muscles of Regina's leg.

Regina opened her eyes as soon as she had the energy to do so and was treated to the sight of Emma riding her with animalistic need and power. The feeling of all that wetness and the alternate sensations of the wet folds and the tiny, hard nub on her leg lit Regina's fire once more.

Just as the brunette was trying to decide what she could do to help Emma feel even more pleasure, the younger woman was enveloped by her orgasm. It flowed through her in large, powerful waves and seemed to take all her stress, fear, guilt and worry with it as it slowly ebbed out. Emma's every muscle felt relaxed and supple now but the tension of sexual need had not left any of her erogenous zones. She was satisfied but her body thrummed with a reminder that it would be wanting more of that. Soon.

She allowed herself to fall down on top of Regina as the last of the orgasm left her and she panted "god, Regina. Oh my frickin' god" in the brunette's ear.

Regina laughed happily and purred "I told you to stop calling me a goddess" before grabbing Emma's face and kissing the taste of her own wetness off of them.


	18. Cardamom and chicory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: Once again… not safe for work. Note that due to this chapter I have changed the rating here from M to E. Thank you for all your comments and reviews, they are so important to me.

It was getting late now but they just couldn't stop touching, kissing and exploring each other. As Regina once again slid her index finger inside Emma, and revelled at the feel of the warm, wet velvet enveloping her digit, she knew that this would have to be the last orgasm for a while or one of them would surely have an aneurysm due to the extreme pleasure they were putting their fatigued bodies through.

However rushed their first orgasms had been, the next set were achieved with patience. Reverently they had touched each other and in trembling voices asked "does this feel good?" The lack of memories meant they were both gingerly exploring new territory and the very new and fragile romantic connection between them amplified that. Every pleasured moan and heart-throbbing orgasm was a victory they won by testing things out.

As Regina gently kissed Emma's pubic mound while letting her finger dance inside the blonde for the second time that night, she felt a little disappointed that she was only mirroring what Emma had done to her. As lost as they both were, it was obvious that Emma had clearer instincts on what would work and what wouldn't. It was when Regina had attempted to slide her sex against Emma's when the blonde had muttered "scissoring never works that well" and they had both realised that Emma had experience with women, although she clearly couldn't remember the particulars.

Regina slid another finger in and smiled blissfully at the way Emma's entrance embraced and almost sucked at her fingers. Maybe it didn't matter that Emma knew more about this than she did, but she had to admit that her hurt pride and that mournful feeling of sadness lingered.

The sadness had been a surprise to Regina but she had soon realised that its source was that if Emma was versed in same sex love making and she wasn't… they clearly weren't a couple back in Storybrooke. Unless they were a couple who didn't make love but then considering their passion over the last few hours she found it hard to believe that they could have been an official couple without tearing each other's clothes off three times a day.

She chased her thoughts away and enjoyed the feel of Emma. She laid down on top of the blonde and felt every inch of her slightly shorter frame touch down on Emma's warmer skin. It felt so right and so impossibly good to have her body spread out on Emma's and her fingers inside her, the way they connected and melted into one felt like the most wonderful blessing. Regina enjoyed feeling Emma's panting breaths and whimpers against her own face and quietly whispered "I want to spend my life like this, on you, in you, with you."

"Wow, who knew you were so  _sappy_ ", Emma panted between moans with her eyes twinkling with mischief. But her words didn't matter as the absolute adoration on her face was clear for anyone to see.

Regina smirked at her and let her lips ghost over Emma's as she simultaneously rubbed her fingers on that slick spot on the front of Emma's passage and purred "careful, Miss Swan. You want to keep me  _sappy_  and not aggravate me, I become dangerous when annoyed.  _I bite_." To demonstrate the truth of her words, she clapped her jaws together so violently and so fast that a small rush of wind from the movement hit Emma's face.

Emma tried to get her faculties back after that, she so easily came undone when Regina's fingers rubbed  _right there_ , and replied "I'm sure you do. Just the other day I was thinking about how feline you are. My little biting kitty."

Regina stopped her fingers and glared dangerously at Emma. In a voice so low and menacing that it made the hairs on Emma's arms stand up she growled, "I am not  _a kitty_. I am a blood-drenched lioness, a vicious tigress or a stealthy black panther that comes for you in the night and eats you before you even notice me."

Emma started to desperately undulate her hips to make Regina's motionless fingers stimulate her again and panted "oh, you'll  _come for me in the night_ , alright. I'm sure you know that you can eat me anytime you like, my elegant, fierce lioness."

"That's better", Regina purred and began to rub hard at Emma's pleasure spot until Emma rolled her eyes back, held her breath and quivered violently with the orgasm that rushed her tired body for the fourth time that night.

Emma wrapped her arms around Regina and held her tight as the last spasms of pleasure left her system. Regina returned the tight embrace and kissed Emma's sweet smelling hair as she smiled at how the cocky, wilful blonde was the one who was actually a sweet little kitty. Or maybe more of a puppy?

Regina could feel that Emma was coated in a light sheen of sweat and didn't want her lover to get uncomfortably hot so she gracefully moved off the taut, over-heated body and laid down next to her. Emma moved after her and laid on her side so she could rest her head on Regina's chest and allow her hand to leisurely play in the soft black curls at the apex of Regina's thighs.

Regina took shallow little breaths, as she always did, she didn't think she had been able to take large, relaxed breaths for many years now but she wasn't sure why. Emma watched the rise and fall of Regina's chest and proudly admired the love bites she had placed on the brunette's left breast.

Regina would never admit it but she liked the way Emma casually played with her pubic hair right now. It felt erotic of course, but also… natural. Like they should have laid like this every night after making love.

The thing that she would find truly hard to admit though, was that it felt slightly possessive and that  _she liked it_. Regina had a feeling that she was a woman who didn't take well to being owned but when Emma showed any sign of claiming her it felt… strangely exciting and far from the feelings of dread, anger and helplessness that she normally would attach to being possessed by someone. Somehow Regina knew that Emma didn't want to  _own_  her, she just wanted to be the one to make her happy and that the blonde felt grateful to be the one who got to touch her like this. Regina was in full control and yet wonderfully out of it and it was strangely intoxicating.

However, Regina would have felt a lot better if she could just shake that discomfort of Emma being more experienced with sex with women.

"What's wrong", a sleepy voice emanating from around her shoulder asked.

"Excuse me?"

"You went all tense just then. What's wrong?"

Regina considering smoothing it all over or coming up with some lie but then what was the point? Considering how close they felt right now, any lie would be easily detected.

"I… I was thinking about how you have clearly been with women before and I… have not", Regina replied solemnly.

"Well that didn't stop you from absolutely knocking my socks off. Hell, you might have even knocked me up! I bet my body just started sprouting your babies somewhere after orgasm number two", Emma said with a chuckle.

Regina swatted her arm. "Don't be absurd! You have proven beyond all compare that I know how to pleasure you, it's just that I feel slightly inadequate, I suppose."

Emma placed a wet kiss on her shoulder and mumbled "well, isn't that kinda fair, though? I  _should_  be better than you at playing with pussy. I mean you are better than me at driving, fashion, reading and cooking. Like how you can pick out what a scent or a flavour is, you know, like you knew that the weird perfume that women here wear was aniseed or funnel."

Regina swatted her arm again. "Firstly, it's  _fennel_. Secondly, don't use such vulgar language."

Emma looked puzzled as she said, "what? Oh, you mean  _pussy_? You prefer the C word, then?"

Another swat on the arm, this time harder so that Emma almost stopped playing with Regina's bush. "Ok, alright, sorry. Fine, I'll say  _honeypot_  or something. Anyway, you know what… there is a way we can use your skill with identifying stuff like that right now", Emma said excitedly.

"Oh really? How  _thrilling_ ", Regina replied sardonically.

Emma wasn't deterred. "Yeah, when I was going down on you I kept thinking that the taste of you reminded me of something. You can help me figure out what."

Regina rolled her eyes. "Might it have been  _honeypot_? Considering you seem to have gulped down quite a bit if it in your day?" Regina replied with just a hint of jealousy.

Emma tugged at a little, dark curl as a punishment for the tone and continued, "no, not just that. I mean, we are technically just animals so our juices do taste a bit, you know, like food. I mean no one expects it to taste like bubble gum or champagne, right? But amongst that savoury taste I could pick out something in yours that I really liked and that I don't have in mine."

"Taste yourself often do you?" Regina sassed.

Emma gave another little tug of a curl and Regina hissed "do that again and I'll shave it all off like you have!"

"No, please don't! I looks so sexy against your skin, please leave it. I'll play nice with it", Emma promised.

Regina smirked proudly and muttered "as you wish. Now, you were saying?"

Emma continued running her fingers through the curls and speaking. "I tasted myself on your fingers and on your mouth and yeah, it lacks something that yours has. So how about I let you taste us both and you tell me what that yummy flavour is? Please?"

"I can't believe I am agreeing to this, but fine, let me try mine first though as I'm afraid I might get carried away if I get more of you", Regina replied calmly.

Emma nodded and dipped her fingers beyond the soft curls and into the wet, sensitive folds below. The wet heat down there felt wonderful and Emma had to force herself not to get carried away.

"You know, the taste is probably less diluted inside you. Let me just slide a finger in to get the honey from the bottom of the jar", Emma said with a grin.

"I no longer have  _a clue_  of what you are talking about", Regina said before she became too breathless from the intrusion of a finger slid deep inside her and swirled around.

Regina gave a muted groan as the finger slid back out and Emma vowed to herself to make love to Regina again as soon as they had settled this.

Emma brought the drenched finger up to Regina's full lips and watched the kiss-bruised lips close around her finger and suck it into her mouth. Emma gave a loud, depraved moan at the look and feel of the finger sliding into Regina's beautiful mouth and the brunette gave her a flirtatious and almost arrogant wink in return.

When Regina released Emma's finger from the suckling and licking she had just treated it to, she saw the same raw lust in the sea-green eyes as she had when they began making love several hours ago. Regina knew very well that she was about to be pleasured  _very_  thoroughly  _very_  soon.

"Cardamom", she stated in a detached way.

"Huh?" Emma breathed at her, completely lost in clit-thudding arousal now.

Regina looked at her lover with the glance of a predator watching its prey crawling towards her,  _begging to be swallowed up_ , and purred "my  _pussy_  tastes of cardamom."

When Emma just swallowed hard in response, Regina took the reins and unapologetically reached her hand down and thrust a finger in between Emma's labias, running it back and forth along the younger woman's slit for a while until she stopped by giving a quick, merciless rub of Emma's sore clit. The blonde groaned with want and helplessness and Regina revelled in the power and pride of how she could make Emma unravel for her.

She brought the dripping finger up to her mouth and began to spread the hot juices over her lips. Emma almost keened as she saw her wetness seeping into the slight indentation of Regina's lip scar. Then Regina's long tongue came out to caress her coated lips and to empty the groove of her scar of its new contents.

"This is trickier. I think you taste a little sweeter than I do, but also there is a hint of… chicory", Regina diagnosed as she licked her lips once more.

The sound that came out of Emma's mouth wasn't actually words. It was just a needy whimper mixed with an arousal-maddened growl and Regina  _loved it_. She thought to herself that turning Emma on was the best thing she had ever experienced and she had to take the blonde right now or lose her mind.

"I should probably have a deeper taste, though. To ascertain that it really is chicory that I'm discerning", Regina purred as she stared down at Emma's shaved and thereby sensually  _exposed_  sex.

"Like hell you will", Emma growled, suddenly finding her words. "It's my turn to fuck you and I am going to lick every last drop of cardamom-flavoured honey out of that delicious thing".

Regina felt a shiver at those words and the roughness of Emma's voice and couldn't hide a slight tremor as she hissed "isn't there a way we can both have what we want?"

Emma looked at her, eyes heavy and dark with animal desire and smirked as she purred "I think it's time I show you what a 69 is, Madam Mayor."


	19. Goodnight, good morning and meeting old acquaintances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Special thanks goes out to the lovely Ashley on twitter who tried to get #Cardamom trending after last chapter, I have the best and funniest readers! Thank you to everyone for your kind words about this fic and for your enthusiasm about me possibly writing another of my Enchanted Forest stories after this one!

Their first 69 had been a huge success and so after having just climaxed, about a minute after Regina did, Emma dragged herself around until she was the right way up and clumsily fell onto her lover.

Regina gave an angered sound of pain. "Be careful!"

"So sorry, babe", Emma panted so out of breath that the words were barely discernible.

"That's alright, but don't call me  _babe_ ", Regina replied, still slightly out of breath as well.

"Right, yeah, sorry. Wow, I haven't come this much since I was 12 and discovered masturbation in the last week of springbreak. I spent that entire week doused in cheap cherry perfume to hide the constant smell of, well, sex."

Regina laughed and took a few breaths to steady her voice before replying. "Thank you for that insight into teenage Emma's life. Wouldn't it have been easier to just wash more and change your underwear frequently?"

"Nope, not when you foster mom does the laundry and thinks it's a waste to wash things too often. Anyway, I was usually doing it either in my room or behind the bushes at the back of the garden. Not really great places to wash, ya know?"

Regina chuckled. "Of all the memories your dirty little mind might have recovered, it chose this. Wait, did you say  _foster mom_?"

Emma's eyes darkened as she remembered a feeling of abandonment and loneliness. "Yeah. I think I was raised like that."

Not knowing quite what to say to that Regina merely ran her hand through Emma's blonde tresses which were wet with sweat and god knows what else. Emma burrowed her face into the crook of Regina's neck and whispered, "can I stay here tonight?"

Regina kept caressing Emma's hair as she thought about that for the merest of seconds and then very quietly said "try to leave and I'll tie you to this bed."

Emma gave a relieved laugh. "Save the tying up for tomorrow, I want to be really awake to enjoy it."

Regina felt a buzz of pleasure starting in her lower abdomen and shooting down between her legs at the idea of actually tying the beautiful blonde to the bed and vowed to herself to broach the subject with Emma again another time.

Suddenly she felt Emma's breathing get deeper and felt the long breaths of sleep being exhaled against the skin on her neck. She smiled proudly and gave the soft, blonde hair a last caress before whispering "goodnight, my sweet."

* * *

The next morning there was a loud bang coming from the apartment above theirs, it was shortly followed by someone screeching obscenities ending with "stupid, crap table!"

Clearly the upstairs neighbour, Mr Crab, had somehow knocked his table over and the bang had woken both the exhausted lovers. They had been sleeping on their sides, facing each other, and as the bang was heard they both snapped their eyes open in alarm.

As they got the explanation from the cursing from above they transferred their fear from the noise to their very new situation, both of them stared into each other's eyes unblinkingly, frightened that the other one would be wracked with regret.

But then Emma beamed her puppy smile and Regina couldn't help but smile back. Despite the pillow crease on Regina's face and the sleep grit mixed with smudged mascara in the corners of Emma's eyes they both thought that the other one was the most beautiful thing they had ever seen.

Morning breath or no morning breath, the kiss they shared felt like heaven.

"Coffee,  _Miss Swan_?"

"Yes please,  _Madam Mayor_."

* * *

"You sure you don't mind coming out for a walk with me?" Emma asked as she put her boots on.

"No, of course not. Someone has to keep an eye on you and I seem to have become rather… fond of your company", Regina said casually as she buttoned her long coat.

" _Fond_ , huh? Yeah, you seemed very  _fond_  of me when you whimpered and begged for more of me last night", Emma jested with a smug grin.

"Oh, do be quiet or you'll be taking a walk without me."

Having finished putting her boots on, Emma stood up and gave Regina a tender kiss on the lips before whispering "sorry, babe."

" _Emma_."

"Oh yeah, I can't call you  _babe_. Is  _honey_  ok?"

"I have a name, but fine, if you feel the need to show your appreciation with terms of endearments I suppose I would prefer…." Regina grimaced as if it hurt her to say the words, " _my love_  or  _dearest_."

"Nah, too formal for me, it wouldn't suit me. Can we compromise on _sweetheart_?" Emma asked as she headed for the front door.

Regina sighed. "Very well,  _sweetheart_  will have to do, I suppose."

Emma smiled and opened the door for Regina as she said "after you,  _sweetheart_."

Regina rolled her eyes and strode out with her annoyance being spoken through the loud clicking of her heels on the tiled floor of the hallway.

They both got into the elevator and waited for the doors to close, but before it did, there he was. Thom. He looked at the two women with trepidation and then smiled nervously.

"Good morning, Thom. Is everything well with you?" Regina asked somewhat stiffly.

He didn't make eye contact as she replied, "what? Oh yes, I'm fine. You?"

Emma grinned and wondered if he had heard them last night. This was just too good of a chance to miss, she put her arm around Regina's slender waist and pulled the brunette into a brief but passionate kiss before releasing her and beaming at Thom as she said "we are just peachy!"

Regina wanted to be angry at Emma for the display but the look of absolute pride and childish glee on Emma's face made it impossible to carry a grudge. Well, two could play this game.

"I do apologize for her, Thom. Ever since Killian left her to join another harem across town she has been overly  _affectionate_  with me. It's relentless! I'm considering calling in reinforcements", Regina cooed and pursed her lips sensually.

Thom just stared confusedly and looked like he wanted to fall through the floor. "Oh. Um, right. I… I… I didn't know he had moved out."

Regina gave a look of mock-sadness. "I'm afraid so. He couldn't stand how insatiable and depraved Emma can be. Luckily I am made of sterner stuff."

Emma glared at her but couldn't complain as she was the one who had started the game. However, she had time to mutter "yeah, no matter what I do, this one never complains" before the elevator reached the ground floor and Thom made his quick escape with a stammered "h-have a good day."

Regina turned to Emma and arranged her features in an offended grimace before remarking, " _this one_?"

Emma stared back and scoffed at Regina's indignant look, "how  _insatiable and depraved_  I can be?"

"Well if the shoe fits, dear." Regina smirked, very pleased with herself, and sashayed out of the elevator. Emma smiled, shook her head and followed the brunette out to the street.

They took a few steps on the pavement before Emma laughed out loud. Regina looked at her questioningly.

"Man, the look on his face!" Emma explained and kept laughing

Regina had to smirk at that. "You are such a child. He is a nice person and doesn't deserve us placing debauched images in his mind and making him uncomfortable."

As they turned the street corner Emma replied with a sneer, "oh please, he might be uncomfortable when he is stuck with us in an elevator but I bet he likes thinking about it late at night."

" _Emma_ , that's despicable!"

"Yeah well, it's probably true though", Emma shrugged.

That was when Emma spotted her, the young woman in the tatty coat who had tried to rob her. She stared back at Emma and then took off running.

"Hey! Stop!" Emma shouted and gave chase. Regina looked confused but realised that she would have to follow the blonde, she ran after the two women, her heels only slightly slowing her down.

As they turned another corner Emma saw the young woman run towards a small group of people in an alleyway. She stopped in front of the others and turned towards Emma, fixing her with those strange translucent eyes of hers.

Emma could see that the girl had gotten new facial tattoos and dyed her hair in the same shade of blue as her inked markings. A detached voice in Emma's head pointed out that it looked pretty cool before she was shaken back to the real world by Regina stopping next to her and conjuring a big fireball with her right hand.

Regina didn't ask any questions and Emma was grateful for that. There were four people and the girl in the tatty coat in front of them. They all seemed to have a weapon of some sort, Emma could see knives, throwing stars and even a gun, but she felt confident that between them, she and Regina could beat them with magic.

Emma raised her arms to prepare to fire magic into the crowd if anyone decided to try out their weapons on them, then she looked at the girl in the tatty coat and growled "hey, you! Have you been following me?"

"I 'ave, sweetcheeks… well spotted! And you came running just like a good little doggy" the young woman said and turned her eerie eyes towards a crouching man wearing a hood. "I told ya she'd chase me. I reckon she's some kinda police back where they're from."

The man in the hood stood up slowly and replied "maybe." He pulled his hood down and both Emma and Regina recognized him from Regina's drawing. This was the guy who turned into a rat.

"You!" Regina hissed and Emma saw her fireball grow slightly in size.

"Yeah, me. But the problem is that I don't know who this  _me_  is," the man in the hood hissed back. His voice had a wheezy, sneering quality to it and it made Emma's skin crawl.

"You mean you got caught in the blast and lost your memories too?" Emma asked as she tried to evaluate if this guy was a threat to them.

"Apparently so. Some of my associates", here he pointed to the three people behind him and tatty-coat-girl, "found me running away from you guys and recognized me. You see this is my part of town and these are my people, they know me. So as soon as they realised I lost my memory they filled in the blanks about who I am."

He picked up something from his pocket which looked like a chocolate bar, unwrapped half of it and revealed a chalk-white bar of some description which he proceeded to take a bite from. He didn't swallow his mouthful he just kept talking with the bright white goo visible every time his mouth opened enough.

"But you see, they don't know where I was, or  _why_  for that matter, before I showed up back in Culltown. I thought you two lovely little  _bitches_  might know? Or if not you, then the guy with the freaky metal thing for a hand? Where is he anyway?"

"He went on holiday to the seaside. He'll return soon with a nice tan and some souvenirs for us all", Regina replied in a bored tone and then continued more menacingly, "now we come to the part where you tell us why we should inform you of anything and not just magic your puny brains all over the wall behind you."

He gave her a humourless grin which showed white pieces of food stuck in his yellowish teeth and hissed "because I can get you home."

"How?" Emma interjected.

"I'll tell you that when you tell me what you know about the place where we were before arriving here", he hissed in his wheezy voice.

Regina and Emma shared a look and wordlessly agreed to tell him what they knew, after all, getting home was their first priority and what little information they had couldn't be used against them.

"We don't remember much. However, it's a town called Storybrooke and it would seem that I am the Mayor of it. Interestingly enough, we can both remember chasing you out of it for threatening someone we care about", Regina replied tersely and allowed her fireball to flare up a little to remind everyone of their possible fiery fate.

"Oh, now that  _does_  sound like you, Thraken", the young woman in the tatty coat sniggered.

He gave her a menacing look and then turned his gaze back to Emma and Regina. "That is not a lot to go on, is it? You see, I have a feeling that I had unfinished business there but it is driving me crazy not to know what it was. Perhaps I wanted to kill whomever it was I was threatening? I do have something that might jog your memory", he wheezed and brought out something big that he had been hiding in his large, ho0ded cloak. It was a book.

Both women stared at the reddish brown book with gilded letters that read Once Upon a Time and had an instant emotional connection to it.

Suddenly the anger flared up too high in Regina and she screamed "that belongs to  _our son_ " and threw her fireball towards the man in the cloak. He managed to dodge it but fell over as he did, spilling most of the contents of his pockets. Something small and shiny tumbled out and did something that captured everyone's attention. It opened a large swirling vortex.


	20. Coming back to Storybrooke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: While reading this chapter, remember that I only write happy endings!   
> (Side note, the ending to this particular fic is coming up soon I'm afraid.) Thanks to the anon who got posted on confessuponatime's Tumblr for the idea of Mary Margaret being mad about Pinterest!

"Emma! Do you remember what that is?" Regina shouted desperately over the sound of the vortex.

"Yeah, it's the thing from your drawing!" Emma shouted back as she flitted her gaze back and forth from the thugs in the alley and Regina, making sure that nobody moved.

"I believe I remember what it is. It's a portal, hang on to me and think of Storybrooke. It'll take you where you wish it to", Regina explained.

Emma gave a panicked grimace as she once again looked from Regina and back to Thraken and his gang. "But, how can I think about a place I can't remember?!"

"Just think of Henry! We have to hurry!" Regina shouted back and grabbed hold of Emma's hand and leapt into the swirling circle.

The last thing Emma saw before the vortex swallowed her up was a flash of Thraken's cloak and the brown book of fairytales he still carried as he jumped in after them. Then she thought of Henry as hard as she could. She thought about short, mussed up brown hair, a sweet smile and a long scarf. And then….

THUMP.

They landed on the cold hard ground and dazedly Emma looked around to find Regina. The brunette was splayed out on the street with her head on the edge of a sidewalk and her eyes were closed.

"Shit, not again! Regina, wake up!" Emma shouted and crawled over to the woman.

Over Regina's body she could see a store front with a sign that said  _MR. GOLD Pawnbroker_. She looked back down at the unconscious brunette who looked strangely drawn and lifeless. Emma's blood was pounding in her ears as she started to panic that this time Regina might not wake up, this time she might have actually lost her.

Emma sobbed, "Regina. Please wake up. We're here. We did it, we're in Storybrooke. We can go find Henry now." She picked up the lifeless brunette and cradled her in her arms, as she did that she saw that there was blood from the back of Regina's head on the edge of the sidewalk.

She sat down more comfortable and held Regina close as she decided to try the thing that had happened in the car, but this time  _she_  had to kiss  _Regina_. She kissed her tenderly, first on the forehead and then on the mouth.

The brunette didn't move and Emma continued sobbing as she begged, "babe? Wake up. Oh crap, I did it again. Well, there you go…. Wake up and tell me off for calling you  _babe_. Come on, Regina… please wake up. I need you, sweetheart."

As nothing happened Emma looked up at the street to scream for help and for someone to get a doctor but through the haze of her tears she saw that people were already there with her and it looked like they had been there a while.

There was a short man with a cane, a brunette with a pixie haircut who was holding on to a broad-shouldered man with stubble and finally another brunette, this one with long hair, who seemed to be staring at Thraken who stood behind Emma and Regina.

Suddenly the shorthaired brunette sprang into action from the state of frozen shock and gasped, "Emma, oh sweetheart! We were in Gold's shop and heard the commotion! We were so worried, I can't believe you're back! What's happened to Regina, should we get Doctor Whale?"

Emma just looked confused at the woman through the veil of her tears and murmured "she hit her head when we came out of the vortex. She won't wake up!"

The man with the cane hissed tiredly, "no need for a doctor. That damned woman becomes unconscious three times a week, she's got a skull as thick as marble from all the falling down. There's not that much blood. I should be able to heal her."

Healing Regina magically hadn't even occurred to Emma in her panic. She stared at the man who now kneeled by her and placed his hand just above where the back of Regina's head was bleeding. Soon the blood was gone and so was the gash which had been almost buried under the thick coffee-coloured hair.

Regina's eyes fluttered open and she stared at Emma before gasping "Emma!"

"It's ok, sweetheart. You're okay. We made it to Storybrooke, I think, but you hit your head on the sidewalk edge as we landed and this man here magically healed it. Does it hurt?" Emma asked with her voice filled with affection.

"No, I… I feel fine. Don't worry", Regina said and reached up to brush away a falling tear from Emma's cheek.

As Emma helped Regina sit up they heard Thraken speak behind them. "Now isn't this sweet? The two lovebirds made it back. Now can we finally figure out who the hell we are and why I needed to kidnap the brat with this book", he snarled and waved the fairytale book around.

The broad-shouldered man with the stubble looked at Thraken and asked "you don't remember who you are?!"

"No, there was an accident in Culltown, which is where we just came from. Me and Emma have unearthed some scattered memories, which I am sure rodent-boy here has too, but other than that we don't remember who we are", Regina said as she carefully examined the back of her head with her right hand. Her left hand was held tight in Emma's and this was what the short-haired brunette looming over them kept staring at with big eyes.

Regina stared back at her and drawled, "can I help you, dear?"

The woman with the pixie cut glanced at the man who was standing with is arm around her and also staring at the two women's clasped hands and then she looked back at Regina. "Um. No, um. It's just… well… David?"

She turned to the broad-shouldered man next to her and he just shrugged. The short man with the cane gave an annoyed noise and muttered "this is going to be a long painful process, isn't it? Well I don't want to be here when you all explain to the two lovers who they are and that they aren't really supposed to be so  _lovey-dovey_  with each other."

He began to walk away but was called back by the long-haired brunette who in an accented voice said "Rumple! You can't just leave! I'm sure you know spells to return memories! And we have to deal with him as well", here she pointed to Thraken, "it's your fault that he came after Henry in the first place. He only wanted to kidnap him to blackmail you into removing the animorph spell you cast on him back in the Enchanted Forest."

"Belle! Being able to turn into a rat is a gift. I don't see what the fuss is about", the man whined.

"You prick! The fact that it happens every time I fall asleep, whether I want it to or not, is no gift! Do you know how many times people have tried to kill me when I was in rat form? No wonder I kidnapped that brat to make you change me back. Now, if you don't do it this time…. I'll have to hurt _her_ ", he hissed while pointing at Belle.

The brunette named Belle stared at him for a second. Then she surprised him with grabbing the hefty book of fairytales he held in his hand and using all her strength to whack him over the head with it. He collapsed like a ton of bricks and stayed down.

"No. No you won't", Belle said defiantly.

"Well that took care of that", Regina pointed out calmly and stood up, still holding Emma's hand for support.

When she saw that she had everyone's attention she looked at the man with the cane, the man that apparently was called Rumple, and stated, "I suggest that you do everything in your power to return our memories or I promise you that I will spend the rest of my life making yours  _hell_."

The short-haired brunette gave a mirthless little laugh and said "I'd take her word for that, Gold. We both know how good she is at holding a grudge and I promise you that being the target of it is no picnic."

"Ah, very well. I suppose it would save everyone some time if we just got this over with. It just so happens that I do have a potion that might do the trick and I must say that it will be fun to see the look on your faces when you remember who are", he gloated as he looked back and forth between Emma and Regina.

"I'm going to pick up that piece of rat meat over there and take him to a jail cell until we decide what to do with him, and I'll pick up Henry from school and bring him back here too", the man with the stubble said.

"Alright, David. We'll be in Gold's shop", the short-haired brunette said and reached up to give him a quick peck on the lips.

He walked over and picked up Thraken and threw the unconscious man over his shoulder with a grunt. Then he turned back to Emma and with a caring smile he said, "you have no idea how wonderful it is to have you back safe and sound."

"Thanks, Dad", Emma said beamingly before she realised what she had called him.

He walked off just as Regina raised an eyebrow and queried " _Dad?_  I thought you remembered being raised in foster care? And that man is not nearly old enough to be your father."

"Oh you'd be surprised. Just wait until you find out how old  _you_  are", the woman named Belle said with a playful smile.

Regina stared at her blankly, not sure whether to be insulted or not, and then they all walked in to the pawn shop.

* * *

Having mixed a white liquid from a large, oblong bottle with a clear liquid from a small vial, Rumple poured the finished product into a small glass and handed it to Emma.

In a sardonic voice he instructed, "it will take a while for the potion to work so don't expect it all to come flooding back instantly. Oh and don't drink it all! You have to share with your….  _sweetheart_ , was it?"

Emma stared at him for a second and worried what exactly she would remember when she drank this stuff. What if she and Regina were mortal enemies? Or cousins?  _Or both?_  She would just have to risk it, they couldn't go on not knowing. She took a healthy gulp and audibly swallowed about half of the liquid before handing the glass over to Regina.

The brunette accepted the glass and stared at it suspiciously. Emma knew that she must be thinking what she herself had pondered and muttered, "I know what you're thinking, but we have to know and we have to remember who and what we are. For Henry's sake if nothing else."

Regina looked at her and nodded gravely before drinking the contents of the glass slowly and swallowing it a lot more elegantly than Emma had.

"Good. Now we wait for the penny to drop", the man with the cane said with an unpleasant smile.

All of a sudden they could hear running steps and a shout of "Mom! And Mom!"

Henry threw himself into Regina's arms and with a free hand tugged Emma into the embrace. "Henry!" Regina breathed happily and held him so tight she nearly squashed the boy. Emma just laughed and put her arms around both of them and kissed Henry's hair.

Henry's head was on Regina's shoulder so Emma could look into Regina's eyes at the very exact moment their memories came crashing back. The recollections filled their hazy minds like liquid fills a tumbler, drop after drop it filled up all the way to the brim. They both stared with big eyes as they remembered what they were to each other – former enemies and now tentative friends. Correction, now  _lovers_.

There were no words that could do the strange situation justice and so the room remained silent until Henry broke off the hug and said "so, David said that you would remember when I got here. Do you? 'Cause he also said that the two of you were holding hands and that you called each other babe and sweetheart and stuff when you arrived."

"Yes, we became very… close while we were away", Regina replied and Emma could hear the underlying panic in her voice.

Before Emma could say anything, or even think of what to say, Mary Margaret threw her arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. "Now that you know who I am, I can finally say welcome home properly, sweetheart!"

Emma returned the hug and murmured, "thanks, Mom" into Mary-Margaret's pink cardigan-covered shoulder.

"I've been climbing the walls while you were away! We couldn't think of anything to do to find you! I haven't eaten, slept or even kept up to date with Pinterest! Thank goodness I had David, Neal and Henry to look after or I would have just fallen apart", Mary Margaret sobbed happily.

Emma smiled at her and tried to ignore the worrying thought that her mother now rated posting cute things on Pinterest as high as eating and sleeping. "I'm back now and I'm fine. Me and Regina… wait, where's Regina?"

Henry scratched behind his ear in an embarrassed gesture. "Um, yeah, she snuck out. She said she needed to think. I didn't know if I should stop her."

Emma sighed and furrowed her brow as she muttered "don't worry about it, Kid. I think I know where she's going. Can I meet up with you guys at Granny's? Order me a hot chocolate and a beer claw, would ya?"

"Sure, Mom", Henry said with a worried smile as Mary Margaret and David led him out of the shop.

Gold looked at her and said, "I'm sure you know that this isn't going to be easy, Sheriff. I think we both know how it would shake Regina to suddenly fall in love with Snow White's daughter."

Emma scoffed quietly and put her hands in her back pockets as she replied "that's just the thing, I think both she and I know that this wasn't something that just happened  _suddenly_  in Culltown. This started to happen long before that, and I have to go talk to her about it as soon as possible. Anyway, thanks for the potion. I'll talk to you about what we are going to do about Thraken tomorrow."

Gold dipped his head in agreement and Belle chimed in, "Yes, he can wait. Just focus on making things right with Regina and well… then explaining everything to your parents. Good luck!"

Emma sighed and murmured, "yeah, thanks" before walking out and making her way to Regina's office, suspecting that she wouldn't make it there before Regina managed to barricade herself behind that damn door.


	21. Conclusions

Before Emma even got to the door of Regina's office she knew two things. Firstly, Regina would be in there freaking out. Secondly, that the door would be locked and the stubborn brunette wouldn't open it for her just like that. She thought about opening the door with magic or just knocking it down with brute force but she knew that she would never invade Regina's privacy like that. If Regina wanted that door locked, their conversation would once again have to be held with a door between them.

While taking a deep breath she knocked, more for the sake of politeness than because she thought the door would open.

"Not now, Sheriff. I need a moment to think", Regina's voice rang out from the other side of the door.

"Now you don't, Regina", Emma said through gritted teeth.

She leaned her forehead against the door and suddenly felt very tired, but still she continued, "If you sit in there and think of all the reasons that we shouldn't be together, you might just convince yourself that it is a closed case. You'll think about that for a short while you were my step-grandmother, that you were mortal enemies with my parents and tried to kill all three of us, the age difference between us, the fact that we are both women oh and of course the fact that if we don't work out it might hurt Henry. Did I get them all?"

A small voice came from inside the office "you forgot a myriad of things, including that it was because of me that you grew up in foster care. I'm a monster, Emma. Not a fit choice for  _the Saviour_."

"Oh for crying out loud, you are not a monster and I am not really a saviour, we're just human beings! And don't even start with the whole I'm-the-Evil-Queen-and-don't-deserve-love thing because you've changed and you know it! And for the hundredth time, it was my parents who stuck me in that wardrobe, not you. Stop listening to your brain, it only wants to punish you."

A sad sob escaped Regina's lips but she kept her tone defensive and harsh. "Then what should I listen to?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about your god damn heart? In Culltown, the very second all these obligations and ghosts of our past were gone, we realised that we were in love. Well, you know what? I think we have actually been in love for a long time, but all this…. crap… was keeping us from allowing ourselves to see it. Well now we have seen it and I don't know about you… but I can't just un-see it. I know now how much I love you and how much I need you, Regina. Please let me make you happy, I know I can."

Regina sniffed quietly and stood up to place her palms against the door that separated them. "What about the…"

Emma banged her fist against the door in frustration. "Oh screw it, Regina! Whatever it is you're still worrying about, don't! We'll fix it together. If we can move the frickin' moon together then we can make a relationship work too. Just… give us a chance. Can you at least do that? This is just the start, please don't end this before it's really begun. Just… let yourself love me", Emma croaked out desperately.

Regina closed her eyes tight and willed her fears back down into submission and then she let her hand slide down from the middle of the door to the handle. She unlocked the door and stood back. She, the woman would be the first to say that she didn't run from monsters but made them run from her, couldn't brave opening that door.

She berated herself for her cowardice, why was it so hard to dare to love like this? She had to do it. She had to try to love Emma the way the blonde deserved to be loved. But she couldn't be the one to open that door. With her chest moving fast from shallow little breaths, with her heart beating so hard she worried she might pass out, with her eyes brimming with tears she whispered two simple words, "come in."

Emma felt like she had been chillingly cold ever since their memories came flooding back and at those two words a warmth began to spread from her heart and out through her body. Without knowing it, she smiled as she gently opened the door and swiftly took the three steps separating herself from Regina.

Then they were clasped together like two pieces of the same person, their bodies fitted together as if they had been created for each other and their foreheads resting against one another's. Neither of them knew who had initiated the embrace just as neither of them knew who started the kiss that was about to melt their mouths together in warm, soft bliss. All they knew was that as much as returning to Storybrooke was a homecoming,  _this_  was their real home. In this embrace everything was understood, everything was accepted, everything was treasured and here they were stronger than they had ever been.

It took a long time for the kiss to come to its completion. As soon as it did Emma breathlessly whispered "man…. why haven't we done this years ago?"

Regina gave a happy little laugh and then forced her features into a faked mask of haughty reproach. "Because you cut off branches of my apple tree, you ruffian. You gorgeous, remarkable ruffian of mine."

Emma thought about indignantly retorting that she had damned good reasons for that but in the end she decided that it wasn't worth the bother. They would have years to bicker over who had pestered whom most… and which one of them had been the first to begin to fall head over heels.

So Emma just gave her another kiss before whispering "bitch" and earning herself a hard slap on the rear. Another kiss was shared but this one was lighter and filled with barely held back laughter. Their hands began to roam over each other's bodies and Emma knew that if she didn't get to that diner soon, they would be making love in this office for the next week or so.

"I think I have a plan, Madam Mayor", she said in between little affectionate pecks on the full lips that were now devoid of their plum-coloured lipstick.

In between the soft little assaults on her mouth Regina managed to laughingly reply "oh really, Sheriff. Do fill me in!"

"I promised Henry and my parents that I would meet them at Granny's. How about we both go there and spend some time with our son and eat something? Then we say that we need to discuss our possible relationship and what happened in Culltown in private and we head to your mansion and go at it like bunnies", Emma finished and continued peppering Regina's mouth with hungry little kisses.

Regina allowed her hands to firmly grip Emma's sexy, soft ass and pretended to ponder the plan. "Hmm, your little scheme has merits. However I vote we make your parents sit at another table and that you refrain from ever referring to our lovemaking as  _going at it like bunnies_."

Emma sucked her teeth with a faux-concerned look. "I'm afraid you couldn't pry my parents off us even with magic at this point. I might be able to give you the no-bunny-sex thing though, but then you can't get mad when I use dirtier words for what I am going to do to you and what I expect you to do to me."

"My, don't you drive a hard bargain, Miss Swan", Regina purred and gave Emma's petite rear a squeeze.

Emma felt her sex tingle pleasantly and once again reminded herself that they had to stop this right away or this would get very passionate very quickly.

Regina kissed her and teasingly bit her lower lip before huskily whispering "fine, you've got a deal. Now let's go before you have the need to douse yourself in cheap cherry perfume."

Emma laughed and took one of Regina's beautiful hands to lead her out of the room.

* * *

They were all sitting down at Granny's now and eating and drinking merrily. Regina picked at a salmon salad and rolled her eyes at all the questions that Mary Margaret and David shot at them. Henry, however, could do no wrong and was even more doted on by his two mothers than he had been in the past.

After a little while Archie walked in to get some coffee and spotted them.

"Emma! Regina! You're back! That's such good news! We'll have to arrange a homecoming party right away", he beamed at them and patted both their shoulders jovially, possibly a little more carefully when it was Regina's shoulder under his big hand.

"Oh me and Granny have already started planning for that", Mary Margaret assured him as she regarded Emma with a worshipping look. Her and David's joy to have Emma back meant that they hadn't reacted as badly to the idea of her and Regina as Emma might have thought, but she knew that it was early days yet, there was still a lot of work to be done here for all of them.

Archie saw how both of Emma's parents were staring happily at her and decided to turn his gaze to Regina. "Well, I must say that we are lucky to have you back with us, Regina. The town always seems to fall to pieces when its diligent Mayor isn't here to look after it and, well, the place just doesn't feel the same without you."

Regina smiled uncertainly at him and would have assumed that the man was just being polite if it wasn't for the fact that Leroy came up behind him and said "yeah! If we don't get going on that plan for more housing that you were working on, we'll all be knee deep in ogre's balls."

"Grumpy! Language!" Mary Margaret hissed at him.

He turned to her and winced. "Alright, sister! Sorry." Then he turned back to Regina and grudgingly said "I just mean that families are growing, and now that you're back you can… well… help us."

Regina didn't know what to say so she just nodded at him and he trailed off back to the counter where he had been having a burger and a double scotch.

Emma saw Mary Margaret looked hesitant and a mass of emotions shone in her kind eyes before she very carefully put her hand on top of Regina's and said, "it _is_  good to have you back and I'm grateful that you kept Emma safe and… happy over there. Thank you, Regina."

The two women stared at each other for a moment and then Regina smiled faintly and replied in a wavering voice, "we kept  _each other_  safe and happy. And it's…. good to see you too, Snow."

Suddenly David spoke up with a worried wrinkle between his eyes. "Hang on, what about Hook? You guys went there with him but returned without him!"

Emma and Regina shared a glance before Emma unenthusiastically nodded as to say  _I'll deal with this_.

As Emma explained that Killian Jones was happy in Culltown with his new lover, although she used a different term for Henry's sake, and explained why Culltown was a great fit for him Regina was lost in her own thoughts.

She remembered the nightmare she had back in Culltown, all those faces staring at her and hating her. The feeling that the best thing she could do for those around her was sacrifice herself for them and die. However, that wasn't what it had been like. Her cheeks grew hot as she thought about Archie's words, Leroy's words and even the words of her former arch-nemesis… and realised that she was welcome here. She was needed here. She looked at Henry, who was still stuffing his face with pastries, and at Emma and her parents and a quiet little voice inside her said  _you have family here_.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Emma looking anxiously at her and saying "damn, Hook still doesn't know who he is! He might be happy being left in Culltown but he should have his memories back."

Regina chuckled and waved her hand dismissively. "Oh don't worry about that, dearest. Culltown has to have a beach somewhere and mermaids can travel between realms. We'll just ask Ariel to take a message to him, I'm sure she'll relish the idea of jogging his memory as long as it includes reminding him of his less attractive deeds and giving him another slap to his prettyboy face."

Just then Granny put a cup of steaming, black coffee in front of Regina and muttered "yep, it's good to have you back, your Bitchyness" and cackled approvingly as she walked away.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final Author's note: Thank you all for reading this story even though it was a little different from most fanfics. This fic will always have a special place in my heart so I'm glad that some of you have really gotten invested in it. My next fic will most likely be another Enchanted Forest story (like Scent of Roses) and I hope to see some of you pop up as readers for that. If you want to chat to me about anything you can find me on Tumblr under the username violetscentedwriter , on Facebook where I'm called Violet Scented or on Twitter where I'm VioletscentedSQ . Thank you for reading.


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